Week Fifty-Two

 

My parents recorded themselves reading The Night Before Christmas years ago for Kate and Ty. I've obviously held onto the Hallmark book for years. This weekend I surprised Austin with it. He, of course, had to know how it worked but was delighted as well.

Greg and I said words that aren't blog friendly as we assembled this. 

Lauren has wanted a dalmatian since she was three and cried when she bought him on Saturday. Austin was so surprised and quite happy with his mommy's wild purchase.

The reindeer food had a hilarious ending. I mentioned including the magic flying dust. Before anyone could react, Austin shoved a whole spoonful into his mouth. It was all purpose flour. He froze with a wide, open mouth while I laughed until tears ran down my face. Plot twist, he didn't fly.

He was delighted to have snagged my glasses as we took a quiet moment on the porch together. Christmas overwhelms his Mimi. Sometimes he needs a break too.

Another day, another hot cocoa bomb. 

Reading his keychain. 

His needs are so simple. He was disappointed we couldn't shop for another family this year. It wasn't in the budget but he eagerly accepted Little Debbie snack cakes and two inexpensive gifts as his Christmas. He didn't want the mess of Christmas decorations and passed on joining the girls at Lauren's Christmas morning. He is his mother's child.

He loves this thing. He made popcorn five times the first twenty-four hours.

I bought one of these for each of my children.

Reading her keychain......

For as magical as Christmas can appear in photographs and sometimes even in our memories, it's simply not my favorite. This year in particular, while a friend held her newborn in the NICU throughout the week of Christmas and all those memories from twenty years ago came flooding back, I tapped out. Despite not baking, shopping or decorating, it still felt like too much. It was too much. The traditional Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas morning breakfast and Christmas Day dinner and each was met with people rushing in and out rather than connecting. By 9 am on Christmas Day, we were alone and I declared it the final time I do it. I simply can't keep trying to make the memories for others at the expense of my own peace. At this point, I just want to insure my parents have a Christmas option because it matters to them. Maybe next year the girls can host their grandparents while I'm on a beach somewhere.

"Santa" gave us $100 and insisted we get out of the house to do something fun so we took Ty to the Corvette Museum in Bowling Green for a day. He wants to return when he is old enough for the driving experience. His dad wants in on that too. 

I've often joked about sitting around eating bon bons but had actually never had them. My sister gifted me some a few weeks ago and I finally opened them with a cup of tea this week and sampled them in the quiet of my bed with a good book. Let's just say this will no longer be a joke. They were that good.

I showed up for my massage on Thursday and was met with the sweet news someone had paid for it in advance. Someone else slipped cash into Erin's wedding card box for us. The year has been tough and those generous gestures mean a lot to me. 

The Wedding/ Week Fifty-One

Erin had one rule for her wedding, "no one is allowed to be stressed." Apparently we are all rule followers because it was a beautiful, stress free night. The ceremony was the shortest, simplest wedding I've ever attended. They managed the legal exchange publicly. They have written their own vows to exchange privately on the beach during their honeymoon. I love the way they compromised. He got the party, she gets the privacy. 

My aunt held onto the article published about my grandparent's wedding.

Erin was a baby at this party, twenty-eight years ago.

Happy 51st anniversary, Mom and Dad. Erin planned a party for you 😉

They selected my parent's wedding anniversary as their wedding date. We then learned my parents were married on my mom's parent's wedding anniversary. My grandparents were married on their grandparent's wedding anniversary. Out of six generations, four of them were married on December 16. 

As far as I know, Austin was the only one who got teary eyed during the wedding. He explained he was just so happy Evan is really his uncle. Sometimes that little monster is so sweet.

My friends from Ohio drove down for the night. It was beyond good for my soul to have my people gathered around me and to celebrate the first of all our babies. We have been through the parenting ringer together over the years and the delight they had for our girl was palatable. They also couldn't get over "Baby Kate" and her beauty. And then "Ty Man" is suddenly sounding like a man with height to match. These kids grow up so fast and I love seeing them through my friend's eyes. 

Wednesday marked Ryan's twentieth birthday. Time has healed the bulk of my broken heart but there are moments it still feels like twenty years couldn't possibly have passed. The way he felt in my arms as I rocked him into the gates of heaven isn't something I'll likely ever forget. But with the pain of this life and knowing he would have faced even more significant challenges, I can't help but think he is the lucky one. I just miss what could have been and anticipate holding him again someday. 

Wednesday also marked the last day I worked with Leah. It was a hard day all around. Souls like Leah's aren't easy to find. I'm grateful for her and program we were able to build together. My final semester has at least one more difficult challenge as I navigate it without my person. 

Thursday the Rentschlers came for an overnight visit. We went to see the light exhibit in Charlestown Park together. We all enjoyed the long conversations and laughter. The kids were all fast friends and Austin insisted he also spend the night. 

The seventh annual Christmas Light Scavenger Hunt took place last night. The Hills and Edwards predetermined our family would be winning this year because Austin was involved and has had a rough week. As it turns out, an elusive stocking secured the win anyway. However, Austin finds bragging rights a terrible prize. 

Week Fifty

Grinch day and a quick moment for Lauren to hug her boy. His father is in town for eleven days. This is the first Lauren has had to let her child leave for an extended period. This is tough. So tough. 

I had this guy back to the doctor for an ongoing double ear infection. He was able to have his ears flushed and both he and the doctor laughed clear through the messy process. In the end, he exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, I can hear! It's so loud!"

I was recently reminded how easy it is to slip into a negative mindset when surrounded by those who are not easily impressed. I never want to miss the beauty of sunrise or way light glistens off morning frost. I want to always notice the leaves blowing in a gentle breeze. I will continue to appreciate food made with hands who serve and cherish the hugs of anyone offering. Life is beautiful if we have eyes that see. May mine remain open. I want to always be awed. I have the honor of mentoring a troubled young man at school and complexity of his life never ceases to amaze me. He is brilliant, just unable to conform. His life is one battered by complicated adults and mental health. I love him. Hearing his fascination with our world makes me see with fresh eyes. There really is beauty in the mess. I pray my eyes are always open.

We celebrated two birthdays this past weekend. Ava "Bear" is now 8 and one of my most favorite people. We took a road trip to Bloomington to surprise her during her party. Goodness I miss her family. And then Sunday, we met Matt and Kristil in Louisville for a Cuban lunch on their way back through town to Cleveland. We should have grabbed a photo but we would have had to stop eating and laughing in order to make that happen. Also, we are all old and forgetful.

This wild week ended in celebration for the one who decided two months ago she wanted to graduate, sell her condo, buy a house and get married by this weekend in the busiest month of the year. Apparently she thrives under pressure because she wrapped the semester with a 4.0 and graduated with highest honors. Seriously, this girl is unstoppable.

Mom and Dad drove into town today to attend both the graduation but also the wedding. It is going to be a wild weekend full of people who are thrilled to be a part of celebrating Erin. 

Under this dog is a pillow I would like to keep in good shape. He knows this.