Saturday, October 13, 2012

Honesty

We hosted a bonfire for the kids and their friends last night. Having such diverse age groups represented in our home presents some challenges in finding family friendly activities for everyone. We tackled this one by inviting younger kids and families to join us for dinner until the typical bedtime. The teens brought their friends after attending the football game. As much as I would love to have them all at the same time, it is probably best to keep the teens in their own time slot as they don't always have filters and say things that are perfectly acceptable to say at 16 that may not be as acceptable at 7. It was a beautiful evening, we all enjoyed ourselves and it was needed after the week we've had. I wish I could say fall break was the relaxing break we needed but I would be lying. I've been fighting sinus symptoms for two solid weeks now, convincing myself they will go away if I ignore them long enough. This would be my typical approach to all things medical. But by yesterday, it was clear things were progressing, not improving so off the the walk-in clinic I went, knowing full and well I would come home on an antibiotic. Ugh. I am grateful they exist but really don't like taking them.
The football game was a "pink out" and all ticket sales were given to breast cancer research. FC lost by one point in overtime. The kids say it was a great game.

After the dryer incident with Kate this week, she had difficulty sleeping and has been pretty grumpy. I can't blame her but going on very little sleep myself because Ty has also been running a fever off and on this week and not resting well left me with very little patience for it all. I feel horrible even admitting it but I found myself irritated more easily and ready to hide with tea somewhere quiet. I treasure my kids and know how quickly these days pass. I don't want to take any day for granted but the total accumulation of issues this week left me depleted.
This girl makes me crazy! She licked the jug of fruit punch so no one else would drink it!

The goal was catching marshmallows on fire. He didn't actually want to eat them.

Lauren attended a birthday party for a classmate Thursday night. I felt uneasy allowing her to go. She went to this girls' party last year and noted the mother made her uncomfortable with the way she glared at everyone and didn't interact. I questioned why she would want to go again and she said more of her friends were going and they would have fun no matter what. I can't explain it further but just didn't feel settled. Greg called after dropping her off at the party and said he wasn't comfortable leaving her there because it appeared to be a rough area. We were both texting Lauren, questioning her comfort level, which of her friends were there, etc. The party was supposed to end at midnight. We'd already said 11 was late enough but after Greg dropped her off, I decided 10:30 was best. She agreed but texted at just before 10 and said some girl just hit her and she wanted me to get her immediately. It took me twenty minutes to get there and I called Greg to meet me, even though it meant he'd have to leave work for a little while. We've never had to do that in all the years he's been there so I was fairly certain it would be okay. He needed to be there. I am so glad he was. He took the bull by the horns, so to speak and made sure things were handled assertively and calmly. His demeanor was exactly what the situation needed. I would have taken Lauren home just to get out of there. Greg asked for an explanation from the parental chaperones and was offered none. He asked if the girl's parents had been called and then insisted that call take place immediately. He handled the phone call with that parent and determined the police needed to be called as well.

Lauren went to the party with her friend Dylan and his friend Dalton. Lauren and Dylan have been friends for over a year and we carpool with his family. She was dancing with a group of kids, including Dylan and Dalton when a girl she doesn't know, who is new to the school walked up to her and asked her if she was trying to make her mad (language cleaned up a bit). Lauren asked her what she was talking about and she repeated her question. Lauren was confused and again asked what she was upset about. She apparently had dated Dylan for a week or so and was mad Lauren was dancing with him. Lauren laughed it off stating they were good friends and she had nothing to worry about and even invited her to join them. Hailey acted like she was going to walk away so Lauren turned her back to her to go back to dancing when Hailey grabbed her from behind and punched her in the forehead. Lauren was shocked and walked away. Hailey's friends held her back and were yelling at her for doing it. Within seconds, Lauren was grabbed from behind a second time and hit. This time she said she turned, swinging but Hailey grabbed her shirt and pulled it down. Lauren knelt down quickly to avoid being exposed and was hit again as she slipped. Several people took Hailey outside and a parent from the party drove her around to allow her to cool off. When we arrived, they acted like they had no idea what had happened and had already sent this girl back into the party!

This girl was dancing as the police arrived, admitted everything and had no remorse. Lauren is fine but was shaken. She is concerned about school on Monday but we've already made the school aware and they will be intervening first thing Monday morning. Greg and I are both upset with ourselves for ignoring our initial instincts about this birthday party. We have no reason not to trust our daughter but just as this situation revealed, our kids aren't the only ones we have to trust. When Greg called the police, a parent from the party rounded up a van load of teens and drove them away. It was something we noted but didn't really think about until later. Once we were in a state of reflection, rather then reaction it occurred to us there was a lot more going on at that party than initially understood and the parents were fully aware. We've talked with Lauren, who was clueless about the extra activities about being more aware of her surroundings and using our code word text to be rescued from situations she isn't comfortable. She wasn't uncomfortable until the attack which again reiterates that we were negligent allowing her to be there. Once we talked with a few locals and the police officer we were warned that we were in a really bad area of Louisville and should NEVER be there. Thank God this was the only incident and our daughter walked away relatively unscathed. Lessons learned.

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