Date Night

Erin took Kate and Ty to Pizza King to see the train deliver drinks while they ate. It was a perfect date location for our favorite little man. He very enthusiastically announced what that train was doing to everyone who passed their booth. Erin then delivered the dessert.....a trip to the car wash which Ty calls the Big Blue Vacuum. He was in his glory and decided later the only thing that would have made the night better would have been playtime at the park. Had it not been 40 degrees, the park would have been reasonable.

While Erin entertained the little ones, Greg and I used the Olive Garden gift card from my parents. Dinner was delicious and the ability to speak in complete sentences was priceless. Rather than wander around Home Depot, we mentally spent a fortune there planning future home improvement projects over black tie mousse cake.

Our dinner dates only occur when we have gift cards for our birthdays so, Erin took a quick shot upon our return. We were cold but seized the opportunity since it's a rare day we are in front of the camera rather than behind it.

Bathroom wrap up

Greg wrapped up the drywall repair and painted today. I added the final touches. We refrained from replacing the light fixture and updating the mirror for now.

 

I also removed our dark brown duvet cover and spruced up the pillows to lighten the bedroom as well. The man cave is slowly being transformed.

While we've been working, our little people have been busy as well.

 

 

Erin replaced my Spring break message on the fridge. Sadly, hers is more accurate.

And tonight.....Date night! Erin offered to take the little ones to Pizza King while Greg and I use his birthday gift card to Olive Garden. We may just pull off a stroll through Home Depot too. We are living on the edge.

Baby it's cold outside!

It was a blustery first day of spring break. Lauren and Kenna are now in Florida, after the two hour delay we spent chillin in the airport this afternoon.

 

And because of said delay, dinner was Chick-fil-a for Kate, Ty, Greg and I where a balloon artist supplied my children with weapons. Ty, filled with absolute glee informed us he was ready to beat us up when we got home.

 

Joy. Pure Joy. We needed to find a place to let the kids burn energy and Chick-fil-a did not disappoint. The weather got the wrong memo and is providing winter rather than the spring we requested for outside activities this week.

The opposite of joy. Drywall repairs began tonight. Greg gets to work on the house throughout another vacation week. He's thrilled. I may need to hide the balloon swords.

Birthday Weekend

Celebrating Erin Saturday carried over into celebrating Greg Sunday; typical for the last 18 years. He's a bit older than her so a nap was requested on his day. Eighteen years ago Greg asked me if I could hold out just a bit longer during labor because he'd love his first child to share his birthday; his barely noted since. I am pretty certain I wasn't polite in my response to his request at 4 am March 23, 1995, although who can recall precisely what was screamed said.

 

 
We participated in a local church Easter Egg hunt yesterday with Anne and her kids. It was a fun way to spend a sunny afternoon. The kids had a great time and Ty continues to carry around his bucket full of "egg treasures" today. Mom and Dad joined us before Mom took the older girls out for tea and Ty took Grandpa on a walk through the construction site. We're glad we were able to get some fresh air yesterday as a winter storm is moving into the area today. Ugh. This forecast is not what we needed for Spring Break.

Lauren and Makenna are flying to Florida tomorrow to spend the week with Greg's parents. They are looking forward to the warm weather and sunny skies. Erin's trip to Boston was cancelled so she's planning to relax around the house with friends and at the end of the week, a group anticipates an overnight stay in Nashville. She also hopes to find a new job this week. Her current position with Subway has been challenging. We will be all too glad to have her out of that environment. Now that she is 18, she has more options. By the way, any opportunity she's had to mention she is an adult has been taken, amusing us all. Two hours after waking yesterday she told Ty his life was pretty easy compared to being an adult. She received several messages throughout her day, our favorite being from my 8 year old nephew who wanted to know if she was moving out yet. Theresa must run a tighter ship than me.

Legal.

This gorgeous baby is 18 today. Where did the time go? She is hilarious. She is smart. She makes me smile. I love her quick whit and appreciate her world view. Her sense of fashion has evolved but her style is still very much her own.

