Ahoy Matey! Ty got his 5!

Shiver me timbers! We've been invaded by a band of pirates! They pillaged our loot and hoisted our booty.

Scallywag=small child prone to mischief.

Our plank required a water feature today. It was hot! The kids loved the sprinkler supplying "hurricane conditions"

 

 Blimey! Me had a good time!

Ty's buddy brought his 3 week old baby brother with him. We were all quite smitten.

Ty chose to have his cousins and three special friends celebrate his birthday. He still won't allow anyone to sing to him and really doesn't appreciate being the center of attention but had a blast. He is now officially a complete handful!

Vacation Week

We spent Greg's vacation week being intentional about family time. There were large family meals for lunch, little projects completed and evenings around the bonfire where Kate and Ty collected lightening bugs for the first time. I realized I am the bedtime police and need to back off a bit....how can Kate be nine and catching lightening bugs for the FIRST time? Ty's face was full of joy and surprise each and every bug. The teens were lounging in the yard with us and every one of them commented later about his sweet face full of amazement.

Grandma Carol and Grandpa Dale gave Ty  a glo fish tank for his upcoming birthday. He's pretty pleased.

There were rainbows, a new aquarium, an anniversary date and the kids went fishing with Lauren's friends. Togetherness was the theme and we feel charged and ready for the next season in our lives called, "Back to School" even though I am still shaking my head at it's rude interruption of summer.

Under the heading of back to school, we have a big announcement. After a few conversations and a meeting with our local elementary school principal, we've enrolled Kate as a third grader. She is excited and ready to make more friends. Miss Social has lacked the daily interaction with peers she craves. After discussing her academics, petite size and social challenges with the principal, we agreed not only on a third grade placement over fourth, but on a very kind and happy teacher named Mrs. Cox. After meeting Mrs. Cox and the principal, I have wondered to an extend why I have been so opposed to public school for my little ones. This is a much happier building than the one we dealt with in Ohio. The people who work here clearly like their jobs and love the kids. I still don't appreciate testing or common core but have set aside my reservations about those issues for now. Each child is an individual and overall, I think this is the best choice for Kate.

White and dark chocolate with fruit and gluten free brownies? Yes please!

Greg and I indulged in dessert at the Melting Pot for our anniversary. It was beyond pleasant and Greg was surprised he enjoyed the experience. It was nice to linger over coffee and tea to chat about some of our big life decisions. We settled the schooling debate, made a church commitment and agreed to update my camera in one conversation. It's amazing what can be accomplished with uninterrupted conversation! At the end of our date, we were called home to perform our first fish funeral. Thankfully our son doesn't appear to be too sentimental about fish yet and eagerly flushed Princess Peach once she was scooped out of the tank.

We've had several doctor appointments and a trip to the ER without answers to Lauren's stomach issues. It's frustrating to see a teen in so much pain she can't move but not have a clue what to do about it. The medical opinions are vastly different and work in contrast of one another.

This week, Erin had to get all the vaccines I have avoided over the years because she is enrolled in a medical program. I am more than relieved I bowed out of that appointment and Justin had to be there to listen to her cry and complain about shots. He is a good guy but has had a blast laughing at her reaction to the vaccines. She is a little dramatic, to say the least. I am fairly certain I need to find a new doctor to avoid making eye contact with the staff who had to deal with that one!

Look closely and you will see a second rainbow. It was a gorgeous evening.

I renewed my commitment to eliminate sugar from my diet for a season after our anniversary date. It's been 48 long hours. That stuff is so addicting! My inflammation has been increasing despite being off grains for a full year now so I knew what I had to do. Knowing and doing are vastly different. I really want some chocolate. Really. Want. Chocolate. 

Our weekend promises to hold more of the same. We have two birthday parties, school clothes shopping, church and lunch at my favorite Cuban restaurant on the agenda. It should prove to be the perfect ending to a great week.

