March

 

This one woke on his 8th birthday, looked out the window and saw a trampoline. He got excited and asked, "is that for me or Dean?" I cannot love this more. Dean is just that awesome.

Baseball season launched this month and his first practice fell on a gorgeous sixty degree night. It was a beautiful kick-off to a fun season in the stands. 

Grading adventures with Kenna are always a treat in our group chat. She also had a student challenge her to an arm wrestling competition. She agreed on the condition he turned in all homework for the week since that goal has been difficult for him all year. Not only did he bring in his completed assignments each day, but he also brought a handheld grip strengthener to prepare for his big event. By the time Friday rolled around, he had half the school cheering for him, including administration. Makenna showed no mercy and won but declared him a worthy opponent.

Kate started the month in a cardiology office and wearing a heart monitor. Her ring has been capturing irregular heartbeats for a year now and it was time to verify her normal baseline in case something unusual presents in the future. We really liked the cardiologist and his reassurance. An echocardiogram has also been ordered and follow-up takes place in the coming months. We aren't worried, just being proactive.

Greg had some skin cancer removed and the process was more lengthy and expensive than either of us expected. It's amazing how quickly a small psoriasis patch turned into squamous cell carcinoma. The dermatologist used the MOHs procedure to eliminate risk of spreading. It has a 97% success rate but wow, the butchering required was a shock. We are grateful for the conclusion.

Lemon ricotta cake. Just because....

Greg's dad was moved into a memory care unit in the beginning of the month. This has been a heartbreaking journey to witness. He is a very happy guy working in the building he literally served for a few decades. Under his leadership as the board president, the facility expanded to include independent living cottages and beautiful grounds. He thinks he is there as a board member working on expansion plans and interviewing fellow residents about their accommodations. It really is a best case scenario for a crappy situation. He is still pleasant and easily talked out of leaving with explanations about canceled meetings and closed tax offices. We are praying he remains content. 

Greg's mom, on the other hand, has decided to dig her heels into resentment and anger. She is grumpy and doesn't mind making others miserable too. We knew she had it in her but even I am shocked by some of her attitude. Given neither of them were on any medications to treat any medical conditions before Carol's fall, the road ahead looks long. They are both seriously healthy people in need of a lot of support for dementia.

Months ago, Dean said he wanted a puppy this spring. I was gobsmacked. Another dog?!? I quietly pointed out that one of them has to be reasonable when it comes to animal hoarding and they already have three dogs. Without missing a beat, Dean declared he would not be that guy. This is a problem because I know it won't be Lauren either. Anyway, there are now 20 chickens in the office and a coop being constructed by the barn, but not yet another puppy. 

I loved my morning commute again. The sunrise reflected on the river through the yellow bridge I adore but most loathe, just made me smile. And then daylight savings arrived and I was back to driving in the dark. It won't be long now before I will not only get my sunrise drive back but also commute towards sunset on my way home; same river, same bridge, slightly different color on the river. An overzealous neighbor mowed his yard in the first week of March,  but I get it. Spring has sprung and with it comes the sunshine my soul craves all winter. I'm grateful for it each year and this year in particular because life has been HARD. Budding trees, greening lawns and warming trends restore me. (PS. Greg was not having it and has mowed three times since that guy started the lawn war.)

A new weekend favorite. Ty devours the crusty bread with seasoned olive oil.

Greg landed a job that on paper seems like it was written for him. He will be working for Kentucky OSHA as a safety expert supporting small businesses establishing effective safety programming. He will be on a team that assists companies with their policies, audits and troubleshooting. Other than the office being over an hour away, the role is perfect for him. We are grateful it came about so quickly. I keep reflecting my meltdown the day after he lost his job in January and my boss confidently stated the Lord had to close a door Greg didn't know how to walk out. The wisdom she shared that day resonated. When I told her about his offer, she boldly exclaimed, "just watch God do it." I love her faith and drew strength from her these last few months as I moved money and creatively met needs. As the old refrain echoes in my memory, "God is good all the time and all the time, God is good." We know without question, Greg would not have chosen to leave Amazon for a pay cut but because Amazon was removed, he is happy to be starting his new role April 1.

