Week Eleven

This old barn near my house brings me considerable joy. Every spring daffodils bloom in the shape of a cross and I look forward to it annually. A coworker who grew up in this town told me that cross was planted in the 60's and the descendants of that property owner freshen up old bulbs periodically. 

The weekend was rejuvenating. Kate bought her first car. Greg and I grabbed warm beverages and ran errands together. I hung out with Anna and Ava for a few hours, playing games and painting. Kate and I taught pre-k Sunday school together and laughed at the antics of four year olds. Then both Erin and Makenna visited for lunch. It was good. 

We laughed that Home Depot doesn't have cup holders in their carts. It's almost like they don't know they are a date destination.

Diesel can't decide who to snuggle with when the girls visit. He loves them all so much. I appreciate the break because generally speaking, I am his person.

Replacing a brake light bulb before running to the BMV. She loves this little car so I was shocked when she called me laughing the FIRST day she drove it to school because someone backed into it. There was no damage but she literally sat in her parking spot, waiting on the lot to disperse so nothing would happen to it and got bumped anyway. Isn't that just the way life goes sometimes?

The week was bumpy and wore me out. I ended with a horrible arthritis flare that also encompassed muscles from head to toe. The joints alone were bad enough but the muscle pain took it to a whole new level of awful. It was the first of it's kind in many years. I hope at least another decade passes before I endure another. I'm still pretty run down but feel the fog of the flare lifting. It's been a rough couple of days. 

While we experience yet another cold front with damp, windy air, Lauren is hiking and swimming. Pray for her. 

Week Ten

Mr. Rogers suggested in times of struggle, to look for the helpers. It's excellent advice. We had significant support with clean up efforts last weekend; we literally couldn't have taken care of some details without assistance. It restored my view of mankind and reminded me to remember where to take the temperature of the world. It's not as bad as some would have us believe. Ty and I made cookies Sunday to thank neighbors we hadn't met before they were helping us in the middle of a wind storm. 

Monday Ty had a vision exam while Kate worked and Greg was held up on a job site. So Ty and I slipped off for cauliflower crust pizza together. He mentioned a few times how much he enjoyed the time and wished we did it more. He willingly took a photo! Having individual time is his favorite and I'm the lucky one. PS. We will do more of this.

The spring air has ushered in numerous games of HORSE or PIG in the driveway. He loves trick shots from the neighbor's yard. Sigh. 

We navigated a big decision as a family the last few weeks. One teacher and our son's enthusiasm about a substitute teacher who explained material being read in class were the deciding factors. Ty has always struggled with anxiety in school. Starting in kindergarten, our quiet guy would walk in the door from school and roll on the floor crying for twenty minutes to unload the day's stress. As he aged, he found less dramatic ways to respond but always held it together at school. Last year, he started breaking out in hives each weekday morning and often vomited as well. This year we started medication to assist him. He has support he is supposed to be receiving at school and several teachers have been more than resistant to honor that legally binding agreement. Ty is not a problem child, a disruptive student or even one that wants acknowledged in any way at school but somehow became the target of a few teachers. We tried conferences, phone calls, emails and discussions with the principal who was supportive. But in the end, enough was enough. Ty came home for school this week. We are attempting a homeschool schedule around my job for these last nine weeks to see how it goes. Ty wants this little endeavor to succeed and has promised to hold up his end of the bargain. I've committed to a nine week period of homeschool to buy us time and the opportunity to explore options. So far, he has set some reasonable goals and one I'm not so sure I can support. He has a fascination with the weather and wants to better understand how severe weather forms. However, he'd also like to try storm chasing. 😳 Pray for me.

On his final school day, he placed third in the derby pine car race in his science and technology class. He was pretty pleased with his car.

I spent a fair amount of time exploring how my heart and body entwine. When I lost my babies years ago, my body would cling in desperation to those babies despite all evidence of their passing; one ending in a dramatic ambulance ride and need for blood. My heart would not accept the reality of the loss and therefore my body provided a stubborn womb to shelter from the obvious. Of course, by contrast, this same womb held Makenna safely inside days beyond what should have been possible while Greg had surgery and my heart desired to be at his bedside before her arrival. Walking around dilated for four days at 7cm is not normal. My heart and body have always been connected.

