Sweet Sixteen

We went to Dayton a few weeks ago to celebrate Christmas with Greg's family and since we were all together, took a balloon to leave at Ryan's grave. The moment was harder than any of us expected given the spontaneity of the occasion.

This year, I found myself needing to honor Ryan's birthday earlier. By November, I was already consciously saying yes to most every opportunity to serve others. I needed to do something and rather than spin my wheels on a project I wasn't passionate about or wallow, I simply said yes. From shopping for local homeless, selecting kiddos on angel trees, inviting people over for a hot meal when I really wanted to be a hermit, to keeping a baby on what was supposed to be a day off, I said yes. Finding ways to honor Ryan's birth has transformed from the early years of toys for tots to recent years of feeding a single mom and providing diapers to purchasing long underwear to help warm homeless men. This is what heals my broken heart. Otherwise, how it is that I am to accept that it has been sixteen years since I held him in my arms; the perfect, tiny boy who taught me so much about grace, forgiveness, unconditional love and redemption? Despite the pain, God is still good but my son is immensely missed because he was so loved. I suppose sixteen is much sweeter in heaven; I just long for a glimpse of him from here.

Happy birthday Ryan Patrick.

This Week

This week we sent Lauren, Taylor and Austin back to Georgia. That goodbye was tough.

Layla had surgery to remove a mass from her leg. We will have biopsy results in a week or so that will tell us if the cancer was contained. Her bloodwork was excellent and that gives us hope. She was no worse for the wear after surgery and has chosen to disregard post-op instructions stating she needs ten days of rest. Of course she has.

We hosted our small group on Thursday and one family surprised us with snacks and a small ornament exchange to spread a little holiday cheer. The sweetness of the gesture was not lost on us.

Kate started physical therapy for her concussion and the therapist has high hope for her recovery. This photo showed up in my timehop this week and it took me back nine years in an instant.

Ty and I had a sick day together and because Ty was vomiting, he scored a second sick day. The twenty-four hour bug was intense as we both hurt from head to toe and couldn't get near enough sleep. We are quite happy to be on this side of it.

Saturday we helped pack meals for local homeless and for the first time, I took the kids. At one point, I stood back and watched Ty carefully pack a bag. He was so selective about what he chose, giving each item quite a bit of thought. He had some questions that evening and wonders about a fundraiser he could do with his not yet famous YouTube channel.

Tonight we were supposed to have our annual Christmas light scavenger hunt but the weather didn't cooperate. A Christmas movie night snuggled together was the perfect replacement plan.

Baughman Family Christmas

Ten of us made the round trip drive to Dayton today to celebrate Christmas with Greg's family. Lauren was excited to introduce Austin to the farm and it's tractors. He loved it. The rest of us enjoyed Carol's sweet treats and watching Austin adore cousin Lexie. She is pretty cute and was so very good with Austin.

Sibling Christmas Sleepover

Recreating old family snapshots was hilarious and listening to them reminisce while we planned was the highlight. Throughout the seasons of my parenting journey, I hoped they'd choose to be friends as adults and count it a serious win they are so close. 

Ty drew Kate's name this year and has been beside himself with excitement over the gift he selected for her. Kate loves it as much as he knew she would. I love watching them all process what to get each other every year. Our budget has been $30 and Makenna proposed knocking down to $10 next year to make it more challenging. I am not sure everyone will be in board but they always work the details out on their own.