Chalk Paint Makeover

It's the time of year I tend to get a little squirrelly. This season doesn't bring out the best in me, by any stretch of the imagination. I suspect my angst is still resonating from our Christmastime loss almost 15 years ago. I willed the world to stop turning but demands were still made and I lacked the strength at the time to firmly decline what was unreasonable while my son resided in the NICU. Christmas plans no longer mattered more than Ryan did; however, convincing family the plans we made prior to his untimely entrance into the world were not going to make the cut proved difficult at best. I still harbor some resentment 15 years later. If we can't stop long enough to acknowledge the life a baby boy in the flesh,  we are certainly failing to see the baby this entire season claims to be about.

So here I am again. It is December and my world is ready for the holidays in the increments I can handle, for as long as I can tolerate it. But I have some energy I should be using to make a difference in the world but am instead painting perfectly acceptable furniture.  Living with me is anything but easy. Greg never knows what changes he will walk into when I am restless. Friday I painted our sofa table and both end tables white in hopes of  brightening the living room I feel closing in on me. The bookcases are on Monday's agenda. Greg, ever stoic has said nothing. Ty, no where near Prince Charming status demanded to know why I changed it. He doesn't like change.

The weekend holds plans for lunch with my parents and an afternoon with my dad while my mom takes Kate and Ty to The Nutcracker Ballet. And this evening Greg and I are attending a date night at church. Tomorrow some little friends are visiting because they miss coming to my house every day. While they play, a friend is taking Kate and Ty ice skating. Given my history of two broken wrists acquired during a walk, I will politely decline any opportunity to put myself on ice. However, I am grateful for the community that loves on my kids; providing Christmastime magic when I am perhaps not feeling up to it.