April

The sound of a basketball bouncing in the driveway is heard almost every night again. Windows are often open and the world is no longer gray. I love this season with it's promise of growth and renewal.  We've dined on the back patio and laughed at the confused rooster crowing at all hours of the day nearby. We've had on both the air conditioning and heat in the same day and laundry holds both shorts and heavy sweatshirts. It must be spring. 

Diesel's first real pup cup. He loved it.

Since January, I've continued reading but failed to post updated lists. I don't have the time I once did with added hours and commutes factored into my schedule. But as the season has shifted and my porch swing beckons, reading is required for resting well. Thank goodness for quality novels and sunshine. (* indicates titles I would recommend to others)

• An Anonymous Girl
• Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe
• Before the Coffee Gets Cold
• Ordinary Grace
• Prom Mom
• Demon Copperhead*
• Even if He Doesn't *
• Bel Canto
• The Fight to Flourish
• The Covenant of Water

Future Midwest dad here. This kid and his weather fascination borders on manic sometimes, but I no longer need friends to call me with forecasts. (I am known for ignoring the news and media warnings.) Ty's in charge now and takes his role very seriously.

He got a perm and it was initially tighter than he liked but loosened with daily showers and weekly swim sessions. 

"Mom, it's crazy but most kids my age don't know that rain has a scent? Can you imagine not smelling rain?" He has my heart. He won an award this month for the third quarter. He was recognized for his kindness and respectfulness toward not only his teachers, but also his peers. I love that a teacher not only saw him, but celebrated his character. He is not a scholarly student and typically flies under radar. This felt like a significant moment. I wish I could have been at the ceremony but my parents came for a visit and joined Greg to support Ty. 

Back in 2000 when Greg had his 25 foot fall off a ladder, we received an incredible amount of support from friends and our church family. To this day, I can recall so many faces of people delivering food, groceries, wrapped gifts for our children and little notes with cash that said, "don't mention this to your parents." For the record, that implies Greg's parents, not mine. Mine were grateful for the support. His thought that at 26 and 30 years of age, we shouldn't have needed help with three children and limited income. But I digress. In that period I acquired a grocery angel. Every week, in the mail, I would receive a hand written note and $50 gift card to a grocery store. And on one particular difficult morning, a $100 cashier's check for school clothes literally stopped me cold. I had just paid the bills and was left with $1 in our account. It was the day my mom was coming to help me go to the consignment store to get Erin fall clothes for kindergarten. I cried because I had made arrangements for someone to sit with Greg and my mom to help me with the three kids. It was like planning for a major event to leave the house in those days. I knew I had to cancel and I worried about meeting Erin's needs. When I opened that check, I cried and acknowledged God saw me and physically met a very specific need. Furthermore, mom needed something at Target that day so we went there first. The clearance rack had long sleeved shirts and pants in Erin's size for $1.74 each. We never made it to the consignment store. Mom instead treated us to lunch and I put a little money into our account. 

Months later, I met my grocery angel. She was a sweet little retired lady who helped the church with the finances. She heard about us repeatedly in church meetings and used her position to secure our address. She later recalled the day she went to the bank for the cashier's check. She had been praying for me and very clearly heard the Lord say, "children's clothes" and knew she was asked to help. This is one of those moments I recall anytime I begin to worry about something. You see, it isn't comfortable and it isn't something I can plan or predict, but God is absolutely in the details of my life. 

My grocery angel will be 87 next month. We still write letters monthly and I called her recently to check in. She has such a sweet and beautiful spirit. I occasionally have to assure her we don't need her financial support. As close as we have remained through the years, first as prayer partners and then as pen pals once we moved away from Dayton eighteen years ago, I don't know her children and have started to consider how to politely request she give her daughter my contact information. At almost 87, eventually I will want to be back in Dayton to pay my respects. 

Thanks to generous gift cards, Greg and I had a date day that wasn't to Home Depot. It was a nice change of pace. First I took him to the salt cave in the float center I love. He wasn't so sure about the grown up tree house but grew to relax and appreciate the 45 minutes of quiet and deep breathing. 

