Nightmare

In my nightmare, I was driving the van along Highway 150. It's a road I travel far too often since Lauren works in that area and has been dating a boy who lives down the stretch of road for the last nine months. We're still not thrilled with that relationship, but what are we going to do? As much as locking her in a tower until she has the ability to think like an adult kicks in appeals to me at times, reality says she needs to learn a few life lessons in this relationship. I think God has a few lessons to teach me in all of this as well. This parenting gig has been tough lately.

But back the dream...I was driving and Ty was throwing a tantrum in the back seat. Throughout the course of his fit, he threw my wallet out the window. The very next thing I saw was Kate diving out of the moving van to go after it. She darted out in front of me and I couldn't stop. I was screaming and crying but couldn't stop the van. It just kept rolling. I woke with a start at 3 am and sleep evaded me for the rest of the night. I am still weepy thinking about it. The truth is that there have been too many issues lately where I am dealing with what I think is serious with one child only to discover real problems are occurring right before my eyes with another. I am outnumbered. Seriously outnumbered. And overwhelmed.

We've recently discovered parenting a young adult may not be as easy as we anticipated. She wants to behave as though we are her landlords without a voice in her life. She lacks ambition and refuses college. She is also turning down offers for full time jobs with benefits and college reimbursement because she likes her job at Subway. One offer was literally $4 more on the hour, guaranteed full time hours, and excellent promotions from within. Whereas we are thrilled she likes what she does, we are desperately trying to get her to look beyond the here and now. Minimum wage dead end jobs do not support anyone. We have made it clear that free room and board are available while she is a student. Adults who live here without pursuing higher learning will pay rent to cover their own cell phone, car insurance, etc. If she wants to stay in a job that barely covers basic essentials, she needs to know what life costs. It isn't going well and the tension in our home is not pleasant.

Greg sensing I needed a few hours out sent me for tea with a friend early Thursday morning. It was pretty relaxing and speaking with a like minded friend on family issues helps restore a little of that "not everything my kid does reflects poor parenting" sanity. The truth is I tend to shoulder responsibility my kids' actions rather than accept they are individuals who have their own spirits. My tea time wrapped up when I received the following text from Greg, "our youngest two just tried to convince me they would stay quietly in their rooms so I could go to bed if I would just let them have candy for breakfast". He followed that with, "I think they're new here". I replied, "nope, they think YOU are new here!" and headed home and restore order.