Walking in Sunshine

It's been a rough week. One kid has been treated poorly in a situation beyond her control, another is facing serious changes with difficult decisions, the roof needs replaced, the dog has some health issues and we have to complete family discussions about biopsies. I had uncomfortable dental work that could lead to a root canal, one of the extra kiddos was sick and grumpy all week, one of my kids spent days battling a migraine, and the spring to-do list isn't shrinking. Nothing we are facing is devastating yet the feelings are overwhelming. I have been tearful for days and finally ran out of the energy to weep Thursday night.

I have countless commitments during the week and spend my weekends catching up on life so my reading, quiet time and creative outlets have all been ignored. I know better than to put myself so far down the priority list, yet it happens in seasons like this.

There was a time I would deny myself the tears. It seemed weak to admit I cried in the shower on the hard days so I could pull myself together for my family. But I have learned over time (a lot of time), leaning into the sadness and being honest about my emotions is healthy. And after I sit in that moment, it's time to choose happiness and gratitude. Sometimes that choice needs action.

I drive by this gorgeous field every week on my way to bible study. I have thought many times about pulling over for photos but felt a bit silly. Tonight though, the week's tension had mounted to the point of ugliness in the form of my short fuse and lack of patience with my family so I needed to walk in sunshine. Greg agreed as he cleaned up dinner so I could escape with my camera while the lighting was still promising. Then Kate, sweet Kate who is always up for an adventure hopped into the van. Sometimes I need a side-kick.

We were immersed in sunshine and joy instantly; the pursuit so worthwhile. I am restored. None of my situations have changed but my perspective has. Sometimes it's healthy to walk in the flowers toward needed light.