Savoring

Today I had a picnic with my favorite seven year old in the school parking lot. She wrote me a note in her journal last week and her teacher made sure I was aware it said, "Dear Mom, I miss you. I wish I was in your class. I wish I could give you a hug every day. Please eat lunch with me. Love, Kate". It took some maneuvering of schedules but it went on the calendar for today and sister was beaming.

I needed it too. I went into this position with idealistic goals of more time with my kids and the ability to connect with them throughout the day. I am far more isolated than I ever would have envisioned. It's lonely and the days are long. It's almost torturous to be so close and yet, not be able to see my kiddos. Today, even more than usual, I needed my family close.

I started my day at 4 am with a call from my mom letting me know my beautiful grandmother was hours away from meeting Jesus. Whereas there is rejoicing in heaven and a reunion with my grandpa, I am incredibly sad I didn't get one last hug and kiss. Rest in peace, Grandma. I love you.