 We couldn't be prouder of the young woman she's become. Happy birthday baby. We love you.

Kate discovered these key chains at Justice a few months ago. She immediately insisted upon buying them for Erin's birthday. I held her off believing she would forget about them. Weeks passed but periodically she would mention them. I finally consented when she said she needed them so Erin would have something to remember her by when she moves away for college.  Erin opened them last night because Kate couldn't wait any longer. Erin grinned appreciatively until Kate told her why they were so important. At that point, she couldn't speak as she embraced her little sis with quiet tears streaming down her face. 

My drug rant

Fair warning. I am emotional. A friend has a nephew who is addicted to Heroine. So is his girlfriend. They have a three year old boy and a baby girl on the way. I am angry. I am sad. That sweet boy sleeps on a dog bed, with the dog. The house is deplorable and CPS refuses to investigate. I cannot understand it. Once this little one is born, drug addicted as well, theory is that someone will step in. But I know from Ryan's experience that as long as someone can legally abort their baby, drug addicted babies who pass away are not investigated. It's a "choice". And to that I say, BULL.

Lauren spent her morning talking with a friend experimenting with cough syrup and weed. She was upset and determined to get him to see why his choices are so damaging. Frustrated doesn't begin to express her feelings. We were both in tears after she hang up. This is another situation where the parents are not only aware but providing the drugs. Where do we go with that? At 14, 15 and 16 they believe drugs are "harmless". These kids are reverting to what they know, thanks to their parents. You know, the ones who are supposed to be protecting and educating them?!?  It's their escape. I want to love on them. I want to shake them. I want to go after their parents. I feel helpless and conflicted. I am angry. I am sad.

Say what?

I decided to break out the Easter eggs a little early to occupy Ty for a bit today. He needed a quiet activity to do while resting and hopefully recovering. He loved it. He is pretty efficient too. Note how many eggs he can color at one time.

 

 

 

I attended our annual HOA meeting tonight to see what the fallout was going to be since our attempt to bring in a management company failed in January. I left that meeting a new board member. Life is full of surprises. And peer pressure is very real, even at my age.

Facing fear

Ty woke us Monday morning with more belly issues and continued fever but was much more concerned about the "loud storm". We cleaned up the tummy troubles and initiated "bedtime storm watch". Each of my kids have at one point or another been afraid of thunderstorms and my approach to facing that fear is to literally face that fear. We turn our pillows and quilts backward on the bed and open the blinds so we can watch the storm together, noting just how much cooler God's fireworks are than anything we've seen on the fourth of July. Ty decided he loves lightning but not "funder". Lots of cuddle time has taken place the last couple of days and we are relieved the 103 degree fevers are lower but would like to see an end to the other symptoms.



Preparing my home for overnight guests to arrive is insane. I know without doubt I wouldn't notice dust in someone's house but will pick apart every element of mine when welcoming others into it. Why do I do this to myself? There are times I would simply cringe if someone knocked on the door unexpectedly because I was not quite ready for them to see the very failed side of me; as if toys all over the house symbolizes failure anyway. I am so blessed to have authentic relationships where I could comfortably push piles of shoes out of the way of the threshold and invite friends into my chaotic world but I still struggle with insecurities with anything being out of place for people outside that comfort zone. I constantly have to remind myself that the people who live here deserve to live in peace without me frantically cleaning up behind their every move. What I really want is to be in control of my life. I want to feel like there are elements I can manage and manipulate into workable pliable situations. In reality, I can't control anything. Even a perfectly dusted house can succumb to fire, a wind storm or even less frightening, a toddler with Cheerios! And if I am being totally honest, even the simplest acts can be performed with the wrong heart. If I am trying to keep up perfect images, I am covering failed thoughts and heart issues. The total package isn't flawless skin, a fingerprint-free house with organic meals and well mannered children. I wasn't designed to be perfect. I was created to be used by God. That is a messy process and  includes a growth journey on the inside; the stuff you can only see in my reactions as I am placed under pressure. I have fooled myself into believing if I can keep everything on the outside looking good, what is going on in my heart is also good. It's a lie. There is nothing like mouthy teens, messy toddlers and a dirty dog to reveal those messes and the need for the process. If I can focus my attention on dirty floors, the real fears in my heart don't get attention. Like my son's fear of storms, most of mine are irrational. Others are very real. Neither can I control. Learning to lean on the Lord for "Life's storm watch" is an on-going journey for me. Fortunately, He promises to storm watch with me, making it a lot less frightening.

