This week

There were sleep overs

Devyn tired of waiting on naptime, crawled up onto the glider and promptly fell asleep. She's a cutie. 

Makenna was hit with a minor stomach bug in the middle of the night last weekend and Erin stumbled down the stairs to use the restroom. She was overheard complaining, "only in my house would there be a line for the bathroom at two o'clock in the morning!" True story.

Erin took Kate and Ty out for a big sis date for Mexican food but later complained they ordered chicken nuggets. Who orders chicken nuggets in a Mexican restaurant? They had a great time but at the end of their outing, Ty made this face asking, " Erin, is this creepy? Am I creeping you out? I'm really creepy".

I made this little pumpkin out of a book in a desperate attempt to avoid cleaning my house today. It is oh so cute, but I eventually had to clean anyway.

Ty had his flashlight out to investigate the inner workings of the garbage disposal one morning this week. 

Much to Greg's dismay, the kids are digging holes in the ground in front of his target. They also planted a tree there today! He's less than thrilled. They seem to have forgotten the purpose of the target.

Most construction workers wear pajamas and snow coats in October, right? It was way too cold this week. I have objected. It's made no difference. So tonight we braved the elements, sort of......

Kate Date

Kate and I participated in a local painting class together today after church.

We enjoyed the experience; however, I am not going to lie, I know why these events typically include wine. I reached the half way point of our two hour class and thought, "well, at least we had fun" because it was not looking promising. Even Kate kept saying, "I think the teacher has better brushes than us". We blamed the brushes. Yes we did.

We did have a great time and the end result appeared as though we had a clue. I think I will take another class someday.

I don't drink wine but may need to reconsider if I don't have my eight year old along to blame for the final product. Or I could always mention the brushes again......

Tough

When the going gets tough, the tough brews a cup of tea and sits down with a magazine.

Makenna and I had planned to experiment with her camera for my birthday two weeks ago. However, I am far more comfortable behind the lens and wear a haggard, non-photogenic look most often. Yoga pants don't exactly represent the way I want to be remembered even though they make up my mom uniform more days than not. Friday I decided to invest a few minutes in myself and wore real clothing. Makenna noticed and offered to take my picture. I told her she could only capture this specific moment because I didn't want to get up. She laughed and suggested I never look this relaxed so it would be an odd snapshot. It was unusual but I briefly appeared this settled on Friday and would appreciate more similar opportunities. Someday I may tolerate a real photo session.

It was a tough week around here. Erin walked out on her new job at Amazon. She had not yet followed up with CPS but returned to the comfort of Subway. Her choices created some stress in our home. I had four extra kiddos most of this rainy week and whereas they were well behaved and as sweet as usual, they added a lot of energy and volume. On top of that, my son has become a tiny terrorist of sorts loudly demanding his way at every turn. A few extra teens were here to witness said behavior the other evening and took it upon themselves to recommend spanking as a form of discipline. At that moment, the tough took a solitary walk to contain the steam that was building behind her ears. I am a direct person and struggle to find polite ways to tell someone they are being rude when they sit at my dinner table and tell me how I should be parenting my children. I know what kind of week my son had. I was there for every moment he was unsettled by the energy level. I was there when he was injured. I was there when those same teens promised a baseball game and didn't follow through. I was present when plans were changed and promises were broken. He is four. He needs compassion and words to express how he's feeling. He needs attention that isn't divided a dozen other ways. After my walk, rather than tell the teens how their choices aided in Ty's melt down, I shut myself in his room with toys and let him lead the way in imaginative play.

Even though this wasn't a particularly great week for Ty, he did have some redeeming moments. Last night, we were waiting on Erin in the mall. We'd thrown every penny I had into the fountain and ran out of entertainment that wasn't going to include him swimming in said fountain so we went looking for his sister. We found her checking out in a store. Ty was flopping and dancing all over the place to the point I finally recommended he go to the bathroom. The hurt expression that crossed his face in that instant was priceless as he exclaimed, "But Mom! These are my best dance moves!"