During spring break, I talked these guys into checking out Top Golf. We had a great time and Ty has asked to return with friends again soon.

Cowboy boots like all serious golfers wear.

The only other time I swung a golf club, was in December at my office Christmas party. The number of times I swing and fail to make contact with the ball is ridiculous and yet, somehow, I won then and again this visit.

But then the system realized I am not a four year old and withheld sympathy points.

Greg and I took salads to Carol and broke Dale out of memory care for a visit in Carol's room. Both were lucid and in good spirits that trip, making the trek more peaceful. While we were in town, we saw our niece, Lexie on stage as a little chef and a sea creature in The Little Mermaid. She shined. We are grateful we had the opportunity to see her in the spotlight. And then Chris and Kristin hosted us overnight. We talked until after midnight and chatted again in the morning before making our way back down the highway toward home. We've found a restaurant we appreciate outside of Cincinnati for a decent meal on travel days. Sitting in a booth over glasses of tea or cups of coffee gives us time to process the details of each run to Dayton. It's only been a month of facility living for Dale and Carol but she claims it's been a year. In so many ways, that feels possible. A lot of life has transpired in a very short amount of time.

In addition to locating trophies earned during Greg's years playing football for his high school, we also found his class photo in the hallway outside the theater during Lexie's intermission.

I listened to a sermon from Restore Austin Church on my way to work one Sunday morning. The message centered around the theme of strength and used the scene in the Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus reattached the ear of the soldier sent to arrest him. Now the message went on from there but my brain latched on and stayed stuck for a bit. Can you imagine being that soldier? You are sent to arrest this man for blasphemy and yet you experience Him first hand. He is who He says he is and you will either follow orders or you will be executed. I text Greg about my thoughts and ended it by saying I'd added him to my list of people I want to speak with in Heaven. He responded by saying he doesn't have a list of biblical people he wants to talk to in Heaven. Weird. I mean, doesn't everyone? 😂

During spring break, we planned a day at the zoo. Once we arrived and endured the cold wind in the parking lot for approximately 30 seconds, we pivoted and went to the Science Center instead. It was a solid choice as these two played for over three hours and could have gone longer had their grownups not needed to accomplish a few other goals that day.

31 never looked so beautiful.

He cannot love the new park at the end of our neighborhood more. He wants a sleepover soon so we can spend the entire day there. He has the perfect spot scouted for a picnic lunch as well.

I surprised him with a tour of Woodford Reserve for his birthday this year. He was not disappointed and the guide was fantastic.

Kate and I took a road trip to London for a sleepover and then a tulip festival. We got some quality time together and also shared memories with my mom and sister.

Tulips are my favorite. Someday I will see them in Holland. It's on my bucket list.

My road trip buddy is moving back home next month. She and Riley have decided to save money for a house to start their married life stronger financially. We couldn't be more thrilled. She moved out long before I was ready to let her go and has survived three years of independence. The economy is making that survival more difficult so we get to have her back for a bit. Riley's parents are also delighted he is going home and they are even happy to welcome their dog with him. Greg and I are reluctantly accepting the cat. 

Anyone else see our mischievous little Lauren in those eyes?

The night before the big birthday party that had already been postponed once for weather, Lauren video called me for an evaluation on her finger. She broke up a dog fight and her middle finger was caught in the chaos. On video, it looked broken, dislocated and in need of a few stitches. Once Dean got her to us though, the bleeding had stopped and whereas I do think she has a fracture, it no longer appeared dislocated. So we saved her considerable money and time, sending her home with supplies and instructions for cleaning it, keeping it coated in antibiotic ointment and splinted rather than the emergency room. We are, of course, watching for infection as well. However, while they were enroute, I asked Greg if he would be willing to put the finger back into place. He looked terrified, "not for Lauren. That girl comes out swinging." 😂

They have requested a trampoline at our house. Their request has been denied.

When Lauren asked him about cakes, he declared he didn't care where she got it or what it looked like as long as it tasted like Aunt Erin's. So Aunt Erin made his cake and no one was disappointed.

