Stitches

Stitch by stitch my hands keep busy as my brain swirls the details. Boxes packed and taped tight with little hands applying stickers for relocation. Friends process while eating queso and we speak few of our thoughts; others are too much and not fair. Stitch by stitch until finally my head accepts the comfort of a pillow and then a sharp ring in the night announces something else is wrong. A broken car eases home and daughter tearfully expresses once again how much she's lost this year. Then yet another calls to celebrate an engagement. We balance both precariously as one grieves and another glows. Stitch by stitch my hands are busy as my brain swirls details. Can my health keep up with my job? Is there something else fulfilling for me to do? And as we consider, insurance denies a needed procedure and still my hands stitch. Migraines invade regularly and the exhaustion is heavy. A car has died leaving us once again juggling schedules and browsing for another large purchase no one wants. Stitch by stitch during a quiet morning, things started to feel settled when a box being carried by the one who provides announced he was no longer needed in the office he loved. Stitch by stitch this began as a scarf to warm a cold friend and ended up being necessary therapy.

Lauren

This isn't my story to tell. It's taken our family months to find the words. Our girl is still in extreme pain and shock. Sometimes she is angry, mostly she is sad. And our favorite little human is processing, which is often messy too. 

We love Taylor. All of us. He has been a part of our family officially for seven years and in our lives for ten. He went into a deep depression once they arrived in Hawaii and scared us all. Suicide watch was taking place for weeks. And then a switch flipped and he was manic in his energy and speech. That was equally as terrifying for Lauren to watch. It was during his manic episode he decided he was in love with a coworker he'd only known two months. No one, including the coworker believed him but he was adamant that he needed Lauren and Austin off the island in order to be happy. Our girl held her ground and fought for her marriage, begging for help. Taylor's parents and best friend tried all they knew to do to talk him into therapy and medication but he refused. Lauren worked every angle she could to try to reach the man we all know and love but he was suddenly no where to be found.

Lauren and Austin came home in April. Our guest room is now their room and they are both bewildered by the reality of it all. We are praying for Taylor and supporting Lauren and Austin as they begin to rebuild their lives. Our priority is support for Lauren and Austin. As we navigate divorce, we feel significantly out of our league. I actually apologized to Lauren for not knowing how to fully model this season for her. However, as usual, we are coating this in as much grace and compassion as possible. We may not recognize Taylor in the man he has recently become but we do know who we are and circumstances won't change anything. 

Lauren has landed a job, enrolled Austin in kindergarten and purchased a new vehicle in the short time she has been with us. We marvel at her resilience. This wasn't how she planned her life and has certainly suffered, but in the long run, Lauren isn't the one I worry about. This girl is strength personified.

Austin is visiting his dad this week. Our home is suddenly quiet and more than a little disorienting. Morning snuggles and daily tantrums are missing and we are all a little lost.  The undercurrent of worry and stress is wearing on us all. Grace and compassion. Yes. We need a lot of both.

Week Twenty-seven

We were all glad to see her Sunday in recovery mode.

This knucklehead had to see Erin on the computer screen too. 😳

Erin made it to the final twelve in the Miss Kentucky competition. She made friends, connections and spread her cervical cancer screening message. Her mission was complete but she would have preferred it be wrapped up before the competition between the final twelve. Sister was way out of her element. She carried herself well and has some hilarious stories. I'm proud of her. 

I met my girlfriends in Ohio to celebrate the second of three 50th birthdays in our group this year. The laughter was so good for my soul. These are my people. I'm so grateful for each and every one of them.

We have another safety guy in the house. This one carries a sword.

The fourth was a quiet affair. The young adults attended firework shows while Greg and I went to bed early. Don't worry. We still heard them for days. We had a few moments of sparklers with Austin who was his usual animated self as he waved them around. This boy is something else.

Cleveland has a two story Target and the carts have their own escalator. We found way too much joy in this.

I borrowed her yoga mat.

