The leaf run

It is simply gorgeous in my neck of the woods. I can't breathe in enough of it and am almost manic about capturing the color on camera, trying to remember the aroma of the fallen leaves and desperately encouraging my family embrace the beauty of the world around them these few short weeks. In the car, I am constantly pointing out areas with vibrant color or asking Greg to pull over to let me take photos. There is a strong likelihood I just annoying them all but I need to remember this. It's my favorite time of year. Change. It can be beautiful. Given how resistant I am to change in general it is almost ironic how much I crave this season with weather that is in a constant state of flux and color that pops up suddenly and then all too quickly disappears. My little people are enjoying it too; adding another layer of "I can't get enough".

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daddy's Helper

Ty insists his dress shoes are work shoes and he wears them all the time...even with sweats because he may need to get some work done. Last evening, as Greg was getting up, Ty asked him if he could help him get his work shoes so they could go work on stuff. As it turns out, there was "stuff" that needed worked on!

 

 

Does it get any sweeter? I found him working on my van with his plastic hammer this week. He was quickly redirected and then he decided the stop sign needed attention. He worked on it for a long time. The sound of metal being struck by plastic is unique. Our neighbors are amused rather than irritated and I am grateful.

Honesty

We hosted a bonfire for the kids and their friends last night. Having such diverse age groups represented in our home presents some challenges in finding family friendly activities for everyone. We tackled this one by inviting younger kids and families to join us for dinner until the typical bedtime. The teens brought their friends after attending the football game. As much as I would love to have them all at the same time, it is probably best to keep the teens in their own time slot as they don't always have filters and say things that are perfectly acceptable to say at 16 that may not be as acceptable at 7. It was a beautiful evening, we all enjoyed ourselves and it was needed after the week we've had. I wish I could say fall break was the relaxing break we needed but I would be lying. I've been fighting sinus symptoms for two solid weeks now, convincing myself they will go away if I ignore them long enough. This would be my typical approach to all things medical. But by yesterday, it was clear things were progressing, not improving so off the the walk-in clinic I went, knowing full and well I would come home on an antibiotic. Ugh. I am grateful they exist but really don't like taking them.

The football game was a "pink out" and all ticket sales were given to breast cancer research. FC lost by one point in overtime. The kids say it was a great game.

After the dryer incident with Kate this week, she had difficulty sleeping and has been pretty grumpy. I can't blame her but going on very little sleep myself because Ty has also been running a fever off and on this week and not resting well left me with very little patience for it all. I feel horrible even admitting it but I found myself irritated more easily and ready to hide with tea somewhere quiet. I treasure my kids and know how quickly these days pass. I don't want to take any day for granted but the total accumulation of issues this week left me depleted.

This girl makes me crazy! She licked the jug of fruit punch so no one else would drink it!

The goal was catching marshmallows on fire. He didn't actually want to eat them.

Lauren attended a birthday party for a classmate Thursday night. I felt uneasy allowing her to go. She went to this girls' party last year and noted the mother made her uncomfortable with the way she glared at everyone and didn't interact. I questioned why she would want to go again and she said more of her friends were going and they would have fun no matter what. I can't explain it further but just didn't feel settled. Greg called after dropping her off at the party and said he wasn't comfortable leaving her there because it appeared to be a rough area. We were both texting Lauren, questioning her comfort level, which of her friends were there, etc. The party was supposed to end at midnight. We'd already said 11 was late enough but after Greg dropped her off, I decided 10:30 was best. She agreed but texted at just before 10 and said some girl just hit her and she wanted me to get her immediately. It took me twenty minutes to get there and I called Greg to meet me, even though it meant he'd have to leave work for a little while. We've never had to do that in all the years he's been there so I was fairly certain it would be okay. He needed to be there. I am so glad he was. He took the bull by the horns, so to speak and made sure things were handled assertively and calmly. His demeanor was exactly what the situation needed. I would have taken Lauren home just to get out of there. Greg asked for an explanation from the parental chaperones and was offered none. He asked if the girl's parents had been called and then insisted that call take place immediately. He handled the phone call with that parent and determined the police needed to be called as well.

