Finding Beauty in the Muck

Two little guys entered my Sunday school classroom this morning with arms crossed, deep sighs and intense scowls set on their faces. One wasn't permitted to wear his black shoes today. Another determined he was going to big church with his momma but was pushed into my room instead. As adorable as their four year old disappointment was to me, I could relate. How often is my reaction to changed plans similar? (Although, I am certain I am not nearly as cute in my objections). Another little man arrived looking as handsome as ever with his typical big grin and happy-go-lucky disposition. I asked him if his mommy had his new baby yet and he informed me his baby lives in heaven. My heart broke.

Shelby spent the weekend with us and I returned home from church to a message from Jennifer asking me to bring Shelby to her because she needed some time with her daughter. Jennifer's brother is now in ICU and the prognosis isn't good. Jenn and her family have been through a really rough season lately. Once again, I had a heavy heart. I was wrestling with my emotions on the way home from Jenn's rehab center, trying to find words to express how I feel. In truth, I desperately needed to see good in the hard; beauty in the muck. When I returned home, I discovered Greg and Ty were napping so I took off with my camera in the rain, not sure where I was headed but certain God would listen to my rambling as I searched.

Our neighborhood creek is overflowing today. It spent months stagnate, too still and lifeless. It struck me as I knelt down in the saturated ground to take some photos that there is beauty in the rain. It may not be as easy to see as the murky water churns, but in my life, God is more readily present in life's storms than calm water. The truth is that I am more open to seek Him when my life is churning. He is always present and so is the beautiful but I often fail to seek either.

God blessed me with His peace today. He even allowed some humor as I was discovered stooping in the pouring rain, wearing my daughter's polka dot rain boots photographing the creek. Anne laughed but seemed to sense immediately I needed to discover something beautiful, something redeeming in the brown and gray that was enclosing me. The truth is I won't recognize the beauty in life if I don't see the contrast. I won't appreciate the calm water and blue skies if I don't experience the churning of muddy water too. This bleak season only highlights the birth of new life in the next. I am grateful.