Kids

Kate and Makenna were negotiating the purchase price of an iPod this evening. Kate bought it from Erin a year ago for $40. Makenna's broke and she wants to replace it with Kate's since eight year old children have no need for an iPod, but Kate drives a hard bargain. Kate offered it up for $100. Makenna countered $30. Kate refused but then offered $50 with rights to borrow it. Makenna countered $36, no borrowing privileges but added a trip to Justice together to spend her new found fortune. The sisters reached an agreement. I missed the conclusion though because I had to walk outside to laugh hysterically. The expressions on each of their faces as they haggled were priceless.

Ty was invited bowling for the first time with a neighbor this afternoon. He returned home beyond excited about his experience. He had a blast and I wish I could have joined them to see him in action. Kenna asked him how he scored and he said he "got some thirteens". Smile.

We had a new friend over this week. Ty didn't interact much with him which surprised me because Ty is always playing with neighbor kids, especially the older boys. At bedtime that night, I asked him about his new friend and he said he can't be his friend because he has bad breath. I suggested he may brush his teeth before returning. In Ty's opinion, there is no hope.  Of course the kid who swung the bat that left Ty's eye looking like this is the same friend he went bowling with today. Ty's mind never ceases to amaze me.

Decorating Pumpkins

According to Ty, it took a long time. 

 

Adventures

Ty's been on quite a few adventures lately. While helping Daddy with the drywall repair today, Ty spied a brave dragon in the attic. The dragon was not afraid of Ty's monster flashlight.

While gathering acorns at the park the other day, Ty discovered dinosaur bones. He needs to bring his shovel next time.

Buzz Lightyear has been really hot lately and insists on staying in the refrigerator or the freezer at all times. He only comes out for trips to Meijer; to insure we buy the right snacks.

These snacks came from Grandma's house though. Buzz gets upset when these types of treats aren't in Mom's cart.

He talked Erin into donuts and had to have the last one. Donuts cause belly aches. It was fun while it lasted.

On a walk this afternoon, Ty rode one of the girls' old scooters. Half way through our walk, the scooter ran out of gas. We were hard pressed to find a scooter gas station and once we realized the closest option was in our yard, he needed someone else to carry the scooter home.

Ty recently discovered he likes fishing. We've only gone once. It was a group setting for a birthday party where the little girls had pink fishing poles. He's telling everyone he wants a pink fishing pole for Christmas. Greg is less than thrilled.

He's pretty adventurous and not much slows him down but running up behind a seven year old boy swinging a metal bat made an impression this evening. Not only did Ty cry, but so did Mommy. While holding ice on his head, we chatted about joining the chess club when he's older because Mom may be embarrassing on sports fields. Is it too much to ask this be the last nasty knot on his head?  

 Most likely. 

I want to see you be brave

Fear can be life changing or life saving. Fear can hold you back or push you into action. Fear has been a powerful force bossing my daughter around for far too long. I shared briefly over a year ago how we ended up in a courtroom to let a certain ex-boyfriend of Erin's know he was no longer permitted to harass, stalk or threaten her. Fourteen peaceful months ended last week when he walked into Subway. On Tuesday, he delivered her flowers to acknowledge her final day working there. Her color drained and she walked away from him. He later texted how much he couldn't resist reaching out one last time. Flowers and a single text after fourteen months does not warrant a protection order but shook us up. Greg wants to change course on his hunting plans this week. It's always stalker season, isn't it?

This young man entered Erin's life when she was too niave to know what she'd gotten herself into or how to escape. Three weeks into their relationship, she told CJ she didn't want to see him anymore because their life views were so vastly different. His response, we found out months later was to put a knife to his throat and threaten to kill himself if she left him. Our terrified daughter stayed. We immediately knew something wasn't right and tried reaching her. She pulled further and further away from us. We texted her when she was out with him. Her answers were always short and non committal. We later learned he'd put a password on her phone. She hadn't used it to retrieve text messages in weeks. All of her friends disappeared and when Greg walked upstairs one morning to the sound of her crying on the phone and heard CJ screaming obscenities at her, he took the phone and made it very clear he would not be permitted in Erin's life treating her so poorly. We wish we'd known the fullness of the situation earlier. Erin felt trapped and terrified.Our interference scaring her further. She truly believed he'd kill himself if she left him. No matter how many times we assured her suicidal boys are dead boys and this one was just manipulative, she says to this day she would feel responsible if she found out he'd finally done it.