Lauren went to the party with her friend Dylan and his friend Dalton. Lauren and Dylan have been friends for over a year and we carpool with his family. She was dancing with a group of kids, including Dylan and Dalton when a girl she doesn't know, who is new to the school walked up to her and asked her if she was trying to make her mad (language cleaned up a bit). Lauren asked her what she was talking about and she repeated her question. Lauren was confused and again asked what she was upset about. She apparently had dated Dylan for a week or so and was mad Lauren was dancing with him. Lauren laughed it off stating they were good friends and she had nothing to worry about and even invited her to join them. Hailey acted like she was going to walk away so Lauren turned her back to her to go back to dancing when Hailey grabbed her from behind and punched her in the forehead. Lauren was shocked and walked away. Hailey's friends held her back and were yelling at her for doing it. Within seconds, Lauren was grabbed from behind a second time and hit. This time she said she turned, swinging but Hailey grabbed her shirt and pulled it down. Lauren knelt down quickly to avoid being exposed and was hit again as she slipped. Several people took Hailey outside and a parent from the party drove her around to allow her to cool off. When we arrived, they acted like they had no idea what had happened and had already sent this girl back into the party!

This girl was dancing as the police arrived, admitted everything and had no remorse. Lauren is fine but was shaken. She is concerned about school on Monday but we've already made the school aware and they will be intervening first thing Monday morning. Greg and I are both upset with ourselves for ignoring our initial instincts about this birthday party. We have no reason not to trust our daughter but just as this situation revealed, our kids aren't the only ones we have to trust. When Greg called the police, a parent from the party rounded up a van load of teens and drove them away. It was something we noted but didn't really think about until later. Once we were in a state of reflection, rather then reaction it occurred to us there was a lot more going on at that party than initially understood and the parents were fully aware. We've talked with Lauren, who was clueless about the extra activities about being more aware of her surroundings and using our code word text to be rescued from situations she isn't comfortable. She wasn't uncomfortable until the attack which again reiterates that we were negligent allowing her to be there. Once we talked with a few locals and the police officer we were warned that we were in a really bad area of Louisville and should NEVER be there. Thank God this was the only incident and our daughter walked away relatively unscathed. Lessons learned.

I can't turn my back for a second

This morning, I made a hot cup of tea and called Kristin for a sanity check because it had been a rough night. My son has been up more than down the last three nights and I cannot explain why. It is just something he's doing right now. It is not fun and does not make for a very happy mommy in the morning. There are tears, lots of them, mostly his. The kids had taken a view finder projection toy into the laundry room and closed the door so it would be dark enough to see the images. They also play in the laundry room with flashlights. In other words, it is a common thing for them to do and it provided a few minutes of relative peace for me. Kristin and I discussed our current state of crazy and were about to wrap up our conversation when I heard a horrible thud, the sound of the dryer running and both of my younger children screaming. I ran from the living room to the laundry room in the amount of time it took Kate to take three full rotations in the dryer. I frantically opened the dryer door to my hysterical Kate who was pretty banged up but going to be fine. Praise the Lord. I removed Ty from the top of the dryer as he was also screaming uncontrollably. It took awhile for all of us to stop shaking long enough to ask questions. First, my clever husband asked Kate if she was warm and dry yet! I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or slug him in that moment. He bravely went back to bed and let me handle the interrogation. As it turns out, Kate was playing in the dryer. Ty closed the door and scaled the dryer with his bare feet so they were able to stick to it as he climbed. He turned the knob and hit the start button. I am still in a state of disbelief. Why? Just Why? Ty swears he will never start the dryer again. I am certain this will be his lifelong ticket out of laundry and his future wife will hate me for it. The "what ifs" have played in my head over and over today. I keep thanking God for His protection. Kate has bruises and abrasions up and down her spine. She is sore but safe. Again, I thank God.

A Day with Friends

We took a road trip for the day to see Colby and his family. I can't begin to express how much we miss that little guy or his parents. It was a great day full of sugar, fun, fresh air and laughter. We will be back. Not soon enough.

 

 

 Audrey asked to join us for the day because she also misses Colby. He really does feel like part of the family. For that matter, Audrey does too.

 I can assure you this is trouble.....they were working together to decide how to get Colby up that tree.

 

 Makenna and Colby didn't miss a beat. They are rather fond of one another.

 The look on Ty's face cracks me up.....I think that flaming marshmallow concerns him a bit!

Weekend Review, The Pa-pa Edition

Approximately twelve hours before Pa-pa was due to arrive Friday, Ty started asking me to join him on "Pa-pa watch" out the window. We repeated the conversation every fifteen minutes. All day long. He was a little excited. Not twenty minutes after their arrival, Ty told Pa-pa we were out of suckers. Saturday morning, he mentioned it to Grandma. Saturday afternoon, he was taken to the grocery store for suckers. Two bags. I am not kidding. The boy only had suckers at one point because he had strep throat! I don't consider them essential. Grandma and Grandpa disagreed.