Makenna's first book

Makenna wrote a book.....check it out on Shutterfly.

It was Spring....for a day.

Yesterday I sweet talked my favorite men into mulching the landscape. One was more excited than the other.

 

 

He even allowed Lauren to use his rake because he's pretty sweet. We were outside by 8am and didn't roll in until 6pm when the temperature started dropping from glorious 70 to the freezing rain we woke up to today. Weather is fickle. So are germs. Ty is now running a fever.

 

But yesterday....he and Kate were ready to take on the world, Super Hero style.

Friday's at the library

We spent Friday morning in our usual location but brought a little friend along this week. Karston was one of the little guys I kept at the school and his grandma needed someone to watch him for the day....everyone enjoyed him. Weighing a hefty 25 pounds at 9 months provided a mini work out of sorts. He is a sweet boy.

 

 

Can you get enough of this outfit? Little man loves his cowboy boots and doesn't want them covered by his pants. Believe it or not, this is an improvement....typically we wears them with athletic pants.

 

I have no idea if he was doing this before playing in our house but at this point he was raising Buzz Lightyear over his head and growling. It just seems like the kind of thing we would teach someone else's baby.

And one of my favorites....chubby baby hands.

Missing her

I finally uploaded photos to create my 2012 Shutterfly family album; a project I tackle every January. Typically. Life's been a bit busy. I ran across photos of the kids with my grandma and spent some time reminiscing. I then wrapped up our first Senior photo order. When I pulled out the notes I had taken last summer pertaining to that order and saw Grandma's request written, I broke down. Tears silently fell for a few minutes. I still can't believe she's gone. I miss her.

The grief hits me at odd times. I never really know when memories will come flooding back. It takes me a second to pull my thoughts out of the sadness when they appear. Anne and I perused an antique warehouse a few weekends ago and one booth contained depression glass. I was instantly taken back to her kitchen as I inhaled the dusty air of that old warehouse; the floral scent of Grandma's house being a sharp contrast. Whereas that home is holding new memories for a young family now, in my mind I can travel there for the briefest of moments. The sadness quickly passes as her smile and laugh interrupt my thought process. She wouldn't want me tearing up over her. I can hear her firm tone letting me know it too.

Recently heard....

Kate informed me she needs to see Justin Beiber in concert this year because he turns 20 next year and then he'd be too old for her. I let her know he is already too old for her. She responded that at least he's still a teenager.

I asked Ty to stop kicking his ball in the house. He scowled but then took a few minutes to perfect that scowl. I asked what he was doing and he said he was making Avry's mean face.

22 month old Devyn continues to power off the computer by pushing the power button. I have redirected numerous times so I sat her in a mini time out of sorts. Devyn was un- phased but Ty was distraught. He told her I was mean and she was little. He was pretty upset with me as he adores that little girl.

Last weekend Ty was out in the field, exploring the "bunny homes" with most of the neighborhood when Avry walked out to join him. Ty looked at our neighbor and said, "oh no, here comes Avry. I am about to get irritated".

When encouraging Ty to eat his vegetables, I tell him he will grow big and tall if he eats them. Ty informed our neighbor he must not eat his vegetables because he isn't very tall. That man is not taller than me but I am surprised Ty has figured that out. You would think everyone would be "big and tall" compared to Ty! Thank God our neighbor has four children and a sense of humor.

