Trick-or-Treat

Kristil's dad was released from the hospital this week, no doubt because he was not a good patient. The final straw may have been the terrible yelp review he insisted needed written about the food. We love him like one loves an ornery child. He makes me laugh. Of course not being responsible for him makes it easy for me to be the one laughing. Kristil is a saint. She always has been the sweet one.

Cherie's husband has a long road ahead. His body is having a very hard time fighting the damage covid caused his lungs. He's been in ICU for nineteen days now and still remains in a chemically induced coma with intubation so he can rest. Please join me in praying he returns home to his family. 

Ty isn't the only one with new clothes for the wedding. 

Ty and I spent part of our day off together Friday shopping for clothes he can wear to a wedding next weekend. He surprised me when he said he wanted to shop rather than order something. But as it turns out, he lied. He really just wanted a Jimmy John's sandwich. Despite telling his sisters he didn't find anything in his size, he did get some basic solid pieces that will work. He wants his sisters to be surprised and impressed. They have required a warning as to the change in script because as a general rule, Ty has been the last person who would want attention for how he looks. Is this a casualty of middle school? Time will tell.

Kate has enjoyed playing with Halloween looks this week. She went to school as Wednesday Adams on Friday. She was Pennywise one evening at home simply because it was fun. She created Ty's look because I declared I was no longer buying costumes after the suitcase full was donated to a thrift store a few weeks ago. And then she selected Cruella Deville for today. She loves what she calls, Spooky Season.

Marshall from Paw Patrol and Magenta from Blues Clues went trick or treating at school this week. How cute are they? 

Erin spent the weekend with us to catch up on rest and nutrition after vomiting blood last week. She has a scope Tuesday to diagnose the issue. We suspect gastritis and possibly a bleeding ulcer. Either way, stress management, diet and lifestyle changes are necessary. 

Erin brought Ada with her for the weekend and the girls shared ice cream with the cats. Ada's energy has been a fun addition to the house that grew a bit too quiet this last month. She refused to leave with Erin this evening so we have an addition for the week.

Trick-or-treat was a success. We spent a gorgeous night on the porch talking with neighbors and friends while the kids collected more sugar than necessary. We are grateful for the relaxed evening to wrap the weekend. 

Neuroscience

Some weeks I balance life better than others. This was a tough one. A friend's husband is fighting for his life in an ICU three hours away. I want to hug her. Another friend has a parent in the hospital without a diagnosis, just a very sick father. Ty did not make the basketball team and whereas I think we likely dodged a very busy bullet, his heartbreak was rough. 

My work situation has been tense. I advocated for myself and it ruffled feathers. Speaking up is challenging for me but I was backed into a literal corner and had to make a change. Feelings were hurt and although my job description is better suited to me now, ongoing personality conflicts are likely the consequence. Life simply shouldn't be this complicated. But it is and will always be this side of heaven.

I know how much I need to seek light and recognize daily gifts. My Journaling for years has been reduced to simply noting the simple things for which I am grateful. The way light reflects iridescent on soap bubbles, the pink glow in the evening sky, the laughter of a baby in line at the grocery, the kindness of a stranger and more. This is what carries me in difficult moments. I read this week our brains have a negative bias and the way to retrain the brain is to document the positives. We can do this with photography, sketching, writing, or any other way that we personally connect with memories. So when I look back on this specific week, months from now,  I will see what we chose to put into our "Tell Me Something Good" jar. Hopefully by then, my work situation will feel relaxed and the way I feel in this moment won't be remembered as quite so heavy. Perhaps. I am not a Pollyanna but I am a mom who needs to chase light and love others well. My camera and journals ground me against what would be easy; wallowing in sadness. That said, there are going to be seasons where the grief is what I recall despite my best efforts otherwise. The week we lost Becky to cancer and Erin's hysterectomy was moved up by six weeks and I made a snap judgement to pull my son from a reading program because I lacked the headspace to properly address an issue. This was not a good week despite my desire to redeem it at the time. This year has been tough. I can't pretend otherwise; however, I can claim the redemption moments fully. They are the gifts that pull me through. My hope lies in having the discipline to seek joy through the hard days.