Yesterday he fell off the bed and was crying pretty hard. Once he calmed down, I asked him how he fell and he declared he was standing on a ball on the bed! "Buddy! I have repeatedly told you not to do that or you could get hurt!"

"But Mom, I do it lots of times and only got hurt once."  This will not be our only shiner and I may need character witnesses when CPS is called to investigate.

The Zoo

In between rain showers that weren't in the forecast for today, I took a van load of kids to the zoo.
We came...

We saw....

There may or may not have been a fence board removed immediately prior to this shot. The kid is tough. 

We had fun...

We survived.

It was a good day, but I have to share that these two have become fast friends. Cooper joined his sister, Gleason and baby brother, Maverick at our house this week because he is on fall break from kindergarten. He and Kate held hands clear through the zoo, even when it was incredibly awkward to do so.

Adorable.

Kids

Kate and Makenna were negotiating the purchase price of an iPod this evening. Kate bought it from Erin a year ago for $40. Makenna's broke and she wants to replace it with Kate's since eight year old children have no need for an iPod, but Kate drives a hard bargain. Kate offered it up for $100. Makenna countered $30. Kate refused but then offered $50 with rights to borrow it. Makenna countered $36, no borrowing privileges but added a trip to Justice together to spend her new found fortune. The sisters reached an agreement. I missed the conclusion though because I had to walk outside to laugh hysterically. The expressions on each of their faces as they haggled were priceless.

Ty was invited bowling for the first time with a neighbor this afternoon. He returned home beyond excited about his experience. He had a blast and I wish I could have joined them to see him in action. Kenna asked him how he scored and he said he "got some thirteens". Smile.

We had a new friend over this week. Ty didn't interact much with him which surprised me because Ty is always playing with neighbor kids, especially the older boys. At bedtime that night, I asked him about his new friend and he said he can't be his friend because he has bad breath. I suggested he may brush his teeth before returning. In Ty's opinion, there is no hope.  Of course the kid who swung the bat that left Ty's eye looking like this is the same friend he went bowling with today. Ty's mind never ceases to amaze me.

Decorating Pumpkins

According to Ty, it took a long time. 

 

Adventures

Ty's been on quite a few adventures lately. While helping Daddy with the drywall repair today, Ty spied a brave dragon in the attic. The dragon was not afraid of Ty's monster flashlight.

While gathering acorns at the park the other day, Ty discovered dinosaur bones. He needs to bring his shovel next time.

Buzz Lightyear has been really hot lately and insists on staying in the refrigerator or the freezer at all times. He only comes out for trips to Meijer; to insure we buy the right snacks.

These snacks came from Grandma's house though. Buzz gets upset when these types of treats aren't in Mom's cart.

He talked Erin into donuts and had to have the last one. Donuts cause belly aches. It was fun while it lasted.

On a walk this afternoon, Ty rode one of the girls' old scooters. Half way through our walk, the scooter ran out of gas. We were hard pressed to find a scooter gas station and once we realized the closest option was in our yard, he needed someone else to carry the scooter home.

Ty recently discovered he likes fishing. We've only gone once. It was a group setting for a birthday party where the little girls had pink fishing poles. He's telling everyone he wants a pink fishing pole for Christmas. Greg is less than thrilled.

He's pretty adventurous and not much slows him down but running up behind a seven year old boy swinging a metal bat made an impression this evening. Not only did Ty cry, but so did Mommy. While holding ice on his head, we chatted about joining the chess club when he's older because Mom may be embarrassing on sports fields. Is it too much to ask this be the last nasty knot on his head?  

 Most likely. 