We then used another gift card and went to our favorite restaurant for Cuban food. Greg indulged in Cuban coffee and I ordered my favorite dish, Masas de Puerco with grilled vegetables and sweet potato fries. The warm, smoked honey for those fries is about the only dipping sauce I ever consider. It's so good.  The day was a perfect balance of rest and laughter and connection. We needed it. 

These guys never need help relaxing....

Ty was out of school for the eclipse. He enjoyed watching it and loved the "e-learning day" at home more. Austin and Lauren were also out of school so they too, enjoyed the transformation. I wish I'd been at home with my family for the day too, but someone had to work......

I laughed way too loud at this.

And also this. 

We learned early in the month a friend in Ohio passed away suddenly. Nick and Amy came alongside us when Ryan died and loved us through a few of the memorial services hosted by the hospital. They'd previously lost a child to cancer and helped us navigate grief in a way that honored our marriage and preserved our family. We've never forgotten them even though we've drifted apart in the years we've been away from Dayton. Knowing Amy has now lost her amazing husband on top of losing her daughter, Sarah absolutely crushes me. I wish in all the ways I could protect her shattered heart. Life is anything but fair. 

It's been a year of growth and grace because eighteen months ago, I could not have imagined being in a place that would welcome our ex son-in-law back into our home after the pain he caused. But here we are, our messy and complicated selves walking in joy anyway. 

Austin asked for a day out with Mimi. We went to the garden center in search of flowers to create hanging baskets and lemon grass to deter bugs on our deck. Austin enthusiastically selected his favorite plant......

"Because it's strong enough to grow in concrete." I love this kid. We later went for a walk to a local creek and watched him stomp in water, collect treasures and create stories about "the rarest animal" which is able to transform into crocodiles, woodpeckers and an unknown creature that loses it's shell on pavement. His imagination is enchanting.

Our evenings are often spent sitting alongside a baseball field laughing at the shenanigans of kindergarteners. There is nothing quite like the distractedness of the average little guy left to play in the dirt. These poor coaches got a lot more than they bargained for when they agreed to teach this age how to play ball. It delights me.

He had a game at 7pm one night and I told him I go to bed at 8pm. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "not on Thursday." So, long story short, I was on the ball field that Thursday at bedtime. 

 

I don't know what this is but I love it. 

Please note the location of the baseball in these last two shots. I cannot love this more.

This month I spent some time exploring the idea behind Ebenezer Stones. Biblically, they were monuments set in significant places to remind the Israelites of times God provided a physical need or an unexpected victory. I have wondered about a way to physically note those times for our family legacy. Showing our children all the ways God has carried us in difficult times and how we were still so wildly blessed despite painful circumstances has lately felt imperative. The world is chaos and our lives often feel as though we are stuck in the middle of the ocean while a storm relentlessly blows. Whereas the storm will continue to rage, we have a hope found in keeping our eyes firmly locked on Jesus. He will not let us drown. The battery of enduring the storm remains, but hope stays.

March

Greg and I had a less than pleasant parenting conversation with one child and when it ended, my brat of a husband hugged me and whispered into my ear, "This is your fault. You raised them on Christian music and banned SpongeBob." He is lucky I appreciate his sense of humor.

He stopped by with his mom and elected to stay. I love having him close enough for spontaneous visits.

He stole my sweater and declared he was also a Mimi. I ended up in a different sweater and he wanted that one too. I kept the second because #boundaries.

This lovely lady included us in her 50th birthday celebration weekend. We had a great time meeting her in-laws and being together.

She got to push the buttons! 

We practiced yoga together in person while celebrating her birthday. This was so much more fun than our nightly virtual practices.

I am not a drinker, like at all, but touring distilleries and visiting local swanky bars is something I could learn to enjoy. Watching people devour hot dogs and fried pickles from food trucks on our way to dinner amused me. These people are naturally funny, alcohol just enhanced the hilarity.

