Week Ten

Mr. Rogers suggested in times of struggle, to look for the helpers. It's excellent advice. We had significant support with clean up efforts last weekend; we literally couldn't have taken care of some details without assistance. It restored my view of mankind and reminded me to remember where to take the temperature of the world. It's not as bad as some would have us believe. Ty and I made cookies Sunday to thank neighbors we hadn't met before they were helping us in the middle of a wind storm. 

Monday Ty had a vision exam while Kate worked and Greg was held up on a job site. So Ty and I slipped off for cauliflower crust pizza together. He mentioned a few times how much he enjoyed the time and wished we did it more. He willingly took a photo! Having individual time is his favorite and I'm the lucky one. PS. We will do more of this.

The spring air has ushered in numerous games of HORSE or PIG in the driveway. He loves trick shots from the neighbor's yard. Sigh. 

We navigated a big decision as a family the last few weeks. One teacher and our son's enthusiasm about a substitute teacher who explained material being read in class were the deciding factors. Ty has always struggled with anxiety in school. Starting in kindergarten, our quiet guy would walk in the door from school and roll on the floor crying for twenty minutes to unload the day's stress. As he aged, he found less dramatic ways to respond but always held it together at school. Last year, he started breaking out in hives each weekday morning and often vomited as well. This year we started medication to assist him. He has support he is supposed to be receiving at school and several teachers have been more than resistant to honor that legally binding agreement. Ty is not a problem child, a disruptive student or even one that wants acknowledged in any way at school but somehow became the target of a few teachers. We tried conferences, phone calls, emails and discussions with the principal who was supportive. But in the end, enough was enough. Ty came home for school this week. We are attempting a homeschool schedule around my job for these last nine weeks to see how it goes. Ty wants this little endeavor to succeed and has promised to hold up his end of the bargain. I've committed to a nine week period of homeschool to buy us time and the opportunity to explore options. So far, he has set some reasonable goals and one I'm not so sure I can support. He has a fascination with the weather and wants to better understand how severe weather forms. However, he'd also like to try storm chasing. 😳 Pray for me.

On his final school day, he placed third in the derby pine car race in his science and technology class. He was pretty pleased with his car.

I spent a fair amount of time exploring how my heart and body entwine. When I lost my babies years ago, my body would cling in desperation to those babies despite all evidence of their passing; one ending in a dramatic ambulance ride and need for blood. My heart would not accept the reality of the loss and therefore my body provided a stubborn womb to shelter from the obvious. Of course, by contrast, this same womb held Makenna safely inside days beyond what should have been possible while Greg had surgery and my heart desired to be at his bedside before her arrival. Walking around dilated for four days at 7cm is not normal. My heart and body have always been connected.

Mid afternoon texts from my son now look like this. It's so much better than the pleas for escape from school I used to receive.

And so I am processing what I am holding these days......so much compassion for kids at work, children with cancer within our circle, decisions that will impact our home and future, a daughter homesick on a island I can't reach and the futures our daughters as a whole are navigating. Whereas I am so much better about holding onto only the things that are mine to carry, I still haven't fully released the list and it looks like weekly migraines right now. Either that or it's a brain tumor and perhaps maybe that it also on the list.......

I wondered if I could leave the guest room door open again. Diesel was here. Why is he like this?

This week's school highlight is brought to you by a precocious six year old. As I was attempting to write a sentence on the white board with kindergarten, gymnastics was taking place on the rug so I pulled out my rarely used firm voice. I explained I was frustrated with this particular group and sent them back to class. What they didn't know, was it was the end of their time with me anyway but fear of facing their teachers with the early release due to behavior had one ornery little girl stopping the teacher I support in the hallway, "you may want to check on Mrs. Baughman. She seems frustrated today." When questioned if she had any idea why, the little stinker and her partners in crime shrugged. Thank God it's Friday, y'all.