So I've held my first garage sale... Theresa had a garage full of things she needed to sell and living in the country does not make a garage sale profitable. So, we jumped in on the community garage sale bandwagon. It was a decent money maker given the threat of rain and how little I had to contribute. I was a little sad seeing all the baby clothes Ty will never wear again lined up on the table. The dishonest few surprised me though....why on earth is integrity getting so difficult to find? We had a few things stolen. Anyway, throughout the course of the day I had a friend ask me if Theresa was my daughter and another neighbor thought my mother was my sister.....I wish I had been surprised.
Who is that old woman looking at me in the mirror? I honestly get caught off guard sometimes when I catch a quick glance of myself. I have aged so much in just a few years. Our last family photo will be four years old at the end of the month and I think I look at least a decade younger in it. As I think back I realize that I grew through a lot of challenging life circumstances where I allowed God to carry me. The journey was so overwhelming that I had no choice but to fully rely on God. Now that life is more "settled" and we are only dealing with daily annoyances and smaller life issues, I tend to think I am taking it all on myself and waiting on the big stuff to have God take off my shoulders. The aging process shows that system isn't working out very well for me. I remember being told that I looked like I had joy in my life when I was balancing Greg's ongoing medical needs after his accident while caring for a newborn, three year old and five year old. I don't see that joy reflected anymore. I can only work on my heart and hope to finally allow God to take the reigns (Let's all just pretend this is a new idea and not a re-run theme in my life!) As for my faith in others, I am trying to find balance in boundaries, love, grace and truth.....it's also a journey.