Ryan's Story

Lauren got upset at school on Monday because her peers were laughing about drug abuse as they prepared for a mock trial they're presenting in class Friday. She needed a break as this has been an ongoing observation and something she hadn't been comfortable speaking out against for fear of judgment as a "goody-goody". One of her advisers noted she needed a break and allowed her some time away from her studio and then inquired as to why this topic upsets her so much. She shared Ryan's story and felt like it was time to finally say something. Her advisers empowered her to put together a presentation and invited all three studios to join the discussion. She spoke in front of 100 or so peers this morning. I'd like to take a second to mention that she was unable to do a group presentation a few weeks ago for biology because she's never spoken in front of anyone. This was clearly something she felt was important. I went in to support her and was amazed once again by her school and came away as proud as ever of Lauren. 

Lauren's words:

I know everyone thinks it is cool to laugh about drugs and no one wants to listen to adults who think they know everything but I don't laugh and I don't think it's funny. People who use drugs hurt the people who care about them. They hurt people when they don't mean to. Their decisions effect others whether they realize it or not. I want to tell you my story. When I was six years old, my family was really close to another family in our church. We were in the same gymnastics, preschool and cheer leading groups with their kids and our families spent a lot of time together. They had three kids and we had three kids. I was in the middle of two sisters. The mom got pregnant during that time and the baby did not belong to her husband. She asked us to adopt her baby. We were really excited, especially once we found out he was a boy. We named him Ryan and planned his room and bought him a few things. Ryan was born three months early on December 20, 2003 and only weighed one pound two ounces and was ten inches long. He was so sick I was never able to see him in the hospital.  We found out when he was born that his birth mom was addicted to drugs and that is why he was born early and was so sick. He died nine days later. I miss the little brother I was supposed to have. I know he was supposed to have a life with our family and we loved him as our own. Some days are still hard on all of us. So, this is why I can't joke around about drugs. This is why I can't do drugs. This is why it matters so much to me that my friends take care of themselves and not do drugs. I hope Ryan's story makes a difference and people will stop and think before they take drugs. Your decisions affect more than just you. The baby ring I wear around my neck is Ryan's. I know some of you have asked me about it but I just said it was my brother's. I thought it was private but now I think I need to say more so maybe more people will think of him and not take drugs.

She was amazing, strong, poised and started a dialog with her peers that lasted an hour. I was grieved hearing some of these young teens talk of addiction in their families and personal lives. Several stated how long they have been clean after starting drugs in elementary school with their parents. Some admitted to using now. The stories were tragic and authentic. I loved watching them trust their advisers enough to be honest. The advisers were also great about re-capping at certain intervals in order to make points about destroying relationships, throwing away dreams and ruining their bodies for a temporary high. A few articulate teens were able to share reports they've studied on the brain's chemical response to "artificial highs" from drugs and how the "natural high" our brains have naturally is destroyed by drug use, leading to addiction because eventually you can't be happy or pain free without that drug in your system. I could go on and on. These kids were incredible. Like Lauren, I think Ryan's story should be told. It may not impact everyone but if we tell his story perhaps we can see meaning beyond our personal grief. How amazing is our God?  Eight years later using our sadness to speak to the hearts of teens.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28