Week Thirty-five

Saturday I delivered Austin to Erin so she and Evan could take him to the zoo. Austin is very focused on Evan becoming his uncle and can't wait for the wedding to give him the title. They bought him ice cream, a donut and a stuffed Eagle. He says it was the best day ever. They've spoiled future trips where the zoo is the outing. Lauren and I appreciate that. Insert eye roll here.

While they were out, I spent the day alone in Louisville. It had been so long since I was last in a mall, I had no idea Sears was now Top Golf. Things change every where, I guess. But I wandered and touched things I didn't buy and ultimately ended up at Trader Joe's for veggies and grain free snacks. It was a beautiful morning of solitude. 

The week exposed some feelings of frustration toward coworkers who fail to extend grace. It's tough for me to see people unable to tolerate the most vulnerable among us. But I was there to hug a tearful new friend in a moment of exhaustion and got to bond with a child believed most difficult. I think we might be buddies now. And in the end, despite the chaos of my both my personal life and work world, there is hope and light. 

Coworkers gifted fresh tomatoes and both Lauren and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Greg and I slipped out to Costco after work one night and I'm grateful he drove. Rush hour traffic isn't for the anxious. And then this evening, we finished our errands for the weekend so we can rest a bit this Labor Day. 

Austin saw the doctor for a giant blister covering the top half of his thumb. The school nurse called after it burst in her office to report obvious infection and concern it would need drained. He came home in a bandaid and with sticker for being brave. The doctor opted to start antibiotics and watching it rather than subject him to a painful procedure.  We have no idea what started the blister in the first place. However, as Austin described the moment it burst, my eyes filled with tears so it was determined that Mimi is not tough enough to assist with the appointment. I handle this stuff better as a mom than I do as a Mimi. 

I battled two migraines this week and the second one left me depleted and sad. I've had a pretty good run of pain free weeks so the sudden change is discouraging. 

Greg advertised pulled pork on Instagram....

We dined on the patio several times this week and opened windows to freshen the air in our home. The cool front was not only welcomed, but celebrated.

This dog and his drool are both insane. To his credit, the steak was that good.

Lauren and Kate signed a lease on a home in the area. They are moving in a couple of weeks. I'm having some feelings. Today I wore my, "It's fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine" tee shirt. It was a wardrobe toss up between it and the, "Nope. Not today." tee shirt. Some weeks just need wrapped up with humor. This was absolutely one of them.

Week Thirty-four

After our glorious days away, Greg once again began dreaming aloud about living in a small cabin in the woods when we retire. I share this dream. However, he keeps pointing out sheds for sale on roadside businesses indicating our next home. I laugh that if he wants to go that small, he best be planning to move somewhere warmer because I need to be outside more as it is. He flippantly reminds me it would be insulated. This is not my point. Remember the tiny home craze that was all over HGTV for a season? Notice how we never hear about tiny homes any more? I think HGTV and Investigation Discovery could work together on a new series; Tiny Homes: Homicide. If I am going to live with someone in a shed, there best be a way for me to get outside. Don't get me wrong, I love him and love our quiet get-aways but fresh air and sunlight are imperative to my mental health. He thinks we may retire in North Carolina. He is a smart man. 

Greg and I had more kitchen help than we knew quite what to do with Sunday. Not all our helpers are actually helpful but they are pretty cute.

In his defense, Remi took his spot. But seriously, this dog is ridiculous. In the end, I did actually nap. Apparently we all adapt when we have to.

Austin and Pops made breakfast together this morning; four pancakes stacked with syrup between layers.

Talking to Kenna about the five senses.

Chugged one of Pop's protein drinks and then felt his muscles grow.

Look at those muscles! 

