Birthdays

Thursday, Kate and Makenna drove to Georgia. I miss the group and love them all but having only one week off after the last few months, I chose rest over travel. Saturday, I read, napped, ate, read and napped some more. My upcoming Spring break week is planned around the hope of more days just like that. 

A neighborhood first grader rang the doorbell and asked if Kate could come out to play. She babysat for another neighbor this week and ended up with a yard full of small friends. Apparently she made an impression. Adorable.

The inside is inscribed, "survivor". Everyone cried when she opened it. 

I called Erin to wish her a happy birthday and she rushed me off the phone within seconds because she needed to keep the line available for Austin to call. It's important to know how one rates on the priority list. But she turned twenty-seven Wednesday and Greg quietly celebrated a birthday Thursday. We can't quite wrap our heads around how we are old enough for a daughter her age, nor do we understand how it happened so quickly. I guess we blinked. 

Someone is in his seat and he is not pleased.

Greg, the sacrificial one, picked all the purple Starburst jelly beans from the bowl so Ty and I were able to eat with abandon. He is a giver. 

Kate and Pip came to school with me one day this week so my fourth grade students could meet them both. Pip had a spa evening in preparation for his big day. Both did a great job and that evening, a teacher text asking about Kate's availability to babysit sometime.

Austin started soccer with his mom as the assistant coach. Rumor has it, he only likes going for the snacks. 

Austin grabbed Kate's phone to take a selfie. Not to brag, but he clearly inherited his selfie skills from his Mimi. Goodness, I love this boy.

School Dances

 

Kate had a blast spending time with friends at her first high school dance. I loved chauferring the four teens from dinner to the dance so I could snap a few photos and hear the banter between them. 

Ty not only attended his first ever school dance, but he also had his first "date". He bought M&Ms to share with her and reports they spent the whole time talking. I have to say, I totally misjudged his interest in girls. I was certain he would be a Senior in high school before noticing a special girl. He has a lot of estrogen in his world. But perhaps being down to just one sister in his house explains how this has happened. He and Kate, after all, are pretty good friends most of the time and she does not mother him at all. The older girls were constantly hovering and he hated it. 

Sunday afternoons have become charcuterie board moments. We always make a large meal after church but want something later. This makes the perfect snack and given how much Erin loves it, her weekly visit day is ideal for indulging. 

The long-awaited surgical consultation was as frustrating as the entire experience has been for the past two months. The nurse practitioner walked into the room unaware I've had two biopsies and had no idea what gynocomastic density meant on my pathology report because "it only impacts young men". There is a strong chance she read cuss words in my eyes. I was not nice. I explained that nothing about that was acceptable. I've had way too many circular conversations the last two weeks with her office that sounded exactly like the start of that appointment. I need to know if this is something I can ignore, something I need to monitor or something I need removed. She could not answer that for me. I am angry and frustrated. She did call me an hour after my appointment and said the surgeon says I can ignore it follow-up with another mammogram in January. 

On one hand, I want benign findings and everything to be normal. On the other hand, I don't trust them to have a clue as to what is best for me since none of them are taking the time to understand what this means in my body. 

I am stepping away from it for a season for mental health reasons and Erin is working with the doctor she supports to see what answers she can gather and a recommendation for a second opinion. For the time being, I am healthy and moving forward with a stack of medical bills and a renewed distrust of the medical profession. 

Piper has no idea she should fear Oliver. Fortunately, he is equally curious about her and with close monitoring, they co-exist well.

Signs of spring have sprung. We are outside most every afternoon and evening for porch swing sitting, nerf gun wars and games of HORSE. Ty was smacked by a wing of a momma bird on her way out of her nest as he swept the porch for me. It's difficult to tell who was more frightened, Ty or the bird but I'm looking forward to hearing the babies soon. Momma is just going to have to get used to us sharing the porch. 

The week was long and we are all tired. Kate kicked off spring break Friday but Ty and I have another week before we get some time off. We most likely will make it. Maybe. 

Austin is 4!

Guess who started soccer this week. I mean, how cute is this?

