Christmas 2022

We canceled Christmas Eve when we still didn't have power and roads from Kentucky were treacherous. The rescheduled date eliminated Theresa and her family and also Erin. I was more than a little disappointed. Add the whole no gift thing we all agreed to and the weekend felt anything but Christmasy. But we found humor in the ridiculous and even made a card we failed to send out. Winter coats in the house is a unique card idea, none the less. I'm still finding ways to honor both sadness and joy living in the same moments. I'm not a "everything happens for a reason" kind of person nor am I inclined to paint silver linings on dark clouds. But disregarding the joy that dwells in the same space is ignoring the hope I also carry. Balance, they say, is the key. Where do I locate that? 

We were well loved on by friends with the delivery of a kerosene heater and so many offers to stay in warm homes. We had frozen water lines and between keeping watch on those and a house full of animals, we didn't feel like leaving was the right choice. We weren't comfortable but it wasn't dangerous, unlike our homeless population. That group remained on my heart all weekend. 

The dog decided he was too precious for the outdoor bathroom and left several opportunities for the floor to be mopped. I'm not in any way impressed with him. He cares not at all. 

Kate's phone went off by 8:30 Christmas morning because the kids she babysits couldn't wait any longer to share their excitement with her. Their relationship is pretty special. And our grandson schooled me on all things Pokemon as he shared his Christmas morning loot. I hope there isn't a quiz later. He then had to pack toys for the move and won't see them again for a few months. 

Kenna came to spend time with us on Christmas Day and thought she'd nap. Diesel assumed he was invited. Of course he did. 

He was literally sleeping like this until I moved to take his picture.

While they napped, Greg reinstalled the smoke detectors that went off at one o'clock in the morning Christmas Eve because we still didn't have power. Nothing silenced them so they were literally pulled out of the ceiling in desperation. And then the closet shelving system that collapsed just before we left for Christmas Eve service was rehung. The day wasn't a total loss of typical Christmas joy though. We bundled up and took off for our annual Christmas Light Scavenger Hunt and even enticed our friends in Texas to join us at the end. 

We called it at the half hour mark and took Kenna home. I'm glad she joined us for this low key Christmas day. Diesel is too.

And then. Monday we hosted the delayed Christmas Eve dinner, minus several guests. We were the crazy people shoveling a path to the grill when it was single digits to make this happen after a false start just two days prior. But steak and crab are the tradition and there would be a serious revolt if I deviated. I may never be forgiven for scaling back the carb-heavy side dishes at Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, Mom and Dad went with me to help Makenna organize her classroom. Dad and I made a pretty good team in her storage closet. Mom took down the tree and Makenna worked on second semester lesson plans. It was fun to see what she has implemented since I was last there helping her prepare for the first semester. 

The first of Erin's multiple health clinics in Zanzibar. She is spending her time studying, job shadowing and eating really well. She was most excited about the food when preparing for her trip.

Erin video chatted through Instagram from her gorgeous hotel room in Zanzibar. She was enjoying  eighty five sunny degrees and incredible accomodations. Meanwhile, Lauren was entertaining Austin out of the way of the movers. Their beautiful home is now empty and clean. And also, no longer theirs. It was a pretty rough week for our girl. I'm praying Hawaii is good to them. 

Wednesday, Diesel and I slipped out for a walk in sunshine. Neither of us could quite believe it. He kept looking over his shoulder as if to ask, "is this real?" We needed it. 

I panicked when I cleaned up his poo off my floor and realized I didn't smell it. The subsequent covid test was negative so I text Greg. He replied, "That dog knows his sh*t doesn't stink!" 😂

Thursday I washed a few windows and took the opportunity to air out the house a bit. Open windows for a few minutes at a time is always a good idea when the air outside is a balmy 50 in December. It was good for my soul.

We wrapped the week without jackets, daily walks and games of basketball in the driveway. We are grateful for the lot of it. 

Nineteen

"Mary treasured these things and pondered them in her heart" Luke 2:19

I've been toying with this verse a lot this season. What mother cannot relate? In all of motherhood, from the birth of our baby to each trial they overcome or success they achieve, we feel deeply as though part of our hearts have the audacity to walk around outside our bodies. We keep these sweet memories tucked away and they often surface in moments unexpected. 

This week held Ryan's nineteenth birthday. I'm okay, just remembering the way he felt in my arms and his perfect little grip around Greg's pinky. At just shy of two pounds, he had no idea he was not in charge; therefore, would have fit in perfectly around here. 

Historically, our what ifs were born of sadness but we've crossed the threshold. It wasn't supposed to be. I trust God prevented our son a lifetime of pain. His death was mercy, even if it broke me. 

We've seen Lauren, Taylor and Austin for the last time in person until June 2024 when we fly to Hawaii to visit them. The hand life has dealt them lately has been bumpy at best. Lauren stayed near a friend in an extremely difficult position while she simultaneously managed a move, Christmas prep and a young sister in-law in serious condition this week. She also delivered a friend's baby in her car! She says she may have found her calling, minus the whole mess in the car part. She is a rock star.