Since that season of Erin's life, we've noted how distant she deliberately keeps people in her life. She has not dated since that relationship ended. All the friends in her life at the time betrayed her for nasty stories intended to destroy her reputation. They were circulated by CJ. If he couldn't have her, no one else would want her as promised. School became a nightmare she wanted desperately to escape. We seriously considered allowing her to live with my parents in Ohio for a fresh start but knew social media prevents anyone from truly starting over in this day and age.

So, as high school finally ended and college plans needed to be secured, Erin hid from life. She remained anonymous for months and her social life was pretty quiet. She will take college courses in January because we've convinced her she has no other choice in the matter. But today life took a turn for the better and Erin has a bounce in her step. A regular customer in Subway gave his card to Erin's manager and asked for Erin to come see him for an interview. He is the director of our local Child Protective Services office. He watched Erin battle stressful situations with a smile. He saw her interact with large groups of demanding school children with humor and grace. He noted that anyone can be trained to do a job but her personality for his line of work is tough to come by. But, he assumed Erin was 25! They talked at length today and he wants her to apply for a position on his team next week. If he can convince Human Resources to hire her at age 18, she will have her foot in the door in her career choice! If not, he wants her in school pursuing her degree and promises to keep in touch.

Erin went from seeing college as a waste of time to realizing in a matter of hours she needs it to make the difference in the world she wants to make. Erin has always maintained she wants to be the voice for the truly helpless. She's questioned her own judgement far too much since CJ entered her life. This man walking into her life today with no prior knowledge of her passions convinced her to pursue them and gave her hope. I can see it in her eyes.

The kids and I sing our hearts out when "Brave" is on the radio. Kate is learning the sign language to go along with it. I want to see my girls be brave. I want to see them willing to take chances when it comes to making a difference. I want to see them embrace the gifts God's given them and use them to make positive changes in the world.  I want to see them all be brave.

Tonight she is in orientation with Amazon. She chose to follow through with that plan since it only came about yesterday! Her final day at Subway was Tuesday. She landed a new job on Wednesday. She was offered a job with UPS as she left her Amazon interview with an offer and was pursued for yet another opportunity today! If CPS works out, she will leave Amazon but either way, college with a purpose will begin in a few months.

Surprises

Early Saturday morning, we headed to Ohio to help my parents tear down their deck and pool. Mom called last week to invite me to join her for a birthday dinner Saturday evening even though we had a lot of work to do. As it turns out, Mother Nature deleted working plans that afternoon and evening anyway. We cleaned up and headed to Donatos to pick up pizza for everyone else before embarking upon our mini celebration. While waiting in the drive thru line, I recognized a familiar car and was straining a bit to see if it was in fact the car I thought it was when Kristin, Jill and Cherie approached us. I was beyond surprised. I was kidnapped and my mom was responsible. She went back to the house to have pizza while I went out for dinner and dessert with these incredible women. I was completely shocked and repeated far too often, "I can't believe you are all here!" It has been a very long time since we were all together. The night was perfect.

On Sunday we hoped to make up for our rain-out on Saturday afternoon but was instead met with monsoon level rains and the entire work day was lost. Lauren and Erin stayed home this trip to maintain their own jobs. Mid-morning, Lauren called worried she was seeing a wet spot on the ceiling in her room.

She texted a photo confirming. While Greg and I considered our next move, I was able to reach a dear friend who will remain nameless. That friend crawled across rafters in my attic to investigate the source of our leak. She pulled all the saturated insulation away from the spot and bagged it for us. She determined we didn't have an active leak because it was raining throughout her investigation and nothing further was dripping from the roof. While she was on the phone with me and I was gushing my appreciation, she mis-gauged the amount of weight she placed onto the wet ceiling and her arm went through. She was horrified and upset. I couldn't stop laughing. I did ask her to get out of the attic before she was injured but assured her this was not a big deal and easily repaired. She is still upset.

I let Greg know what happened and he also laughed, relieved it was an issue that could wait until he returned home as scheduled later in the week. Sunday evening was perfect hot tub weather and the sun showed up long enough to set. It was gorgeous and provided a hint we'd finally have a solid work day on Monday.