Our favorite little man turned four on Monday and he eagerly tells anyone who will listen about the stranger who gave him balloons when Mommy was in the shower. As it turns out, his Gran had them delivered. He insisted we all sing happy birthday from our own homes since showing up for cake that evening was out of the question. Lauren and Taylor, God love them, put each family on dual calls on multiple devices so his birthday song would feel complete. Lauren accused us all of being responsible for his expectation and roared when he turned his fan club into the tiny picture on all the devices so he could more fully admire himself. Goodness, we adore this kid. 

This is our dating life at the moment. Coffee and tea in the car while we wait on Kate to wrap up teaching preschoolers gymnastics. It's pretty glamorous. 

After several frustrating points of contact, I am finally seeing the surgeon Tuesday for a conversation about next steps. Whereas we know the abnormal tissue is not malignant, it is also a rare situation. As it turns out, this kind of abnormality is usually found in young men. I am neither of those things; young or male. I'm curious to see what the specialist recommends and am relieved the discussion is finally scheduled. 

Kate got to skip Spanish class to check out fighter helicopters that came to visit the ROTC students this week. She loved it and after messaging the family with threats of enlisting, our awesome son-in-law sent photos from his basic training induction and a strong warning. 

Kate babysat a lot, dress shopped for a dance and had a good laugh at her mother's expense. The dress is the only new item added to her week. Apparently I am cheap entertainment but when she complained about knee pain, I held up my hand and ordered her to stop, "I am all done now. I am not taking any further complaints. Go with God." She fell over laughing and started frantically texting. I asked who she was telling about my thoughtful parenting and she laughed, "everyone." Fantastic. 

Ava drew a portrait of me and Greg. She decided he should have spiky hair. As it turns out, he at one time did have spiky hair and I have evidence that delighted Ava.

Last Saturday looked vastly different than this Saturday. We had friends over for dinner and sat on the deck all day. Today, by contrast was a windy high of 25 brutal degrees. Wake me when it's over.

The boy has a school dance next week and he is not delighted by the prospect. However, as he is quickly learning, a girlfriend means he gets to attend dances anyway. 

Once again, proud of Erin. 

Ash Wednesday

The house was ignored and my people were hungry but the sun was shining so I held down my porch swing a few afternoons this week. My soul was heavy and needed the light besides, late dinner around dusty floors is better than no dinner at all, I convinced myself. 

As Ash Wednesday approached this week, I sat in moment after moment of ache and grief. This life, after all, is one that lives in the knowledge we are all in the process of dying, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We just don't often sit in that awareness. We faced another biopsy, war broke out in unfathomable ways, a student was abused, and another lost in an accident. After six very long weeks and two painful biopsies, I am still waiting for concrete information. Facing a potential breast cancer diagnosis is anything but easy and waiting is brutal.  I have been researching how to support my family while they care for me. Is this helpful? Maybe. But seeking a husband's perspective of mastectomy helps me pass time; so much time. And then I return to the daily work of laundry, meal planning and homework assistance. It's the way I cope, plan and move forward because in this life, I only get to control my response and even then, barely. I know I am not alone in feeling like I've been in an endless Lent. The collective world is exhausted. 

Kate is ready to have her license and after the last few weeks of running her all over town, I think I may be ready as well. But while we wait on available appointments with the always busy DMV, she cruises the neighborhood with her brother, her trusty side-kick, as if gas isn't four dollars a gallon. Secretly, I love seeing them happy to spend time together no matter how expensive. 

They're growing much closer, these two and spend most every evening relaxing in one of their rooms together. The giggles last beyond bedtime but it's so worth it. 

The boy has a girlfriend. His first. She has a last name but he can't remember it. I asked how this came to be and it turns out, his friend emailed her during study hall and asked. Surprised, I asked if he has spoken to this young lady yet. Not recently but he plans to soon. So it's pretty serious. 

Both Kate and Ty have school dances this month and we are excited to see them experience something normal after all this time in pandemic mode. Ty wasn't planning to attend but found out a little too late that having a girlfriend indicates he will be going anyway. Middle school has so little amusement to offer so I'm enjoying this moment enough for both of us. 

A sweet friend from our exceptional learner's class made me an important list. "How to make the world a better place" is not exhaustive but I did in fact need the reminder of number seven. Kidnapping is wrong despite warranted circumstances.