I want to see you be brave

Fear can be life changing or life saving. Fear can hold you back or push you into action. Fear has been a powerful force bossing my daughter around for far too long. I shared briefly over a year ago how we ended up in a courtroom to let a certain ex-boyfriend of Erin's know he was no longer permitted to harass, stalk or threaten her. Fourteen peaceful months ended last week when he walked into Subway. On Tuesday, he delivered her flowers to acknowledge her final day working there. Her color drained and she walked away from him. He later texted how much he couldn't resist reaching out one last time. Flowers and a single text after fourteen months does not warrant a protection order but shook us up. Greg wants to change course on his hunting plans this week. It's always stalker season, isn't it?

This young man entered Erin's life when she was too niave to know what she'd gotten herself into or how to escape. Three weeks into their relationship, she told CJ she didn't want to see him anymore because their life views were so vastly different. His response, we found out months later was to put a knife to his throat and threaten to kill himself if she left him. Our terrified daughter stayed. We immediately knew something wasn't right and tried reaching her. She pulled further and further away from us. We texted her when she was out with him. Her answers were always short and non committal. We later learned he'd put a password on her phone. She hadn't used it to retrieve text messages in weeks. All of her friends disappeared and when Greg walked upstairs one morning to the sound of her crying on the phone and heard CJ screaming obscenities at her, he took the phone and made it very clear he would not be permitted in Erin's life treating her so poorly. We wish we'd known the fullness of the situation earlier. Erin felt trapped and terrified.Our interference scaring her further. She truly believed he'd kill himself if she left him. No matter how many times we assured her suicidal boys are dead boys and this one was just manipulative, she says to this day she would feel responsible if she found out he'd finally done it.

Since that season of Erin's life, we've noted how distant she deliberately keeps people in her life. She has not dated since that relationship ended. All the friends in her life at the time betrayed her for nasty stories intended to destroy her reputation. They were circulated by CJ. If he couldn't have her, no one else would want her as promised. School became a nightmare she wanted desperately to escape. We seriously considered allowing her to live with my parents in Ohio for a fresh start but knew social media prevents anyone from truly starting over in this day and age.

So, as high school finally ended and college plans needed to be secured, Erin hid from life. She remained anonymous for months and her social life was pretty quiet. She will take college courses in January because we've convinced her she has no other choice in the matter. But today life took a turn for the better and Erin has a bounce in her step. A regular customer in Subway gave his card to Erin's manager and asked for Erin to come see him for an interview. He is the director of our local Child Protective Services office. He watched Erin battle stressful situations with a smile. He saw her interact with large groups of demanding school children with humor and grace. He noted that anyone can be trained to do a job but her personality for his line of work is tough to come by. But, he assumed Erin was 25! They talked at length today and he wants her to apply for a position on his team next week. If he can convince Human Resources to hire her at age 18, she will have her foot in the door in her career choice! If not, he wants her in school pursuing her degree and promises to keep in touch.

Erin went from seeing college as a waste of time to realizing in a matter of hours she needs it to make the difference in the world she wants to make. Erin has always maintained she wants to be the voice for the truly helpless. She's questioned her own judgement far too much since CJ entered her life. This man walking into her life today with no prior knowledge of her passions convinced her to pursue them and gave her hope. I can see it in her eyes.

The kids and I sing our hearts out when "Brave" is on the radio. Kate is learning the sign language to go along with it. I want to see my girls be brave. I want to see them willing to take chances when it comes to making a difference. I want to see them embrace the gifts God's given them and use them to make positive changes in the world.  I want to see them all be brave.

Tonight she is in orientation with Amazon. She chose to follow through with that plan since it only came about yesterday! Her final day at Subway was Tuesday. She landed a new job on Wednesday. She was offered a job with UPS as she left her Amazon interview with an offer and was pursued for yet another opportunity today! If CPS works out, she will leave Amazon but either way, college with a purpose will begin in a few months.