Week Thirty-three

I've spent some time analyzing why the self care movement never appealed to me. Perhaps it links back to my Church of God roots where I was  designed to be in constant service and idle hands were the work of Satan. Maybe further back when I learned as a child that needing anything wasn't acceptable to the budget or limited patience. Either way, the idea of an expensive beverage or having nails done always seemed frivolous so I couldn't relate. I still can't. But this week I stumbled upon a commentary discerning the difference between self comfort and self care. The distinction, for me, is imperative. Lattes and nail appointments are self comfort and can be indulgent but self care, as it should be explained, is health focused. For me, it's more veggies and less sugar. It's nightly yoga to assist in better sleep and less morning pain. It's taking the meds I resent needing and resting when the meds aren't enough. It's accepting naps aren't the work of the devil and in fact, required on the weekends if I'm going to remain fully present with the kiddos I get to support at work. I'm leaning in and listening better to the ways my health is changing and adapting where I can. That is self care and whereas the last year of health complications has thrown me for a loop, ignoring the pain has not served me well. And if I'm being honest, neither has my previous hard held escape of reading. Disassociating from my world isn't coping, it's hiding. And there is nothing quite like a good book to hide away into. Self care is more soul searching and journaling. Self comfort is escaping into a book. This weekend, I tackled both. Greg and I were gifted time in my friend's lake house. The peace and quiet were exactly what we needed to work through complicated emotions and circumstances. We took walks, ate healthy meals, napped on decks in gentle lake breezes and read books. Both self care and self comfort were tended to and we are both better for it. 

She met friends for a football game and had a great time. Eliminating the stress of school helps her see some of the good held in the high school community.

Sick days spent with Legos and puppy snuggles were so cozy, he debated how well he felt for school on Monday. This was a shock given how much he loves kindergarten.

I bought cherries at the grocery and we now have several seeds planted. He can't wait to have his own yard again with a garden "full of all the colors."

I was reading and then had a bit more company than I quite knew what to do with. He needed to make a restaurant for the animals trying to escape predators. We have no idea where he gets his ideas, but the recycling needed broken down anyway.

Austin was asking how someone's dog died. It was explained that he was really old and had gotten sick. Deadpan he looked me straight in the eye and asked how I was feeling. On the other hand, he had a significant meltdown over selling his Georgia house one afternoon and lamented the loss of his family since. I had to leave the room because I couldn't prevent the tears from flowing. Lauren is incredible with him as he expresses his pain. I'm blown away by his ability to name his feelings. But God, I wish I could fix this for him. 

Ty explained how disappointed he is when he comes downstairs and sees the crockpot. He knows at that moment that no matter how tired I may be after work, I'm not taking him to McDonald's instead of cooking dinner. He also surprised me with an unexpected written response to an article I assigned, a vacuumed room and chores completed without being asked. To his absolute delight, I felt his face for fever. I don't know exactly what this is, but I like it.

Week Thirty-two

 

 

He spent some dog sitting money this week and it's bringing back so many memories from his years as a little guy. He even gave guests a tutorial during dinner Saturday night. Ren's ability to remain engaged reinforced he is the perfect person for the middle school principal role he recently accepted. I just wish he didn't have to relocate to accept the position.

He likes to play hide n seek and giggles uncontrollably when we pretend we can't find him while sitting on the trunk.

He's trying to understand the purpose of a dog bed; the concept completely lost on him. 

He insists on back scratches at bedtime and apparently has decided he also needs them throughout the day. Lauren says he's high maintenance. He reminds me of his momma.

Makenna had a student color a picture of her, complete with dark circles under her eyes. Whereas I roared, Makenna was not impressed. Therefore, I was not permitted photographic evidence.

Austin spiked a fever with body aches Thursday evening and scored his first sick day today. We were worried about telling him because he loves school so much but to our surprise, he accepted the day off fairly easily. He needed a day of snuggles, popsicles and The Magic School Bus. We all did.

Week Thirty-one/Back to School

 

The cutest teacher in all the land welcomed eighteen little people into her classroom this week.

Ty reluctantly started the 8th grade.

There was some drama. Fortunately it was only with Diesel. Ty had a great first week.

Austin said he had shiveries in his belly as he prepared for his first day of kindergarten but by the time he arrived, he was more than ready to go. A brave smile and wave sent him into the building. Aunt Kenna was able to steal a hug before her new friends arrived and said he looked like a pro already. 

Monday Pops joined us for a trip to the zoo. He wanted to read all the plaques. Pops and Mimi will be back soon, sans a super fast five year old, so reading can be achieved.

Penguins are stinky.

Pops supervised a glue craft.......

Not everyone is worried about life.

He insisted I teach him to knit so all nineteen of his stuffed animals could have scarves. He quit five minutes into our lesson and commissioned me for the task with a penny.

Last weekend we hosted a birthday brunch, dinner for friends and lunch after church. It was loud and chaotic but a good distraction to the hard edges of life lately.

Walrus teeth for our favorite kindergartener. He's made two friends at school, Bucket and Parrot. We assume they are actually Beckett and Garett but he won't be corrected.

Hiding and giggling.