I took the girls shopping for summer clothes and Lauren picked up a little plaid shirt asking if everyone thought it was cute. Erin said, "it looks like something a hooker would wear" to which Lauren replied, "I think I would wear it to church camp". We didn't purchase the shirt.

Ty said, "that's a bunch of easy" when he was dressing himself this morning. He also uses the phrases, "I cannot know how" and "I cannot like that" regularly. 

Remember When....

I cannot tell you how many times I have questioned, "remember when". I think it shows my age especially since I have heard my dad start far too many conversations that way over the years. Lately, the price of gas and food have been discussed because I feel badly for my kids. They can't clean the change out of the car to get gas and go out and about for the weekend like I did as a teen. Trips to the mall now have to consider the gas expense. And don't even get me started on the price of anything they would purchase once they got there. Seriously, when did $150 become acceptable for a pair of jeans? It still isn't in my house but I know several people willing to part with that cash for something I consider disposable. And I wear my jeans for a decade or until they literally fall apart at the seams....like my favorites I have still been unable to replace. Even Target is pricey lately. Retailers have us over a barrel of sorts. We have to eat, use  personal care items and clothes are essential.

When my teens were little, we always held memberships to the local science center. It was an annual expense of $35 and it reciprocated all over the country. We used it at numerous zoos and science centers when we visited friends in other states. Now that membership is $89 and no longer reciprocates with many other locations and typically only offers a 50% discount. Ty has asked to go to the zoo quite a bit lately and we plan to take him over spring break. Given it will cost Greg and I $60 to walk through the gate with two kids, we are likely biting the bullet and hope it inspires us to frequently visit this year.

Remember when it was considered unacceptable to hover over your children, bubble wrapping them so they wouldn't get hurt? I cannot tell you how many times people knocked on our door when the kids climbed the maple tree in our front yard in Ohio to tell me how unsafe they considered it. They were being kids.....playing in the magical world they created in that tree. How could I rob them of those memories in an effort to keep them safe from falling? Obviously I don't want to see my children injured but at some point, when we fail or get hurt, we learn life lessons. The real question is, how can I rob them from learning how to pick themselves up and move forward more determined to succeed?


I remember when the girls played with the Fisher Price doll house. The people were all named and did things that mimicked our family life fairly closely. Roles and activities were somewhat predictable. I recently pulled the doll house out of the attic for the little girls who spend a few mornings a week here and Ty has taken to it. Watching him play doll house is nothing like watching the girls. There are no rules. Ty prefers to use imaginary people as to not be committed to keeping up with figures that fail to cooperate with his plans. The motor scooter is his chosen method of transportation throughout the house.  It enters and exits the house through windows and deposits imaginary people into their beds....where the little boy gets to sleep with his mommy and the dad can sleep on the couch. Welcome to the world my son creates when he is in charge.

Our Story

My friend and I have been exchanging emails for a few weeks. We have an interesting friend story as she and I fought over the same guy in high school. She won. Sort of. Let's just say he wasn't the prince he should have been to have won this beautiful friend's heart. She has been through a lot of hard life as result of "winning" a husband out of that man. Her life is full and rich today but not without battle wounds. We've connected through another friend and Facebook. Since we both decided Facebook was no longer something we wanted to invest in, an email exchange began. We've covered kids, jobs, headaches and life in general but on Friday she asked me to share my love story. I decided it would be fun to post it in this little part of my world. So dear friend, here goes......