Monday arrived with cool temperatures and clear skies. We had a lot of work to accomplish in a very short time. All four adults worked until they couldn't move any further. Even the little ones contributed for a few minutes. The entire deck was removed as well as the pool liner. In a moment of frustration, Greg tossed a support post he had fought for entirely too long across the yard and knocked out a privacy fence board. My dad started yelling through laughter, "Dude, not those! We have enough wood to remove back here! Let's leave the fence!" Greg later retorted, "I like your knickers" while we all laughed once again. The mud made the job far more challenging than necessary and we weren't yet finished when I had to leave but overall, despite the weather, a few set backs and minor injuries it was a successful trip.

For the record, Dad doesn't make looking like this a habit. He was in the pool while the liner was being ripped out. Thanks to all the rain and and pump that couldn't keep up, he was wading through water at one point in our day. 

I hit the road after dinner Monday and four and a half hours later finally pulled into our driveway exhausted. Construction delays, road blocks and potty breaks creating a much longer drive than expected. Surprise! Again.

Someone couldn't stop playing at Grandpa's house long enough to eat dinner and took it with him. Five minutes after leaving Grandpa's, he was sound asleep and remained that way until 6:50 this morning when I woke up to him, "organizing (his) tools" in his bedroom. This little man is his father's child. 

This evening Greg sent this shot to show what he helped accomplish today while I babysat five extra little ones, mowed the yard, grocery shopped and washed the muddy laundry. Believe me, he still wins for toughest work load. That pool was installed over 20 years ago and had no intention of leaving anytime soon. It put up a fight worth noting. Helping my parents prepare for retirement and relocation away from the area I still consider home left me a bit somber as I departed last evening. I suppose over time, wherever my family lands will be home but for now, this mud pit of a back yard holds a lot of precious memories.

A day of promise

I don't recall ever seeing a more vibrant rainbow first thing in the morning. A stunning sunrise awakening this day. I can only imagine it will be a great day full of promise.

Makenna joined her older sisters and acquired eye glasses. We are currently beefing up our health savings account but she looks pretty cute and promises they will help her succeed in school.

Boys!

Last evening, I took Ty, Kate and Erin with me to Makenna's choir concert. Ty panicked as we entered the theater because he was afraid it might be scary. I assured him there wasn't anything to be afraid of; however, Ty sat through the concert with his hands over his ears anyway. They sounded great despite my son's reaction.

A few weeks ago, Greg walked up behind me in the kitchen and seasoned food I had just prepared. I asked him what he was doing and he answered, "helping you". Thanks but I just finished seasoning that food and didn't think it needed more. Did you taste it first? He answered that he hadn't and I very calmly asked him if he could use words the next time he wanted to help so that I could perhaps direct him toward a task that would indeed be helpful.

This morning, Ty and I had a discussion about our upcoming trip to Grandma and Grandpa's house. He wants them to come to our house instead. I pointed out the purpose of the visit is to help Grandma and Grandpa tear down their pool and deck so we have to go there this time. Ty first analyzed he hadn't eaten enough vegetables lately to be strong enough to help. I pointed out that we would use saws and hammers to break the wood and then he could carry it to the trash. He took off in a flash to gather his tools and was ready to leave immediately. He has the tools to help after all. By the way, if you have eaten your veggies and are willing to help this weekend, stop by! We won't be out and about socializing this trip but would welcome more muscles to the task if you want to see us.

On Sunday, I went to church and Greg stayed behind with teens who's schedules overlapped my volunteer hours. I made a list of things I needed to achieve that day to be prepared for the week ahead. Greg noted the list and had the kids help clean the house before I returned. It was a wonderful surprise. I was grateful and he scored major points. However, I noted over the next couple of days some really unusual streaking on the entertainment center. I finally asked Greg this morning what product he used to dust the furniture. A sheepish expression quickly passed over his face before he asked me why I wanted to know. I mentioned the streaks, trying to keep my voice very accepting because only an idiot would discourage people from dusting the house for her. He slowly answered, "Amour-all so dust won't stick to it". I casually walked out of the room, took a few deep breaths and then walked back in where I again remained very calm and requested he use his words when he wants to help.

My son helps me gain a deeper understanding of my husband. They want to help. They want to use tools to make jobs easier and more effective. They think differently than their female counterparts. I love them both dearly. Now if you will excuse me, I need to Google how to remove Armour-all from entertainment centers.

