Thankful

Makenna was honored at a banquet for the school district last week. She won Support Staff Person of the Year for her building.

Not all assistants are created equally. 

Greg made friends with a little guy at church who sits in front of us. He is a year old and very busy. He knows he has a fan club in all of us as we all wave and pass communion cups back and forth to entertain him until his mom gives up and takes him to the nursery. This Sunday, he was pushing himself out of his dad's arms, reaching for Greg. His dad grinned about how much Colton loves men and makes friends wherever they go. After service, the little guy went running up to Greg with his arms raised and Greg no longer resisted scooping him up. Everyone giggled as his shocked mom tried to take him back and he refused to let her. Greg made a little friend and he is pretty cute. We are guessing he knows a Pops when he sees one. 

Ty had a friend from school over on Sunday and despite the drizzle and cool temperatures, they played basketball and rode scooters throughout the neighborhood between video games. It was nice to finally meet the boy whose name is always mentioned in stories from school.

Ty then had a neighbor's son over for the first time since covid began and it was delightful to hear the laughter pick up right where it left off so long ago. Ty wore a Spiderman costume I didn't know he still owned and I realized how much I've missed that phase. The glimpse back to his boyhood wonder made me smile.

Erin has been selected through her internship to help pen an article for the Mayo clinic. It will be published in 2022. She is taking on the CDC and their latest screening recommendations for women's health. Sister is on fire. Despite the pain of the last few years, she is using those experiences to influence change for others. It goes without saying, we are incredibly proud of her. 

Jasper, the "mini" bernadoodle loves Ty. 

The expression on Kate's face while looking at Brennen cracks me up. I think it's the hair. Maybe. They have a bond that includes silent communication so one never knows what they are really up to when they are together. 

Greg, Kate, Ty and I went to Theresa's for Thanksgiving while Makenna and Erin went to brunch and wrote papers together. Our more intimate gathering was quiet without all our adult daughters. But Theresa makes a great hostess. All her special details were not only lovely, they were appreciated. 

This Thanksgiving was not what I would have chosen or how I would have planned but it is the Thanksgiving I was given. The small gathering missing all my adult children was beautiful in it's own way. 2021 has taught me many painful lessons of leaning into what is rather than lamenting what was supposed to be. My initial instinct was to grab a bag of salad in my sweatpants this year but instead chose family- the part I could celebrate with as the gift for which I am truly grateful. My missing people were still in touch, yet so many are missing theirs forever this side of heaven. I know first hand how difficult these holidays can be when the grief is so raw, getting out of bed is almost more than one can muster the strength to do. All my usual tactics of caring fully for the needs of others have fallen short in recent months. Eventually my own grief needs addressed. 

I just know that as I kissed Becky goodbye in January and missed her funeral in February because I was holding firm onto my daughter who was shocked by the pain of losing so much to cancer that I remembered how Becky's family skipped Thanksgiving the year prior to keep her safe and how desperately I wanted to scream but you don't know. You don't know. This may be her last and you forfeited it in the name of a guarantee you are never given. Each precious day is a gift- even if we are only given nine and each one is spent in a NICU under the buzz and glow of machines assisting in allowing those nine precious days. 

This year has been one of tremendous loss and pain and to be honest, I haven't fully accepted the lot of it. It's simply too much. But in the mornings when 3am means I'm on my second cup of tea, elbow deep in journals, exploring how God works in all my broken places, He allows me to see my intensity is quite literally too much for some. It's okay. I will use these seasons of pain, sorrow and righteous anger to heal. My prayer is I do so as gracefully as one can in the midst of chaos.

So this Thanksgiving wasn't what I imagined for myself or so many others I love, but it was the day I spent reflecting the beauty of growth and love created in the broken places.  And that's not nothing.

Kate requested Christmas decor Friday. I reluctantly agreed. Then we needed lights. Of course we did. None of our local stores had them and I'd rather lose my right arm than tackle Black Friday in town so the trees are naked. Oh well. And then she insisted the pets needed a photoshoot. She amuses me. And apparently I am easily manipulated into silly joy. PS. Pip, the hedgehog pooped and peed on me. We are not friends. He cares exactly 0%. 

Aunt Theresa sent super fun hot cocoa balls home with the kids Thursday. Baby Yoda marshmallow? How cute is that?

We redeemed the decorating fail with cookies, cocoa and Elf as a family. Ty and Kate know most of the lines and laughed clear through. It was good.