Surprises

Early Saturday morning, we headed to Ohio to help my parents tear down their deck and pool. Mom called last week to invite me to join her for a birthday dinner Saturday evening even though we had a lot of work to do. As it turns out, Mother Nature deleted working plans that afternoon and evening anyway. We cleaned up and headed to Donatos to pick up pizza for everyone else before embarking upon our mini celebration. While waiting in the drive thru line, I recognized a familiar car and was straining a bit to see if it was in fact the car I thought it was when Kristin, Jill and Cherie approached us. I was beyond surprised. I was kidnapped and my mom was responsible. She went back to the house to have pizza while I went out for dinner and dessert with these incredible women. I was completely shocked and repeated far too often, "I can't believe you are all here!" It has been a very long time since we were all together. The night was perfect.

On Sunday we hoped to make up for our rain-out on Saturday afternoon but was instead met with monsoon level rains and the entire work day was lost. Lauren and Erin stayed home this trip to maintain their own jobs. Mid-morning, Lauren called worried she was seeing a wet spot on the ceiling in her room.

She texted a photo confirming. While Greg and I considered our next move, I was able to reach a dear friend who will remain nameless. That friend crawled across rafters in my attic to investigate the source of our leak. She pulled all the saturated insulation away from the spot and bagged it for us. She determined we didn't have an active leak because it was raining throughout her investigation and nothing further was dripping from the roof. While she was on the phone with me and I was gushing my appreciation, she mis-gauged the amount of weight she placed onto the wet ceiling and her arm went through. She was horrified and upset. I couldn't stop laughing. I did ask her to get out of the attic before she was injured but assured her this was not a big deal and easily repaired. She is still upset.

I let Greg know what happened and he also laughed, relieved it was an issue that could wait until he returned home as scheduled later in the week. Sunday evening was perfect hot tub weather and the sun showed up long enough to set. It was gorgeous and provided a hint we'd finally have a solid work day on Monday.

Monday arrived with cool temperatures and clear skies. We had a lot of work to accomplish in a very short time. All four adults worked until they couldn't move any further. Even the little ones contributed for a few minutes. The entire deck was removed as well as the pool liner. In a moment of frustration, Greg tossed a support post he had fought for entirely too long across the yard and knocked out a privacy fence board. My dad started yelling through laughter, "Dude, not those! We have enough wood to remove back here! Let's leave the fence!" Greg later retorted, "I like your knickers" while we all laughed once again. The mud made the job far more challenging than necessary and we weren't yet finished when I had to leave but overall, despite the weather, a few set backs and minor injuries it was a successful trip.

For the record, Dad doesn't make looking like this a habit. He was in the pool while the liner was being ripped out. Thanks to all the rain and and pump that couldn't keep up, he was wading through water at one point in our day. 

I hit the road after dinner Monday and four and a half hours later finally pulled into our driveway exhausted. Construction delays, road blocks and potty breaks creating a much longer drive than expected. Surprise! Again.

Someone couldn't stop playing at Grandpa's house long enough to eat dinner and took it with him. Five minutes after leaving Grandpa's, he was sound asleep and remained that way until 6:50 this morning when I woke up to him, "organizing (his) tools" in his bedroom. This little man is his father's child. 

This evening Greg sent this shot to show what he helped accomplish today while I babysat five extra little ones, mowed the yard, grocery shopped and washed the muddy laundry. Believe me, he still wins for toughest work load. That pool was installed over 20 years ago and had no intention of leaving anytime soon. It put up a fight worth noting. Helping my parents prepare for retirement and relocation away from the area I still consider home left me a bit somber as I departed last evening. I suppose over time, wherever my family lands will be home but for now, this mud pit of a back yard holds a lot of precious memories.

A day of promise

I don't recall ever seeing a more vibrant rainbow first thing in the morning. A stunning sunrise awakening this day. I can only imagine it will be a great day full of promise.

Makenna joined her older sisters and acquired eye glasses. We are currently beefing up our health savings account but she looks pretty cute and promises they will help her succeed in school.

Boys!

Last evening, I took Ty, Kate and Erin with me to Makenna's choir concert. Ty panicked as we entered the theater because he was afraid it might be scary. I assured him there wasn't anything to be afraid of; however, Ty sat through the concert with his hands over his ears anyway. They sounded great despite my son's reaction.