So this is 40

I spent my day cleaning, chasing babies, running kids and nurturing my family. Makenna's choir concert wrapped up my evening. I am a regular party animal. In between spills and tantrums, my phone buzzed repeatedly with happy birthday texts and phone calls. Facebook flooded with well wishes too. I am pretty darn blessed.

As I approached my 40th year, I started thinking about who am I beyond a mom and wife. I am still seeking more fullness to that answer but I am comfortable in my skin, nurturing and life giving. Worrying about being accepted is no longer something I make much time to consider. Praise God for that growth as it was a long time coming. Of course, with that growth came the realization that there are people who no longer fit in my life. And that is okay as well. Relationships that tear down are best left unfed; people pleasing being a habit I needed to let go.

My relationship with Jesus is evolving. He still challenges me, pushes me and equips me to love deeper than I believe my heart alone is capable. There are times I ride the ebb and flow of life alongside Jesus well. Then there are seasons when I think we aren't communicating well. Those moments are unpleasant but appear necessary for my life's journey.

I have been married almost half my life and have lived with Greg longer than I lived with my parents. I look at Erin and wonder what we were thinking, but growing up together worked for us. He is the laid back partner in this marriage for sure but I am slowly letting go and enjoying life more than being busy. It's a process. I am pleased to be entering what I assume is the second half of my life determined to loosen up rather than dig my heels more deeply into patterns and routines. Make no mistake, I still thrive on routine but tend to linger more as I choose to embrace moments.

I find joy in simple pleasures. A good book, tea and dinner with a friend being among my most favorite ways to invest in me. As my dad so eloquently stated, my thirties are now dead. The forty year old me is comfortable and content.

Ty picked dandelions that have gone to seed for me today so I would have something to blow out even though he was rather irritated with me for having a birthday. He needs one to get his five and was convinced it was his turn again. If it weren't bittersweet to see my kids growing up so quickly, I would let him have mine from now on. I think forty suits me.

Family Photos

A few months ago, I asked Anne if she could help me with something and then quickly went on to say I was going to haul my couch out into the field. Before I could finish my thought, Anne had a bewildered expression on her face. I went on....and then I want to take family photos on it. I think early fall would be gorgeous. If you would take our photos, I would be happy to reciprocate and you can also use my couch if the idea appeals to you. Anne just stared for a minute and then hesitantly agreed to my suggestion. She finally confessed she wasn't sure what I was going to do when I started with hauling my couch out into the field. She anticipated spray paint would be involved. Greg believes I deserve this reputation. The sofa is safe. I think.

I realized this week there was a strong possibility we could pull off family photos on Saturday. I confirmed Anne would be available when I noted all my girls were off early enough to permit evening shots. I then emailed a few friends, "pray we can have all three girls convinced their hair is acceptable and Ty willing to cooperate. Never-mind. Pray for a miracle!" Getting this group together with willing spirits is an act of God these days. So, without further delay, some of my favorite outtakes.

Brutus spread out all over the couch, happy to be the center of attention as we attempted a few final shots. We then loaded up the family and took a quick tour of the neighborhood to horrify the teenagers. As Greg says, this parenting gig is far more entertaining now that we embarrass them more than they embarrass us.

Thank you for playing along Anne! We couldn't have pulled this off without you.

Lofty Goals

Wednesday evening Makenna discovered blisters in her mouth. She had a headache, achy body, upset stomach and overall feeling of being ill. Thursday morning she reported she couldn't breathe without mouth pain so she was sent back to bed. After calling the school attendance line, I headed toward the bedroom with my cup of tea to get cleaned up for the day. Devyn arrived early, diverting my plan. But, I started my day with a to do list anyway:

clean floors
bake apple crisp
grocery shop
Kate's schoolwork
meet Karen for tea at 6

By four o'clock, the list looked more like this:
brush teeth
meet Karen at 6:15, come heck or high water (shower and combed hair optional)

Thank God for friends like Karen! I think she would have met me anyway. We sat on a patio for two hours. I didn't stop for groceries. It was glorious. That left today with the same to do list, Lauren's internship and two additional little ones. But Makenna returned to school. Kate wrapped up her school work; grounded for the evening but finished none the less. The extra children were fed, happy and relatively clean when they left my house today. Overall, it was a successful day.

Because most of the week looked more like this, which is it's own kind of success.

Ty is well on his way to full health restoration though. Today for lunch he requested oatmeal, hot dogs, pizza AND watermelon!

Lauren's internship, part time jobs and school transportation have become a royal pain. I am looking forward to her drivers license in December!