Erin leaves for Africa at four in the morning on Christmas Day. We get to keep her cat. Sigh. Whereas we are incredibly proud of our kids, watching them soar is not without some trepidation. They are making their way in this crazy world. Without us. The nerve. 

Mary, the mother of our savior knew all too well the pain of watching her child serve a larger purpose. Thank God, literally, for His peace. 

Greg and I enjoyed a delightful night out with friends. This absolutely beat running errands and calling it a date. Chris and Kristin drove down to spend the night with us before we all boarded a dinner train in Bardstown, Kentucky. The two and a half hour meal was comfortable and delicious. The company was pretty sweet too.

Ty made pizelles for his girlfriend and I swiped several for coworkers. This is his favorite Christmas tradition and no one is mad about it. 

His life is so hard. Despite offering a variety of toys, no one played with him.

Erin brought Ada over to prepare her for the upcoming long stay. Diesel is really upset Ada doesn't want to play with him. 

Our hilarious grandson was counting days until Christmas on the calendar while video chatting with us. Once he was finished, he turned the page and commented, "then we all go to heaven because there are no more days." Bewildered, Lauren assured him it just meant they got a new calendar. I roared. Anyone else remember Y2K?

Our annual Christmas Light Scavenger Hunt challenge was canceled when the weather changed dramatically. We still video chatted with our friends while sipping hot cocoa. We may take our list out Christmas night since the day will be super low key here. But seriously, this cold front is anything but welcome. 

We spent the day without power (heat!) and battling a flare. It's been so long since I last had one, I believed at first I was getting the flu. I guess the upside is our Christmas Eve gathering doesn't have to be canceled. But for the love, it was a brutal day. 

Balance

These sweet babies were serving me tea and cake during church Sunday. We'd just met and I officially adore them 

The week was rough. Unbeknownst to me, I was in the throws of a reaction to an antibiotic. My heart raced, my hands shook and my mind swirled for days before it occurred to me what was new in my routine. The rash that later appeared solidified my suspicion. Put that on top of sugar coated children bouncing off the walls and an emergency in my son-in-law's family meant we juggled chaos and big feelings most of the week. 

But the family situation brought my girl home for a few days and the energy our grandson brings with her is absolute light. He holds my heart firmly in his hands. He knows this. 

He also brought his elf, to the delight of Kate who has always desired one of her very own. Her mom is terrible. But she had a blast setting up scenes for Buddy. Austin was amused when Mimi pretended to be afraid of the elf that stalked him across multiple state lines.

This is what high quality writing looks like, according to the child who had two weeks to write two essays. He chose the morning of the due date to write them both. I'm going to need to spike that tea before we get the heck out of middle school.

Ty scored a day out of school for a mid day CT scan of his wrist. Our bridge is closed and it's causing double commutes for anyone needing to be in Louisville. Add the inability to eat before the scan, and it was just best for everyone to give us both the day off. But holy traffic jams, Batman. This season is a mess without cutting off a main highway. He weathered the day fairly well but when he lamented the free sample of chicken broth at Costco, I knew he was fading fast! We get his results next week during a follow up with the surgeon.

A friend's son performed in White Christmas at our local dinner theater so we skipped traditional Bible study for a field trip Tuesday. We were out way past my bedtime but it was absolutely worthwhile. I love these women. 

Kenna needed a shirt for an ugly Christmas sweater contest. She allowed her students to create this original work of art. She left "ugly" out of her description when proposing it to her favorite four year olds. One of them insisted she call me for my reaction. Of course, I was blown away by the talent. Miss Makenna is a pretty sweet teacher.

A set of twins in kindergarten gave me an ornament and body wash from Bath and Body this week. The next day, one of them was sniffing up and down my arm. When questioned he declared he needed to know if I'd used my new soap yet. Busted. Count on five year olds to call you out. Every time. 

We met the Baughmans half way to Dayton last Saturday and called it Christmas. I'm grateful for the simplicity after so many years of hoop jumping to make someone else's vision come true. This is Kate with Brad's oldest, Lizzie. This was also the only picture taken. Sigh.

Thursday evening, Ty surprised his girlfriend by showing up at her basketball game. They barely spoke, avoided eye contact and were as awkward as one would expect in a seventh grade relationship. It made me smile. 

This guy keeps swiping candy canes off the tree. He thinks he needs minty breath.

Tonight, Taylor joined us for dinner. I'm grateful he views our home as a reprieve from the hospital and stress associated with his family situation right now. He really does feel like a son to us. Lauren, in lamenting the need to be both at home managing the move and here to support Taylor confessed she needs to control just one thing. I laughed, "I'm really sorry you inherited that from your dad." (Insert sarcastic smirk here.)