Ty spent a morning lecturing the cat about his choices and behavior for a solid three minutes. Fortunately I was in another room where my facial expressions could not be read because I promise that cat felt exactly zero guilt and I was amused. But the following day, Ty requested a nightstand for Oliver next to his bed. "Oliver likes to look out my window. I want to make it easier for him." We thrifted a nightstand Saturday. A five dollar table? That was an easy yes.

Kate brought home her child development robot baby for the weekend. Meet Arlo, the kid she named and has used to call me Abuela. Insert eye roll here. I laughed when she said she would have to pull over to the side of the road if the baby cried so she could deal with it and not lose points on her overall grade. If I had pulled over every time Erin cried in the car, we never would have made it out of our neighborhood. I thought this was supposed to be reality based. Kate loved the weekend until this evening.  The novelty has completely worn off so I took a rocking/bouncing shift while she wiped tears of frustration.

Lauren flew into Louisville Friday for a weekend in Indy celebrating Paige and her upcoming wedding. Living nine hours away, she has missed all the other events. Noah was off work on Friday so he picked her up for us. We were thrilled to get dinner with her tonight before she returns home in time for work Tuesday morning.

Erin was accepted into her first grad school program choice. She is proud of herself and of course we are pretty impressed with her too. She will be working toward her masters in health care administration. She says, "I will never financially recover from this." At over $900/credit hour, she may not but she is doing what she loves and I know she will achieve great things with that degree and her connections to global health programs. 

Homework with Ty has peaked with gnashing of teeth in biblical proportions. Whereas the child has not outright called us idiots, one could absolutely infer his sentiments based solely on eye rolls and sighs alone. Jesus may love us but the math teacher does not. We have a conference this week where I hope to not cry as we plead to end the drama. Please sir, just keep him with you if you must assign homework. We are tired and have paid our dues. 

Fall Break Week

I have desired a guest room for quite awhile now so when we moved Ty upstairs, his gray room with the handpainted border quickly became the guest space. I decided to roll it back to the original off white color I have throughout the rest of the house. I had no idea what I was getting into. The walls were in rough shape, requiring sanding, primer and three coats of paint. Unfortunately, there were areas needing a fourth coat and I ran of both steam and paint before achieving that goal. I decided it was good enough and cleaned up for the time being. Someday I will tackle another coat of paint but it won't be anytime too soon. That being said, the room was ready enough for our first little guests. Anna and Ava loved it and their first sleepover at our house. We made jewelry, painted, made headbands and ate snacks. It was a sweet night of memory making.

Ty's room upstairs is pretty spacious despite his "need" for a green screen and gaming section. The carpet needs replaced but I'm not brave enough to tackle that pricy item with an emerging teenager living in the space. As it stands, spills are not worth crying over and there will be spills.

Kate and I went out and about together a few times this week. She needed some fall clothes and I needed one-on-one time with Kate. On Friday though, we brought Grace along and she surprised us by walking with a walker down her driveway to my car! She smiled the whole challenging way and has set herself the lofty goal of walking exclusively by Halloween. Her therapist is suggesting Christmas as a more reasonable goal but Grace isn't yet choosing to be reasonable. We love her.

Ty spent one day with a friend and the entire week caring for our neighbor's dogs while they went to Florida. He was otherwise occupied with basketball in the driveway or Fortnite with online friends. 

Makenna ended up with covid on her honeymoon. She and Noah enjoyed most of their week together before she felt sick. By the time she had a confirmed covid test, she was in pretty bad shape. She was able to get it turned around on her own but her doctor was encouraging her to go to the ER. We checked in frequently and by Friday, it was clear she was recovering. And today, she visited for the first time since her wedding day. Her car needed some service and Greg tried to explain a process that pertained to the car and Makenna put up both hands and stated simply, "I have a dad and a husband. I don't need to know this." Just like that, he was dismissed and we all knew Makenna had recovered fully. 