When I was a Senior in high school, I worked for Lazarus at the Salem Mall. I had a co-worker who was only a year older than me but was married and had a baby. Her life was chaotic and I felt badly for her. I ended up providing a lot of her transportation and fell in love with her baby. Shortly after we met, her husband left her. She very quickly started dating a really great guy. His name was Greg and I met him the week after I graduated high school and he graduated college. I liked him immediately and wondered why on earth he was with this girl who was a mess of one poor choice after another. He liked me too and tried to set me up with his friend. Bob was nice guy but not meant for me. I eventually lost patience with my friend's on-going self destruction and distanced myself. At that point, I was recruited to be an assistant manager for a Lane Bryant store. I will pause here and tell you that I was not well liked in that role being a size 2 but I made friends among other mall employees and spent my social time with them. One of those new friends was singing Karaoke at Bolt's Sports Bar one night and a group of us were going to support her. As I walked in, Greg and his dad were walking out. Greg and I started talking and his dad left because thank God, they drove separately. As it turns out, Greg had also decided that girlfriend's drama was too much and had also gracefully stepped out of the situation around the same time I had. We both mentioned how much we cared for the baby. We talked for hours and exchanged phone numbers as we parted ways that night. We talked several times that week and had our first date the following weekend in March 1993.

On our first date, Greg picked me up wearing a high and tight hair style and a diamond earring. He had just placed second in a body building competition and my dad was less than thrilled as I walked out the door with him. We went to a comedy club and three weeks later, I knew I would marry him. He teases he was a little slower picking up on it but he also realized we were meant to be together. By our second date, my dad was ready to show Greg his hunting guns and Greg was impressed. I should have known then I would have my hands full but to this day, they are friends and ornery together. My dad kept telling Greg he would sell me for 50 cents and there would be no refunds. So during our ceremony, Greg handed my dad a 50 cent piece. In the receiving line, Dad gave him 5 cents change. Apparently, there was a discount that day. Believe it or not, they both love me.

Greg and I actually planned our engagement. Looking back, I realize I made it way too easy for that man! We used my 20th birthday on October 2, 1993 to officially get engaged. We married the following July. We initially wanted to be married in the fall by candlelight but couldn't find a church willing to work with an evening wedding plan, nor did we want to wait that long. We also wanted to elope in Gatlinburg and to this day, wish we had. We found a beautiful chapel in the hills with a serene creek running by and almost eloped that April. We ultimately decided it would not be wise to start our marriage ticking off my mom who had visions of her daughter walking down the isle in her head. So we humored her and started our marriage a little more traditionally.

Greg's family is strict conservative. My family is not. Greg says we are only a talk show host away from a Jerry Springer episode at most extended family gatherings. He's not exaggerating. That led to the next concern with wedding planning. We opted for a quick, cake only reception to prevent too much mingling before high tailing it out of town the following morning to the big city of Lexington, Kentucky where we ended up with our "honeymoon surprise" because Lexington offered little else to occupy our time.

Aunt Kristin

Kristin brought her family down for the weekend. We enjoyed beautiful weather, a good walk, great conversation and calorie rich food. None of the calories counted though because we shared. We looked forward to seeing the boys interact but failed to grab the camera the entire weekend. So let me draw you a picture.....Avry is holding a bat making his "mean face" and Ty is crying. That should cover it. Ty cried at the drop of a hat and Avry spent a lot of time in time-out. Kristin and I needed referee whistles and duct tape. At some point, they will be friends. Or not. It doesn't matter. Their mommas love each other.

Greg, Chris and Ethan incorporated a trip to Bass Pro Shops and have plans to check out the new Cabela's once it opens next month. These kids stand no chance of avoiding each other. The dads enjoy each others company as well.

Kristin created a beautiful album for Erin's upcoming 18th birthday using her Senior photos. Time is truly slipping through our fingers. Kristin kept commenting she cannot believe we are hitting such big milestones. It was Kristin who taught Erin how to count in Spanish by allowing her to jump on the bed during a date night Greg and I took just before Lauren was born. "Aunt Kristin" has always been an active part of her life and is also processing, "how did we get here already?" It was more than appropriate to have Kristin and Chris take her Senior photos. They also wanted to capture both the little girl we still hear telling us sweet stories and pulling "pretty cute" outfits together while also acknowledging the beautiful young woman she's become.