We Still Do

Twenty years ago we said, "I do". We were oh so young had no clue. Growing up together has worked for us; the old soul who requires order and structure with the relaxed, easy-going partner who simply loves but it hasn't always been easy. We quietly argue but quickly make up. We live without regrets, loyal to each other and the family in which we have been blessed. If I could turn back the clock and talk to that young bride before she made her commitment, I would have some advice since I now view weddings through the eyes of the parents rather than the bride. Age and experience are on my side.

A letter to my twenty year old self,

You are about to make a commitment unlike any decision you have ever made before. You are promising to love this man every day throughout eternity. Go ahead and consent to the name change. It's important to him. Stop stewing about letting go of your maiden name. You are being selfish. You will choose to love him despite his annoying habits, his dirty laundry (and girl, it will be dirty because he likes to work outside and his first job after the wedding will be with a plumbing company), his sense of humor that will sometimes miss the mark and how easily he will recline on Sunday afternoons despite your growing to-do lists. He will make you laugh until you cry almost daily. He will be seriously injured and it will terrify you to realize how easily you could lose him. He will love you deeply and passionately, even when you and your know-it-all attitude are anything but loving. He will cherish you but won't buy you flowers no matter how many times you write it on his list of things to do.

He likes what he likes and is hesitant to try new things, especially foods. Stick with the basics but encourage grilling as early as possible. That little hobby will be the gift that will keep giving! Embrace midnight omelets. For everything he is not in the romance department, the way to his heart is through his stomach. Besides, it's as close to breakfast in bed you will get. Some of the deepest conversations will take place over those omelets.

He likes to be praised. He loves to rub your back and read your writing but isn't the best listener. Try to be patient; after all, you too fail to listen as attentively as you should. As you grieve the loss of babies unborn or born too soon, he will first care for you and cope with his loss once you are standing again. You will grieve together but know that it will look differently for each of you and that is okay.

Set boundaries with your extended family early. In fact, elope. It is what you really want anyway. That wedding will not be about you so you shouldn't feel obligated to provide it. And then there will be holidays. Sister I can tell you this will be an on-going bone of contention. It is best to put your foot down early. Preserve that time. Don't spend it running all over creation because your kids should come first. And speaking of kids, don't invest too much stock in the effectiveness of birth control. It's a joke only God gets but I can assure you that you will love every one of His little surprises despite the plans you have made. Trust me, it will be good for you to learn sooner rather than later that you control very little in life as a whole so go with it. It all works out in the end.

Marriage isn't easy. It takes effort. You have likely heard a good marriage is a 50/50 compromise but I challenge that theory. Marriage takes 100% from each of you, all the time. There will be hard days when you don't like each other very much. There will be draining seasons of endless repairs, empty bank accounts and sick kids when the mere idea of loving one another is nauseating but trust me, it is more than worthwhile. God will use this marriage to grow you and mold you into woman He has called you to be. You are blessed to be loved by this man. Cherish him. He loves you more than he will ever express in words but you can rely on a daily love note in the way of a cup of tea as you peel your eyes open each morning. This man is your man. Keep him. Love him. Encourage him. Your marriage is worth every bit of the hard work.

And finally, don't take life too seriously. You have a best friend who loves you unconditionally. Celebrate the little things and cherish the life God's blessed you with.

Photo credit Makenna Baughman who only gagged three times during our mini photo session

The Decision.

She's been through a lot. Her choices were not wise and she's struggled with the consequences. Eliminating the boyfriend and his influence has been a process in which she's grown and learned a lot about her own strength. After a needed week away for church camp, she returned determined to rededicate her life to Christ. This morning she asked her friend Sydney to re-baptize her. Sydney has faithfully prayed over Lauren and encouraged her with scripture throughout the last year and a half. At one point she was on Lauren's last nerve but we thank God for Sydney and so does Lauren. God used her to love Lauren back to her roots and away from the destruction of an unhealthy relationship.