Saturday evening, Ty and I met Kristin and Avry at my parent's house so my dad could explain astrophotography. Avry has been experimenting with his telescope and his mom's phone for awhile. He seemed to enjoy the visit. It was good to see everyone as we wrapped up fall break. 

Tomorrow starts a busy week. Ty is trying out for the school basketball team and Kate starts working every day after school. Lauren flies in Friday for a bachelorette weekend and I have two appointments. Makenna took a picture of our menu board this evening so I anticipate an extra place at the table too. I miss fall break already.

Fall Break Start

It's been a week and I'm still basking in the glow of simple miracles. Last weekend was amazing. We moved Makenna around a fall parade route and heavy rain forecast without incident. We then squeezed in a quick, private wedding between rain showers. On Monday, a teacher asked me to pray the rain held off until we managed a recess for one hundred squirrelly fourth graders and I laughed, "I am pretty sure that request is not one I'm allowed to make for a significant period of time." I've decided to just be grateful for what I was given. Amen. 

I spent my week as substitute teacher for a fourth grade teacher out with covid. After eight days in her classroom, I was pretty comfortable with the role. Monday morning though, I hit a post-move and wedding wall. My head was heavy, my eyes were wanting to shut and my tongue was thick. I was so tired I could have laid down right there and napped. I knew better than to let anyone know because fourth graders sense weakness, so I had the entire class stretch and move because, "you guys spend a lot of time in front of the chrome books and need to wake your bodies up." It worked but it was the kind of day I wished I'd packed an emergency Coke. 

Anne gave me flowers for my birthday and as the larger blooms wilted, I reworked the bouquet into a smaller jar and loved the little arrangement as much as the original. 

Some of my students approached another teacher with a few of his students and asked him if he has ever had covid. He let them know it was a personal question they weren't actually supposed to ask but answered that he had not. The giggly girls all but suggested he should go ahead and get it then because Mrs. Baughman is a great substitute teacher. I failed to maintain my poker face as I watched him process what they said. Kids are hilarious. And brutal.

By the end of the week, a debate broke out as a few students argued over who was my favorite. I assured them I didn't have a favorite because I didn't actually like any of them. Fourth grade is a good time because you can joke around with students and they understand. 

Grace is improving and was able to simulate walking in therapy this week. She and Kate spent two evenings together and it was so good for both of them to get out and about despite the wheelchair and stress it puts on Grace.

Kate started Fall Break without us last week and spent it babysitting for a couple families. She squeezed in a festival and football game too. She still has a little chest pain remaining in her lower left lung but has otherwise fully recovered from pneumonia. 

Greg and I slipped away for a mandatory checkup in Dayton connected to his accident twenty-one years ago. We decided to make a day of the six hour round-trip and call it a date. Things are getting desperate around here, folks. Anyway, after the three hour drive, an old man wearing sweatpants with a polo shirt and honest to goodness walking with support from a waker "evaluated" Greg's overall mental health in fifteen minutes. Welcome to the incredible efficiency of the state of Ohio and their Worker's Compensation system. This is why we gave up and started paying for treatment out of pocket years ago. It's absolutely not worth the hassle of keeping up with box checking. However, that being said, we actually had a great day. We drove an alternate route home along some gorgeous back roads and talked for hours. It ended up being worth the trip for the connecting we accomplished. 

His house is finished minus shattered appliances the builder is scrambling to replace before closing this week. We are so excited for Lauren and Taylor and can't wait to visit in a few months. 

The weekend was relaxing and we realized we went an entire week without putting out fires in our family. This is big. We ate dinners on the patio and enjoyed lengthy conversations with our kids. Fall break has been successfully kick-started.