Mid afternoon texts from my son now look like this. It's so much better than the pleas for escape from school I used to receive.

And so I am processing what I am holding these days......so much compassion for kids at work, children with cancer within our circle, decisions that will impact our home and future, a daughter homesick on a island I can't reach and the futures our daughters as a whole are navigating. Whereas I am so much better about holding onto only the things that are mine to carry, I still haven't fully released the list and it looks like weekly migraines right now. Either that or it's a brain tumor and perhaps maybe that it also on the list.......

I wondered if I could leave the guest room door open again. Diesel was here. Why is he like this?

This week's school highlight is brought to you by a precocious six year old. As I was attempting to write a sentence on the white board with kindergarten, gymnastics was taking place on the rug so I pulled out my rarely used firm voice. I explained I was frustrated with this particular group and sent them back to class. What they didn't know, was it was the end of their time with me anyway but fear of facing their teachers with the early release due to behavior had one ornery little girl stopping the teacher I support in the hallway, "you may want to check on Mrs. Baughman. She seems frustrated today." When questioned if she had any idea why, the little stinker and her partners in crime shrugged. Thank God it's Friday, y'all.

Week Nine

Sunday night's sunset was incredible.

Ty's science and technology class had him creating a pinewood derby car. He brought it home last weekend for some custom touches. He wanted it to resemble a Bugatti Chiron. The boy says this is his dream car, although he says he is okay "to start with a cheap car like a Camero when (he) turns sixteen." He's new here. 

Monday my coworker gifted me with a chai tea to kick start what will be several long weeks of testing and Read Across America. Then we parted ways for the foreseeable future, as we have separate roles for most of the this month and next. Spring is weird in public schools.

Sunset from the bible study porch was stunning.

Tuesday at Bible study I held a three pound puppy and was completely distracted. He obeyed commands and I couldn't help but think it wouldn't matter much if he didn't. How much trouble could he possibly cause compared the the beast in my house?  

Both Diesel and I enjoy the glimpses of spring and warmer temperatures. He has resumed his post as neighborhood guard dog when he isn't escaping to find friends. My phone rang twice recently, "is this Diesel's mom?" Sigh. 

Wednesday I took a planned day off to meet Kristil, who was in Indy for a few days from Cleveland. Kate and Ty lamented my day off, as they both assumed they deserved it more. Ty, the less eloquent of the two actually quipped that all I do is sit around talking to kids all day. I obviously didn't need a day to recover from that. 🤨 He's sweet. But the day was absolutely gorgeous and the company so very welcomed. 

After dinner, Greg and Ty played HORSE while Kate cheered, or called her brother a HOR until the elusive S was scored. The neighbors hate us. I held down the porch swing and drank in the fresh air and laughter. It was such a restorative day. 

When we play basketball, Diesel gets an old football to keep him from stealing the ball. He has his own basketball too but prefers the football. 

Thursday we learned we all scored a day off on Friday due to severe weather forecasts. I debated the merits of deep cleaning my house for a bit before ultimately deciding that wasting this time cleaning would be dumb if we got a tornado. Surface clean will suffice once again. 

Daddy's home!

The cancellation of school on Friday was disappointing though. We had quite a bit planned for Read Across America and guests who may or may not be able to reschedule. However, a day to collect our bearings at home is never a bad idea either. It is what it is. As it turns out, we are processing a significant decision surrounding Ty's education and needed some time to gather information. The day off was a gift after all. 

My AC unit was here.....and the next round of wind stripped some of this siding. What a mess.

By the late afternoon, I was grateful for neighbors who jumped in to help me get our trampoline off the neighbor's fence. We opted to leave someone else's trampoline wedged between our house and fence so it wouldn't do any further damage. It had already knocked over our AC unit. This weather was no joke. 

Erin is wearing her trusty headlamp and at one point, flipped it on while declaring she had an idea. She cracks me up.