This shot takes us back to kindergarten....the expression being one she's made for years.

My other blog.....

Anne determined the best blog we could create together would feature failed pinterest projects. Think of the fun everyone could have laughing at us. She claims she has no artistic ability whatsoever; however, the areas of her house she has decorated are beautiful. But with that being said, there are a lot of crazy ideas out there just begging to be created in our kitchens or garages while we make fun of them. We're sweet like that. In fact, we discovered people are paying for unusual products in the stores already. We couldn't even identify some of that stuff! Maybe we could start our own decorating line too? Our Pinterest blog wouldn't mention our kids and the only photos would be of the projects themselves so finding links on obscure websites would entertain us rather than alarm us. We might be onto something here......

Anyway, I wanted a sign above my kitchen cabinets. I asked Greg to cut an existing piece of plywood so I could paint it with leftover paint from the door project last year. Ty was rather impressed with Daddy's saw and immediately tackled an additional scrap piece with his plastic saw and frustrating results. He determined he would be careful with Daddy's saw if he could use it. Um, I don't think so buddy!

Reach for the sky anyway little man.

Paige popped up to help us clear the table tonight....and chances are pretty strong these two are texting each other.

In an effort to expedite the arrival of outside activities, we roasted marshmallows in the fireplace this weekend. It took the chill out of the air and provided a sweet treat as well. The cold air is no longer welcome in these parts. Even Greg sighed deeply at the sight of a few snowflakes today. We are over it. 

Robyn called to check on us because I hadn't blogged in a week. We are fine, it was just a very full week with doctor appointments, extra kids while their mom recovered from the flu and overlapping work schedules. This week promises more of the same sans the flu, I hope.

Robbed

I have been robbed and the only thing missing is my sanity. I have vague memories of sanity but scarcely recall how that felt. I know I had it at moments of crazy but lost it somewhere in the midst of more crazy. I am the mom who prepared family meals every night served around the table with silverware and real dishes. Church, youth group and Awana were priorities in our weekly schedules. Sponge Bob and several Disney shows were banned because they weren't positive influences. I read books before the girls because questionable topics tend to pop up in popular novels. I prayed for them and with them. I taught them bible verses and sang Veggie Tales along with them. Our home was as peaceful and loving as possible in a family with a houseful of kids. It wasn't perfect by any stretch but making our home a sanctuary was a message I embraced and believed would shield my kids from hard life while they were too young to cope with it. I told them to be nice and taught them manners.  Family time was more important than anything else. What happened? I marked all the right boxes and yet the teens are convinced they have been ripped off in some way. They feel as though they aren't understood and we expect Pollyannas in a Snookie world. In truth, we do. Isn't that what we've invested the last 17 years creating? Yes, they will be individuals and need to find their own way but seeing them turn from our values and what we've worked so hard to provide is challenging.  It is not easy to stand back and let them flail but in reality,they need to learn from their own mistakes. Naive parents believe it can't happen to them because they've invested so wisely. Like our 401K in 2008, it can deteriorate right before your eyes. As it first began to unravel, I was grasping to hold on but found my efforts as futile as holding water in my bare hands. I recently heard a wise older woman say we cannot be anyone's holy spirit. That resonated within my heart. I want to be their conscience. I want to pull them back and lock them in their rooms until they are no longer making unhealthy choices but in truth, that isn't my role in this season. Oh I want to! I really want to. There is still accountability and this is still our home where we are leading but the condition of their heart is between them and the Lord. Thank God for his truth. I have faith they will be back.

In the mean time, my husband is trying to send strong messages to the boy we want to go away. Lauren thinks he's a prince. We know he's a toad. This is what Greg and Erin came up with this weekend while I was out.

 Erin's English teacher told her he saw this photo on Instagram and thought he should call CPS. We say, "bring it!" maybe CPS could post a notice on our front door warning all future boyfriends we are insane and willing to go to jail to protect our girls. The teacher was teasing.