Sunday, December 20, 2015
Ty has come to understand he has a brother in heaven. He writes "Ryan" and "my brother" all over his papers and drawings which tends to catch me off guard. It stings as I also wish Ty had a big brother to toss a ball and wrestle with in the yard. So in balancing the peace we've had about Ryan's short life with the reality of that loss, we try to focus on celebrating rather than mourning. Some years are harder than others as time heals a lot of wounds but the scars remain.
The years I weep through the days leading up to his birthday are almost harder than the birthdays the date itself kicks me in the gut. It's been an emotional month and I am somewhat relieved the day has finally arrived.
I ache to hold him in my arms again someday.