We were without power so we made dinner charcuterie to sustain us. A card game of Like U by candlelight kept us laughing and talking for hours. The mess will still be here tomorrow; however, the evening was pretty decent despite the challenges of the day. 

Week Eight

Daffodils are blooming! Spring is coming! Erin and I held down my porch swing while we discussed life, menopause and cute spring dresses for hours Sunday. We needed a blanket across our bodies but the heavy dose of vitamin D was necessary. 

Our weekend was restful around another eleven hour migraine. This is the seventh in two months. I am researching possible connections but fear the need to invest in medical support sooner rather than later. 

Friends had us over twice for meals and we spent the weekend laughing as result. Diesel was invited to one and spent over three hours exhausting the young Aussie Shepherds that lived there. Apparently this is not easy to do. Diesel has skills. 🤨 The math on this is One Diesel can wear out Two Aussies. 

Little man has been begging for a haircut since they arrived on the island but at $35 for a Great Clips experience that is often Not Great, Lauren has hesitated. He could not smile any bigger though so I guess it was a good investment.

Lauren says the dust has mostly settled from the move. She has a laundry room she tries not to look in as it is likely to crumble. The downsizing has been more brutal than she initially anticipated. Having cupboards not tall enough to stand a cup inside has created some organizational challenges. So she often closes the door and heads to the beach instead. Living in paradise has it's perks. 

Tuesday I lamented how long the week had been. On Tuesday. Like, the second day of the week. Lord help me. The kids were wild and I needed to pull eighty of them through assessments. It was not a good time. But there were some redeeming moments and I celebrated hard as a few of our kiddos accomplished awesome goals. There is a good reason I put myself through this insanity. But my energy simply didn't match the challenge this week. And for the first time ever, I put myself in timeout in the library for five minutes while I took deep breaths. This was a much better option than losing my mind on a rowdy group of second graders. Thank God for the librarian.

I hosted the entire yearbook club today for the digital reveal. The kids cheered and clapped for one another as each page was presented. I was surprised by their reaction and loved every second of it. I'm pretty proud of them. 

Ty, the boy who represented Homeless Spiderman for years and who thought until very recently that multiple shades of the same color matched, had a meltdown before school this week because he had nothing to wear. I have to admit, I never saw that one coming. It was the day I arrived at work later than usual; caffeinated and medicated. 

I just completed my eighth book of the year and the slower pace has been a challenge for me. I prefer to constantly have my nose in  book. The latest memoir A Beautiful Terrible Thing shook me with it's timing about a marriage involving a narcissistic sociopath. A difficult discussion took place this week with someone we love who has reentered a relationship with a man who previously exhibited similar tendencies. The red flags are waving and this woman cannot see them. Standing by while people we love self destruct is brutal. Perhaps, I know why I failed to keep my head above water this week after all. 

Week Seven

This weekend marks the two year anniversary of Erin's hysterectomy. The months immediately following her surgery were an enormous relief. But as she has processed the cost and met fellow survivors, she has often struggled with the loss. Survivor guilt kicks in every now and then and she feels somewhat indebted to make this one precious life matter. Of course it does but our girl will always strive for more. These last two years have been a bit turbulent as physicians panicked over unusual symptoms and sent her in for testing repeatedly. Each time pathology was required, we held our collective breath. Scan-xiety is real and we aren't immune, despite our desire to walk fully in faith. And so she takes this one precious life and lives it fully. Her version involves Cuban food, amazing friendships, compassion for the vulnerable, drive for lofty education goals and a family that adores her. Our beautiful girl is healthy. 

The week was long and at times, hard. Ty had a week worth of makeup work to complete on top of this week's homework. There were tears. Some of them, his. Sigh. I don't believe I've been this stressed about middle school since 1986. I wasn't sure I was going to survive it then and I'm not so sure we are going to make it through this round without medication and alcohol. Greg prayed over dinner Thursday night simply, "Lord help us." Amen.

Just when I thought I couldn't love Anna more...She is ten and this math test answer may be my most favorite part of the week. 

Anna and I putting the final touches on the yearbook today. 

