Soar

I have control issues. I always have. I plan, l prepare and pave ways for everything to run as smoothly as possible. But as my faith grew, my children did too, right alongside me, each of them coming into their own crisis of faith. They have floundered and soared respectively. Their stories aren't exactly as I would have written them and they are all better for it. I think we live in a world where we fail to be authentically challenged in our beliefs. Too many have been born and raised, surrounded by sounding boards that look and feel exactly like them. They fear what else is out there and keep things tightly wrapped. This is how we see so much outrage over the inconsequential and fail to see the same fury over issues that matter. The world is a mess. I see the future and pray over my grandson but time and experience are fully on my side here. He too, will soar because his future is beyond me and his parents. By faith, this child will also he released into the world. He too, has the potential to be a light in darkness. 

In my early parenting years, out of insecurity, I tried desperately to keep control, keep them close and protect each of them. Then the loss of a child, the accident that changed our family's trajectory and a move showed me how very much I had to release. My girls tease I am not the same parent to Kate and Ty I was to them. They aren't wrong. You see, I grew up. This is good news. 

All of this to say my beautiful children are all soaring, in their own unique way. Erin is in service to people most would look down upon. Lauren and Taylor are moving across the ocean this fall and as much as my heart breaks, they are strong and will make a new beautiful home in paradise. Away from me. I am not okay. But seriously, how amazing is this journey? Makenna is growing stronger daily through an extremely painful experience. Whereas we are close for support, she has created a beautiful tribe that has stepped in to hold her up. No matter the outcome in her personal life, our girl will love her new students well. It's simply who she is. Kate has nine more months in our nest. She plans a life of travel after her early graduation. As she narrows her options, it is clear she has no intention of staying physically close despite our tight bond. And then there is Ty who would move out today if he could find someone willing to let him skip his final six years of public school. We certainly haven't gotten it all right in this parenting and life journey, but we are pretty darn impressed with people our children have become.

Since adding Diesel to our family almost two months ago, we have sacrificed lamps, fragile decor and coasters. Things are fairly stripped down around here. Both of my pretty blue lamps have been shattered and because his sudden-onset cases of the zoomies are so unpredictable, the gorgeous, not broken lamps at Home Goods are still at Home Goods for their own safety. I guess he is the only pretty allowed in these parts. Sigh.

Life is full of hard and beautiful moments, often at the same time. So I'm wrapping the week with Austin, my favorite beautiful. He has decided his daddy's gaming microphone is perfect for rehearsing all his favorite songs. I cannot love this more.