Robbed

I have been robbed and the only thing missing is my sanity. I have vague memories of sanity but scarcely recall how that felt. I know I had it at moments of crazy but lost it somewhere in the midst of more crazy. I am the mom who prepared family meals every night served around the table with silverware and real dishes. Church, youth group and Awana were priorities in our weekly schedules. Sponge Bob and several Disney shows were banned because they weren't positive influences. I read books before the girls because questionable topics tend to pop up in popular novels. I prayed for them and with them. I taught them bible verses and sang Veggie Tales along with them. Our home was as peaceful and loving as possible in a family with a houseful of kids. It wasn't perfect by any stretch but making our home a sanctuary was a message I embraced and believed would shield my kids from hard life while they were too young to cope with it. I told them to be nice and taught them manners.  Family time was more important than anything else. What happened? I marked all the right boxes and yet the teens are convinced they have been ripped off in some way. They feel as though they aren't understood and we expect Pollyannas in a Snookie world. In truth, we do. Isn't that what we've invested the last 17 years creating? Yes, they will be individuals and need to find their own way but seeing them turn from our values and what we've worked so hard to provide is challenging.  It is not easy to stand back and let them flail but in reality,they need to learn from their own mistakes. Naive parents believe it can't happen to them because they've invested so wisely. Like our 401K in 2008, it can deteriorate right before your eyes. As it first began to unravel, I was grasping to hold on but found my efforts as futile as holding water in my bare hands. I recently heard a wise older woman say we cannot be anyone's holy spirit. That resonated within my heart. I want to be their conscience. I want to pull them back and lock them in their rooms until they are no longer making unhealthy choices but in truth, that isn't my role in this season. Oh I want to! I really want to. There is still accountability and this is still our home where we are leading but the condition of their heart is between them and the Lord. Thank God for his truth. I have faith they will be back.

In the mean time, my husband is trying to send strong messages to the boy we want to go away. Lauren thinks he's a prince. We know he's a toad. This is what Greg and Erin came up with this weekend while I was out.

 Erin's English teacher told her he saw this photo on Instagram and thought he should call CPS. We say, "bring it!" maybe CPS could post a notice on our front door warning all future boyfriends we are insane and willing to go to jail to protect our girls. The teacher was teasing.