As a project for Lauren, I have been going through all the journals I kept for the kids starting in the year 2000. I am pulling entries from each year and putting together one journal for her as a wedding gift. Memories from those years have been flooding back and I find myself recalling their sweet voices as I process through this project.
We've been gathering around the TV and watching old home videos during nap time the last few days because I need something to cry about, apparently. Throughout the old movies, I have learned a few things about myself. First, I am a bit thicker these days and second, I was so beyond naive in my early parenting years. It is difficult to read and listen to my arrogant, know-it-all younger self. I know why God sent me Kate and Ty. I needed to chill out already.
Seeing my babies as babies again has left me awestruck. We are so blessed to have each and every one of them. They really are remarkable. A few images have taken my breath and others have had me laughing until tears filled my eyes. Of course those tears are resting in the corners of my eyes quite a bit these days anyway. I still can't wrap my head around how quickly time has slipped through my fingers.
Just moments ago, a baby became a big sister and she was enamored. That baby sister is planning a wedding and I am still a little stunned to have arrived at this season already. The sibling dynamics captured in their early years proved to hold-out for the long haul. These girls could bicker with incredible skill but have always supported each other. Having Lauren request only her sisters as her attendants is proof of their chosen friendship.
So we are planning a wedding and all the details that pop up are being handled quickly as we really don't have the time to invest in decision making. As a result of the short time frame, we have accomplished a lot in the last week. My motto is, "it will be what it will be" and it's saving some sanity as I had very little to spare. My walks down memory lane have been bittersweet. Anne posted this video to Facebook today and I can't help but watch it repeatedly. The message is so simple, beautiful and timely.