 

 

Ty was invited to Grandma and Kate's traditional tea party.  "Oops, Mom we need a towel" and the repeated sound of china hitting the floor noted his participation. Grandma's a good sport. Kate thinks she may have a future as a hairdresser.

 

Thursday and Friday we were able to keep one of the little guys I watched at school. He is adorable and my kids were rather taken by his sweet disposition. We'd love to keep him frequently.

Karston actually napped on Ty! I don't think I have ever seen him sit this still for this long!

I spent this beautiful fall day driving up I-71, taking in the colorful landscape. It was the communion I needed with God today. Dessert was meeting Kristin in Cincinnati. As a group, we promised to do it more often this year. Our last outing was in January. It isn't easy to get us all together and today was no exception. Jill had to miss to care for her husband who had surgery on Friday and Cherie found herself in the ER last night. Days like this make me wish I lived close enough to have a house full of extra boys so my friends could rest. I miss being there for them.

Living Dangerously

Anne and I took advantage of this beautiful day by taking our youngest children out for a nature walk and quick trip to an apple orchard for a few apples. Or so we thought. The nature walk lead us down this awesome little space Anne found a few months ago that allowed us to walk up to trains, explore a creek bed safely and pick up fallen leaves. It was perfect. The kids had a great time. We then decided to find a smaller scale apple orchard than our local favorite in hopes of avoiding larger crowds. We avoided crowds alright! As I pulled up a one lane road around a steep hill in the middle of nowhere, I asked Anne what she thought. At that moment, a few cows were grazing along a fence row and all seemed peaceful. As we turned into the winery/orchard, we quickly noted we were the only ones there. I made a brief reference to the movie Deliverance and Anne told me to knock it off. I giggled. I am mean like that. We got out of the car and looked around for apple trees, noting none. As we got the kids out of the van, we were greeted by a friendly dog and young man who radioed his boss letting him know he had customers. I kid you not....as we were walking up to the entrance of the winery, the young man started up a chainsaw! Anne gave me "the look" and I all but doubled over laughing. As it turns out, frost damaged the apple trees this year and we would not be picking any apples. We came home empty handed, but we came home!

 

 

 

And since I was already living on the edge, I decided it was the perfect night to try something I saw on Pinterest. I swear my husband wants to find a way to block that site from my computer.

 

 Add 1/2 cup vegetable oil to four cups flour and mix well with hands. Send children outside with homemade moon dough and kitchen gadgets. Plan on cleaning the entire house and bathing said children when they are finished because they will be covered in it.

39

A few weeks ago my dad mentioned my upcoming birthday and referenced the big 4-0. Um Dad, I'm turning 39 this year. "Oh, well...close enough", he replied. I suppose. I'll embrace 40, 50 and ultimately, God willing, 80 but for now, I'll savor what's left of my thirties. After all, no matter what my age, I am pretty blessed.

• I am a little wiser than I was in my twenties, thank God.
• Each year is defined by milestones. Some years have had an overtone of sadness. Some, pure joy. Mom called to warn me she'd be bringing something special for my birthday this weekend. She discovered Grandma already had a birthday card ready to mail me before she passed in August. I cannot adequately describe how that feels but I will treasure it.
• I pray God continues to work on me. I am a mess. 
• I love my family. No matter what life circumstances arise, I am incredibly blessed.
• I need to slow down and thoroughly enjoy my children. They are growing up much too fast.
• I have amazing friends. My lifelong girlfriends are gold. Pure gold. My local friends have quickly become as valuable. I recently read you can measure a person's worth by the number of good friends in their lives. I am rich.
• The ability to relax has become a personal goal. Seriously, I need to get over myself sometimes. 
• Ty told me his birthday comes before mine and he just turned three so I must be turning six next. I like his math. 

And finally a song I have playing in my head....This life. It really does happen in a blink. I need to slow down.

"Like my Daddy"

Kate had a date tonight. She and Aiden went to see Disney on Ice with his parents. Aiden is three so I feel okay about this. Sort of. Maybe? Anyway, as a diversion when Kate left, I took Ty out to the neighborhood construction site with his shovel and rake. He had a blast. Our neighbor was up for a spontaneous play date as well! The boys both declared independently they were digging like their daddies when told not to throw shovels full of dirt or rocks over their heads. While watching Ty use his foot to help push the shovel into the rocks and stick his tongue out when concentrating, I also thought he was digging just like his Daddy!

 

 

 

Bath time was necessary at the end but it was absolutely worth it. I suspect we'll be back soon.