A few weeks ago, Greg walked up behind me in the kitchen and seasoned food I had just prepared. I asked him what he was doing and he answered, "helping you". Thanks but I just finished seasoning that food and didn't think it needed more. Did you taste it first? He answered that he hadn't and I very calmly asked him if he could use words the next time he wanted to help so that I could perhaps direct him toward a task that would indeed be helpful.

This morning, Ty and I had a discussion about our upcoming trip to Grandma and Grandpa's house. He wants them to come to our house instead. I pointed out the purpose of the visit is to help Grandma and Grandpa tear down their pool and deck so we have to go there this time. Ty first analyzed he hadn't eaten enough vegetables lately to be strong enough to help. I pointed out that we would use saws and hammers to break the wood and then he could carry it to the trash. He took off in a flash to gather his tools and was ready to leave immediately. He has the tools to help after all. By the way, if you have eaten your veggies and are willing to help this weekend, stop by! We won't be out and about socializing this trip but would welcome more muscles to the task if you want to see us.

On Sunday, I went to church and Greg stayed behind with teens who's schedules overlapped my volunteer hours. I made a list of things I needed to achieve that day to be prepared for the week ahead. Greg noted the list and had the kids help clean the house before I returned. It was a wonderful surprise. I was grateful and he scored major points. However, I noted over the next couple of days some really unusual streaking on the entertainment center. I finally asked Greg this morning what product he used to dust the furniture. A sheepish expression quickly passed over his face before he asked me why I wanted to know. I mentioned the streaks, trying to keep my voice very accepting because only an idiot would discourage people from dusting the house for her. He slowly answered, "Amour-all so dust won't stick to it". I casually walked out of the room, took a few deep breaths and then walked back in where I again remained very calm and requested he use his words when he wants to help.

My son helps me gain a deeper understanding of my husband. They want to help. They want to use tools to make jobs easier and more effective. They think differently than their female counterparts. I love them both dearly. Now if you will excuse me, I need to Google how to remove Armour-all from entertainment centers.

So this is 40

I spent my day cleaning, chasing babies, running kids and nurturing my family. Makenna's choir concert wrapped up my evening. I am a regular party animal. In between spills and tantrums, my phone buzzed repeatedly with happy birthday texts and phone calls. Facebook flooded with well wishes too. I am pretty darn blessed.

As I approached my 40th year, I started thinking about who am I beyond a mom and wife. I am still seeking more fullness to that answer but I am comfortable in my skin, nurturing and life giving. Worrying about being accepted is no longer something I make much time to consider. Praise God for that growth as it was a long time coming. Of course, with that growth came the realization that there are people who no longer fit in my life. And that is okay as well. Relationships that tear down are best left unfed; people pleasing being a habit I needed to let go.

My relationship with Jesus is evolving. He still challenges me, pushes me and equips me to love deeper than I believe my heart alone is capable. There are times I ride the ebb and flow of life alongside Jesus well. Then there are seasons when I think we aren't communicating well. Those moments are unpleasant but appear necessary for my life's journey.

I have been married almost half my life and have lived with Greg longer than I lived with my parents. I look at Erin and wonder what we were thinking, but growing up together worked for us. He is the laid back partner in this marriage for sure but I am slowly letting go and enjoying life more than being busy. It's a process. I am pleased to be entering what I assume is the second half of my life determined to loosen up rather than dig my heels more deeply into patterns and routines. Make no mistake, I still thrive on routine but tend to linger more as I choose to embrace moments.

I find joy in simple pleasures. A good book, tea and dinner with a friend being among my most favorite ways to invest in me. As my dad so eloquently stated, my thirties are now dead. The forty year old me is comfortable and content.

Ty picked dandelions that have gone to seed for me today so I would have something to blow out even though he was rather irritated with me for having a birthday. He needs one to get his five and was convinced it was his turn again. If it weren't bittersweet to see my kids growing up so quickly, I would let him have mine from now on. I think forty suits me.