"Your love never fails and never gives up, never runs out on me" is the refrain in the song we sang just prior to Lauren's baptism. It brought me to tears. You can hear a version of it here. It is a beautiful reminder. God's hand remains on our precious daughter.

The move.

We helped my parents move out of their house today. Eight years ago this same weekend, Greg and I moved out of our house in the same town. Englewood still feels like home to me so clearing out that house feels like the end of a good book. Whereas there were tearful good-byes on our end, Theresa and her family were celebrating in London, Kentucky as Mom and Dad arrived to start retirement in their new home. We cried in the driveway but they had banners, balloons and a party of family waiting. Mom and Dad now have the support of Theresa's in-laws who've embraced their arrival.

Ty was unsettled and unsure what to make of all this and sought comfort frequently.

He was also overwhelmed by his first exposure to fireworks last night. He claims he liked them but couldn't eat his favorite custard until after the show.

Walking to the fireworks brought back memories and I reconciled it would in fact be our final walk down Union Road. I am at peace but not without some sadness. Englewood is no longer my home.

Good friends came to help load the truck and Kristin referred her neighbor boys for additional support. The house was completely vacant within two and a half hours. It was the smoothest move I have ever witnessed. Most everyone worked hard; however, Kate was there to party.

After our tearful send-off, we headed to Greg's parent's for lunch and a mini birthday celebration for Ty who is turning 5 next week.

 

We arrived home this evening dirty, exhausted and content. Theresa and Jamie are grilling dinner for all his brothers who showed up to make short work of the moving truck. My parents have a new home and a location for us to spend more extended time with my family. Change is hard but I suspect, this change is good.

S'more Family Time

Parenting

armed and dangerous

My friend called for some advice concerning her obstinate three year old. She has repeatedly requested I write a book which amuses me. All three year old children have the power to reduce the strongest of mommas to tears at times. They are a force to be reckoned with and I don't presume to be an expert by any stretch of the imagination but have had some experience in this particular department so I gave the usual sales pitch. Three year old people need to feel they are in control of their world. Have you ever taken a preschooler to the creek and allowed them to throw rocks? They can do it for hours, mesmerized by the power to make a splash. I assure you they want to make a splash in all circumstances and your reaction to his behavior is a splash. First, give him as much control as possible. Rather than command, "put on your shoes". Ask him which pair he would like to wear and then accept the cowboy boots with shorts as an expression of his individuality. Let go of as much control as you can. He is learning to make choices and live with the consequences of those choices. His feet may hurt if he doesn't wear the gym shoes, but he had the power to choose and that is developmentally more important in the long run. We don't want teens who simply do as they are told and fail think for themselves. We don't want adults who lack the ability to make choices and accept consequences. It is hard work growing people and patience is required.

More so than offering choices, give warnings when you need to change activities. Consider how you would feel if someone walked up and abruptly turned off your computer while you read this. You'd be irritated. How is a three year old supposed to handle you swooping him off his feet while he stacks blocks because you have determined it to be bath time?

Remain as emotionally neutral as possible when you are forced to correct behavior. Obviously we don't hit our sister but screaming that we don't hit is not necessarily sending the same message a calm mother sends as she firmly reminds him and removes him from the scene. Besides, you are teaching him how to say no. That is an important skill in and of itself. Finally, take lots of deep breaths and spend time with him simply playing. He is growing, learning and gaining independence. He's working hard and tired too.

I said all of these things while hiding in my garage so my friend would not hear my nine and four year old children screaming at each other over a stuffed animal. What should I title that particular chapter? And is nap time long enough to write such a chapter?

The Haircut

My son dreads haircuts. Rosie's salon required time alone with his blanket as he waited his turn today.

But once he silently submitted, he appreciated Rosie's candy basket. With both blanket and sucker in hand, our little cowboy/super hero was ready to show off his awesome haircut. 

Ty: Mom, why do people fake run?
Me: What?
Ty: Why do people fake run? You know, like that guy in the green shirt.
Me: Honey, that is called jogging and people do it for exercise.
Ty: That's weird.