When I am 100

While sitting in the salon last night, a very cute little elderly lady came in for her appointment with my beautician. She was the classiest little lady I have ever seen. When I say she was well dressed, I mean she was really well dressed. Think Anne Taylor complete with the perfect jewelry. She admired my hair and discussed if it was maybe a bit too short for her. Under normal circumstances, someone that age debating if my hair may be a bit too short for them would make me cringe because it would reflect how old I must look; however, this darling little lady was so classy, I was complimented. As she was led back to be shampooed, I asked Rose if she happened to know how old she was. SHE WAS 100! She came in with her daughter and was headed to dinner afterward! I couldn't get over it. She was adorable and I have not stopped smiling about her since. I have little hope of ever looking that put together but maybe by the time I am 100, I'll have it figured out. Apparently, my hair is on it's way without me!

Countdown

 

He asked, "how many more days until that school is done with me?" Just five sweet boy, just five. It will likely be a long week for us. The trainer will return this week to transition my room back into her care. She is legalistic about odd things and too laid back about others. I will be silently praying for one little guy who is terrified of the beds and one other child in the room. He crawls onto my lap after all the others have fallen asleep and is out within seconds. I set him in the chair and tell him I will be taking care of something and he sleeps soundly for almost an hour. Prior to our little chair routine, I spent an hour persuading a screaming toddler to lie down on his bed only to have him sleep for 15 minutes and wake up screaming again. The trainer insists the bed is necessary. She doesn't seem to think we need to protect him from the other child though. There are no victims or bullies in RIE. It's going to be a very long week. I've also broken the "no interaction" rule with the baby in the room. I can't stand to leave him lying on his back in a dim corner with tan walls. I believe babies need nurturing and interaction beyond diaper changes and bottles. Going back to ignoring his cries will be difficult. I wish I could take them home with me.

Eleventeen?

I was slaving over a bag of microwave popcorn last night after little man and I explored the creek. As Ty said, it had very tiny water in it. Anyway, I was popping popcorn to keep him occupied until the girls called to be picked up from the football game. He was counting down along with the microwave. I was stunned. This was the first time I'd heard him count, much less backward. He is rather stubborn about these things but here he was, "eighteen, seventeen, fourteen, eleven-teen, forty-teen"...okay, maybe not. But he was cute and determined none the less.

 

Erin's friends had to work last night so she took her favorite seven year old to the football game with her. It made Kate's day. They had a great time bonding.

When looking through Erin's phone to see what photos she took at the game, I noted this one from earlier in the day. It isn't often I can catch Lauren willing to be photographed so I requested it as well.

"Get out while you still have shoes!"

It was a text from my best friend the day I told her a little more about the RIE method I am supposed to be embracing in order to effectively do my job. I am a mom first. I am not a perfect mom and this journey opened my eyes. I've learned quite a bit about myself and why I parent the way I do. I am not perfect and will be doing some things differently but I cannot wrap my head around a method that allows a child to decide if and when he wants to eat, sleep or have a diaper changed.  I also can't explain why it would be okay for one child to physically express himself all over another child because he has the freedom to do so. I need to be the voice for the child who has been the target. According to RIE, by calmly removing the aggressor so he could settle down, I would be a bully. So, when confronted with my ability to embrace a theory I can't agree with so that I can be what the school needed me to be, my answer was, I cannot. I need to be a mom to my children; the ones God trusts me to raise. The ones I am nurturing and teaching right from wrong. The ones I am teaching to acknowledge their emotions and how to express them in a way society finds acceptable. I want children other people enjoy being around. The story I shared with Kristin has a child taking another child's shoes and putting them on her own feet. The shoe owner wants her shoes back but is told by the RIE facilitator that the shoes will be returned once the taker is finished with them. This is not real life. I like my neighbor's car. It runs more smoothly than mine. I'd like to take it to my sister's next month. I'll bring it back when I am finished with it. According to RIE theory, my neighbor should be fine with it. I read this in the seventh training manual I tried desperately to absorb. The next day, I was scolded for smiling at a toddler who approached me to be held. Apparently, I need to hide my emotions because toddlers have enough trouble managing their own and my smile showed judgement. I was not created to stifle smiles, laughter or the desire to give a child her own shoes.
By October 1, I am coming home and bringing Kate and Ty with me. They are thrilled. I am too. Kate's teacher begged me to let her stay even though she respects my decision. She loves her. We admire the teacher but Kate has wanted to come home since last spring. I'm looking forward it. This is not the right time for my family to have me venture into a full time position pouring into other people's children. Mine are too important. I resigned on the tenth and immediately felt relieved. I adore the little guys in my care and enjoy their families as well. This was not an easy decision but the peace I feel indicates it was the right decision.