Pre-nap walks throughout the neighborhood don't go unnoticed, to say the least. 

Is it Friday yet?

I am not going to lie. Nurturing sick people is not my area of expertise. My tolerance for illness in myself or those I love is about 24 hours. After that, I am over it and hope they are too.

This little guy brought hand foot and mouth to our house last week. We still love him. Ty and Devyn developed it this week. Ty is miserable and whiny. Really whiny. All.Night.Long.Whiny. Devyn is a pretty tough girl and not complaining. Just saying.

Ty is improving. He would feel better if he'd accept Motrin for pain relief but he swears he can only take medicine Colby's mom gave him. We all miss Robyn! She was the doctor who prescribed acyclovir for his on-going battle with cold sores. We still use it when he has a nasty outbreak. I tried fibbing to convince him Robyn wanted him to take Motrin. He saw right through it. He doesn't take purple medicine anymore. Mommy might though.

Kate has struggled enough with schoolwork the last few weeks, I reached out to our teacher for assistance. She set Kate up on an intensive language arts program that requires two hours online each day. It isn't the direction I wanted to take but am already seeing improvement. Kate was in tears on Monday because it was taking so long to work through her lesson. Eyes were tired and hurting. She couldn't see the screen clearly. It was so hard, etc....

I unearthed reading glasses Lauren wore in third grade. They were a very low prescription written by Uncle Brad to build confidence. As it turns out, that script is still effective. Kate's eyes were immediately well rested, the screen was clearer and the lesson easy. She looks pretty cute too.

So long......

The kids are grieving the loss of an old friend. Greg discovered a crack in the frame of the trampoline last week. On Sunday we took it down and located three more cracks hidden in supports. It scares me to think what could have happened had Greg not inspected it. My kids loved that trampoline. Heck, I liked jumping with them too. (Only when I assumed the neighbors weren't home!) Ty has sat in it's place a few times with his head down, sad to have said goodbye. Kate was mastering some pretty awesome flips and is also having a hard time letting it go. Even Erin who jumped late at night misses it. But, there is some good news. Kate put a trampoline on her Christmas list where a puppy used to be!

We now have outdoor toys occupying the area the trampoline was anchored. We're allowing some time to pass before deciding what Santa may or may not do about a replacement. He already lugged one onto his sleigh three years ago. The elves must have been cutting corners in the Orbounder factory in 2010. I mention their name deliberately because I told the new elves in charge of "customer service" I would. We had to replace some springs and the mat in 2011. The pad and enclosure didn't make it through 2012 and the frame fell apart in 2013. That my friends is quality craftsmanship. Take pride Orbounder. Take pride.

These guys created an elaborate super hero mission to rescue overturned construction trucks stuck in sand dunes on Sunday afternoon. Who needs Halloween for costumes or a trampoline for fun?

In all seriousness, if you own a trampoline, please inspect yours. I am so relieved Greg is as safety conscience as he is. Someone could have been seriously injured.

I love my children

Tonight:
Erin informed me tonight she wrote Makenna out of gym class today.

Umm, excuse me?

Yes, she needed to miss swimming. I let the gym teacher know she would join them next week but needed today off. I put my cell number for him to call me if he had any questions.

Erin, you are not her mother.

I know but I needed to continue my legacy and it's been awhile since I excused anyone from school.

The things I have learned since she completed high school.


And this conversation took place in the car this afternoon:
Kate mentioned my upcoming birthday. She then clarified 40 is old. Right?

Yes Kate, from what I have been told, 40 is old. Why?

Well, I am trying to think of people older than you. Daddy is older than you.

Yes he is.

And Grandma and Grandpa are older than you too.

Yes they are.

Mom, the only other people I can think of that are older than you are dead.

Thanks Honey.

Apples and Hair Cuts

Someone was a little confused. 

Anne and I took the kids to the orchard today to pick apples. Neither of us was able to easily capture photos this time because the kids are older and make very quick work of the process. We reminisced about our last trip to Huber's together. They've all grown so much!

This evening Kate, Ty and I had hair appointments. Erin rode along. Rosie is a smart lady so she took advantage of Erin being there and talked her into her first trim in thirteen months.

I love Kate's hair! She chose the length.

Ty got tired of waiting and laid down.  He requested spikes this time and worried about going to bed because they "might go flat".

Oh yeah. She loves haircuts.