We were gifted a gorgeous sunny day and two very mild evenings spent on a porch. I needed every moment of fresh air and am grateful for the opportunity to open windows to usher out the stale winter air. Spring simply cannot arrive soon enough for my weary soul because this morning arrived with flurries and ridiculous temperatures.

Makenna went from looking adorable at work to testing positive for covid. She loves her students so the unplanned days off we're anything but welcomed but she is managing symptoms fairly well. 

Kate and Hagan attended a school dance Saturday evening because he wanted to go. She wasn't all that interested but they did end up having a good time. I laughed as Hagan's mom pointed out the hours he spent getting ready as opposed to Kate who pulled her hair into a braid and declared it good enough. She is anything but fussy about these things. 

Saturday afternoon I had the unique privilege of photographing a wedding for this adorable couple. These lovely ladies have been together for forty years and decided to make it official with a months' notice. I stepped in as a favor for a friend because I am not a wedding photographer. The event was a casual family party and I'm glad I agreed to step out of my comfort zone. I'm still not a wedding photographer but I'd love to hang out with this group again someday. They were a good time. Also, I kinda hope to grow up to be like my new feisty friend. She had everyone laughing the entire day. 

Lauren and Taylor received their household goods this week! They are so happy to be back in real beds after two long months. Austin is excited to have his toys again. They are now navigating creative storage solutions as they have downsized by more than a thousand square feet. Hawaii isn't yet feeling like paradise but they are still seeking adventure and making the most of the experience. 

Girlfriend Day Out/Week Six

Erin going with me was a surprise for my friends and one they absolutely loved. There were several comments about their pride in helping raise her; the first baby of our group. 

Erin and I met some friends in Florence for a day of eating, shopping and laughing. We caught up, hugged often and slipped into personal conversations in between ridiculous stories of aging and life. At one point, we were all gathered around magnifying mirrors discussing the need for them to pluck the stray hairs we no longer see. Someone confessed to a waxing job gone awry and we drew an audience as Jill burst out laughing that twenty years ago we were drinking mudslides in my kitchen without a clue of just how glamorous life would become. By the time we left that store, a clerk thanked us for coming in so full of joy. I'm so grateful for my tribe. We have weathered some serious hardships and celebrated the journey alongside one another for decades. It is the absolute best. We plan to retire together like the golden girls and have selected our roommates based on folded towels. Although one of them says she started folding hers after the horror on my face about causally shoving them into a cabinet. She is claiming towel folding as exercise. As I said, ridiculous. Of course the same one who is insisting on a very attractive pool boy for our elderly years is the same one who bought sweatpants at Victoria Secret for Valentine's Day. I have no words. 

The sun showed up on Sunday and we all rejoiced! Goodness we need more days like that. But Ty, who had been feeling rundown for a few days managed some trampoline time and I thought we were in the clear until Erin pointed out his nasty cough. By Monday it was clear he was once again sick. Tuesday he needed lab work to rule out quite a few illnesses. Wednesday we learned he has been fighting two viruses and both have been hitting kids pretty hard this year. The RSV is still a bit concerning given he is also an asthmatic, so he scored a week out of school to sleep it all off. He was not disappointed but also not well enough to enjoy himself. 

Despite all the fun Diesel promises to bring to any and all situations, Oliver is not having it. Poor Diesel.

Greg tells him to stay off his pillows. He obeys until the moment Greg leaves for work each morning. But look at how sweet he appears to be when he is sleeping. 

Our Everyplate box contained a planned surprise for the kids. They were thrilled. These silly little cookies have been difficult to locate. Come on Pillsbury, the kids need you to get it together. The holidays, they claim, aren't the same without your bland cookies.

I am leading a brand new yearbook club at school and today we took a quick photo of our motley crew. They are loud, hilarious and doing a great job tackling this year's book. This is the first time it's been student lead and I'm honored my boss allowed me to opportunity to launch it this year. We've been on quite the learning curve as a team but I have mostly enjoyed the process. I kinda like these people. I'm going to be pretty sad when they graduate from the elementary school in a few months.