Number 8 sparkler from Aunt Theresa 

March was full of weather mood swings, lots of highway miles, birthday celebrations, baseball practice, a job offer, medical appointments and a needed spring break. I'm learning, still learning how to hold the tension of both hard and beautiful at the same moment. It seems some months offer several opportunities to practice.

February

It was pretty until it wasn't. 

I made homemade dinner rolls for Soup Sunday. The scent of fresh baked bread throughout the house and then the delight of everyone oohing and ahhing over the texture made the two hour investment quite worthwhile.

Management handed out boxes for us to decorate and then exchange Valentines. It was a cute morale boost.

I spent January training my new counterpart at work and she thanked me with a sweet note, candle and gift card. I decided to use consumables in the decorative bowl around the candle and neither Greg nor Ty had any complaints about the Valentine "decor."

• I was able to thoroughly enjoy a few sixty degree days off in the sunshine this month. The energy and restoration of my spirit unmatched by any other source. It's amazing how much I respond to fresh air and sunlight. Greg and I walked, ran to Kate's to wish a cute little guy a happy birthday and also held down my porch swing for hours with books. I am beyond grateful for the days. 

• I've been thinking a lot about how I hold the tension of recognizing the pain of circumstances while also finding joy in micro interactions. I can both grieve for the world but also laugh with a patient. My boss recently acknowledged she was noticing the small things and thanking God for them too. A box of chocolate covered raisins from her daughter didn't diminish the cancer diagnosis in her family but it still made her smile. I call it chasing light. I hope I never lose the ability to do this. I've worked hard to become the person who still seeks joy when my world is falling apart around me. And it's pretty cool to see the art of noticing can also be contagious. I was encouraged by the conversation. 

• Twelve hours after taking this shot, I had a sore throat. Within hours, fatigue and chills followed. I went down hard. Urgent Care has nothing on elementary school. Germs are the only things kids share well. One would think my immune system could handle it. One would be wrong. I was knocked down for over a week with Flu A. But before the flu, I got to spend an afternoon with some rowdy third graders and my favorite teacher. She asked me to bring my camera for the yearbook. The kids were so much fun jumping in front of my lens with their buddies and silly poses. This little guy only wanted one picture though. He wanted it with Miss Baughman. I loved the energy and opportunity to hang out with a room full of kids again. 

• Greg felt a strong need to see his parents in my final days of flu recovery. I was no longer contagious but still wiped out so he took Ty for the road trip. They no sooner arrived than his mom fell and broke her hip. The dread as reality of the situation settled was a blow. Erin drove me to Dayton to pick up Ty and deliver an overnight bag to Greg. Hospital transport, surgery, rehab decisions and what to do with a confused dad created some long, hard days. Greg was grateful for the time to be there as a support but being up close and personal to the situation wasn't easy.  The heartbreaking journey of watching both Dale and Carol lose more and more of themselves to chaotic brains working overtime to just pull the name of a son has taken a toll. Greg called, "I do not want this in our future. There has to be another way." And oh how I wish. I so want there to be a peaceful, graceful goodbye in place of this confusion and fear. Carol has been far more aware as she quietly loses pieces but Dale has been lost in large chunks so quickly. Both are brutal. And to lose them both this way is anything but fair. 

I'm not on Facebook but apparently I was still posted on Norton's page. My manager sent me a screenshot.

• I was recognized at work for above and beyond care of our patients. I was pretty overwhelmed by the surprise award and kept saying, "this patient was the impressive one. I was just doing my job." But my manager nominated me because his letter was one of several comments from patients and her observations. I'm humbled by the recognition. 

Erin's office threw her a going away party and we are all impressed with these gorgeous cupcakes. She says they were also delicious.

• Erin celebrated her final day with the University of Louisville. She has been serving patients with HIV through the school of infectious disease for the last several years but it was time to change roles. She will be running a clinic that manages disability claims for Veterans. She will miss so many of her patients but I suspect she will soon be smiling about some new ones too. 

• My friend Karen and her mom flew into town for a family wedding this final February weekend. I got to host them and Anne for dinner the last Friday of the month. It was delightful to laugh and talk and compare parenting notes together. I'm grateful for the time spent.