This sleepover was planned. His mom needed to get some personal belongings moved and protected Austin from seeing her emotional. Their transition from Hawaii is finally complete. It's been a bumpy journey; one I still wish wasn't real. 

Diesel loves Austin's sleepovers and cannot get close enough to him when they sleep. Austin loves this too. He begs Remi to sleep with him at home but she prefers Lauren. And Ricky is still in a crate at night because he absolutely cannot be trusted to not destroy the house while people sleep.

This little stinker managed to get twenty of us to join him for dinner on his actual birthday despite a party planned a week and a half later. He has his grandparents right where he wants them; around his little finger.

Everyone loved the afternoon hike

These jeans needed constant attention or we feared they'd fall down.

We took Ty, Austin and Diesel on a short hike near our house. It was a ruse to get six year old photos taken of the reluctant subject. Despite his lack of cooperation, I was able to keep up with him and was delighted with the results. He was too. I hope he remembers how he felt when he saw these images the next time I need his participation with my camera. 

We hosted dinner for friends on Saturday to celebrate Greg's birthday and then held dinner for the whole gang to celebrate Erin, Greg and Easter so we wouldn't need to do this two weekends in a row. Ty, of course, wanted his basket goodies early too. I declined. Maybe there is some tradition hiding in there somewhere. But Austin helped me scoop no-bake cookies and despite the less than appetizing appearance, they were quite tasty and appreciated by all guests.

They've been sharing birthdays for twenty-nine years.

The end of March marked the one year anniversary of Taylor demanding a divorce. We have come a long way since the shock of his personality change and declaration. Sometimes he seems so much like his old self, it's almost harder to accept the reality of who he has become. There was a moment when Lauren and Taylor needed to talk as parents to discuss an important situation. The conversation happened in front of Makenna who was so proud of them, she offered to start them a sticker chart for parenting well despite their differences. As hilarious as preschool teacher Makenna's reward system was, it was also refreshing to see they can still do what's needed for Austin. This is what we celebrate now. It certainly isn't what we anticipated for their future but we take the little wins and apparently celebrate them with stickers.

Kate, her boyfriend Riley and Austin arrived at the same time. I loved the little arrangement by the door. My mom brought all the grandkids chocolate bunnies or eggs and apparently Diesel believed he needed one too. Ty's five foot tall dresser was knocked over and an entire egg was consumed. He showed no adverse effects but ticked Ty off, none the less. 

The second sweater he attempted to heist. We shared it instead.

Greg worked his final day with the temporary job and was thanked with a bottle of Woodford and a gift card to our favorite Cuban restaurant. They appreciated him and enjoyed his company. We wish he could have stayed as he enjoyed the people and didn't mind the work. Career hunting has taken a significantly longer amount of time than we anticipated or appreciate. At times I worry he is being sabotaged but then remind myself who is ultimately in charge. Despite the lengthy wait, I have faith the right door will open when God's timing is perfect. It isn't yet without some anxiety but we are still hanging in there. 

Please note the timestamp on this text.

On his way to Mimi's house for Easter nachos eight hours later. Yes, we had nachos on Easter Sunday. No one complained. 

Ty's long-awaited Easter basket he begged early access to.... Even though he wasn't eager to wake up for the treats, he located better hiding places than the previously mentioned dresser top. Diesel, no doubt, will find a way to overcome this challenge.

Based on this plant's condition last summer and fall, I wasn't sure it would bloom again this spring. I'm grateful for it's determination.

Diesel stays on high alert when his little buddy spends the night. The next day is always met with long naps for the protector. He loves Austin.

Ty has shared his love of Spiderman with Austin.

Easter Sunday was filled with fresh air, laughter, an epic six year old meltdown and tension between sisters. Nothing is perfect but in the midst, an ex-son in-law-made guacamole and laughed at a boyfriend in good humor. This is grace, messy and complicated. This is us.