Thursday I drove to Cleveland to see Kristil. I'd never made the drive and despite the rainy weather, found the almost six hours of solitude rather relaxing. We spent Friday shopping, dining and holding down deck chairs for hours. It was perfectly restful and exactly what my brain needed. This summer has been full and it appears I need to leave the house to rest well. I'm so glad Kristil is within reasonable driving distance now. Texas was way too far away. 

Week Twenty-six

 

He didn't know who Grimace was but he had to try his birthday shake. I'm still shocked he didn't know Grimace. Kate didn't either.

Lauren photographed from outside the exhibit. Birds freak her out.

The lorikeet stole the cup of nectar and then another one was nibbling on my hair. Austin was delighted.

He loves Tucans and they had one this week.

He too can stand like a flamingo 

Stopped by to see our girl off to her big competition week.

Two things: 1. Austin started a competition with Diesel to see who got to be closest to me in the mornings. Apparently Diesel understood because he started claiming the spot as soon as Greg vacated it. And 2. Austin's new word is Bamboozled. He uses it in perfect context and it makes me smile every time. "Diesel bamboozled me and got my spot." Ty, not feeling well, claimed the final sliver and Austin reluctantly agreed to my lap over the coveted cuddle position next to me. PS. My mornings are not as quiet as they used to be.

He helped me trim back the shrubs and claimed this branch as "a fire sword." Alrighty then.

Ty is under here. If he gets up and out the door with us in the mornings, this is the scene in the afternoon.

Teen library department. It's pretty cool. 

We've got babies! Austin is quite excited. Mimi is too.

Austin collected hail from the yard after the storm and insisted we keep in the fridge. Pops got him a storage container and moved it to the freezer. Pops would not have done this for anyone else. 

Another day, another storm. Some comfort items were needed this round.

Sleepovers with Austin are a bit too cozy.....see that triangle shaped space in the right hand corner? That was my spot. 

Erin shared this after her interview portion of the competition.

I bought Diesel new toys. These are Kong, allegedly the strongest available. The wand was taken away ten minutes after he got it. He had the ball on the bed with us while I napped and half was missing when I woke up. Awesome.

A friend shared this and I was truth smacked.

Ty spent the week sick with an ear infection that got worse before he improved. Oliver loved the snuggles and Austin loved our pediatrician. He tried claiming he too needed his ears checked so he could spend more time talking with her. 
Austin predicted Ty's ear infection occured because I yell up the stairs for him rather than walk up to get him. The fact I have to be heard over his headset is completely lost on both Ty and Austin. Ty was really hoping Austin would share his observations about my yelling with the pediatrician to watch me be embarrassed. 

The babies are growing quickly. Momma allows me to water the flowers around her and the babies without flying away now. 

Pops got a new hardhat so Austin scored the hand-me-down.

Erin answered her community service question thoroughly and clearly. She knows her platform well.

"Her story" is a talent option. Erin had ninety seconds to share her cervical cancer prevention and awareness campaign and did so beautifully. I'm pretty impressed with this girl. 

Morning walks with a few of my favorites.

They like to run ahead and than wait for me to catch up. 

Naps after walks are necessary.

Week Twenty-five

Ironically the one with the reputation for being naughty is not on the counter.

I took him to lunch and told him I had a surprise there. He later told Erin, "Mimi said there was a surprise. It was Pops. I don't think that's a good surprise." 

Library haul. He never wants to return books. He generally loves them all.

He selected all 14 of my earned pins and then proceeded to have most of them applied to his backpack.

He told the neighbor Diesel really likes her yard because he likes long grass. She immediately text her lawn guy with a giant sigh. This boy throws a lot of shade for someone his size. 

When I realized what was about to happen here, I knew I had two choices. Scold or photograph. 
I stand by my decision.

"Pops always get to have sleepovers with Mimi and that's not fair." When asked where else Pops would sleep he suggested the couch. Pops is feeling loved.

He really just wanted to eat the hot cocoa ball.

His daddy told him painted nails are for girls and he countered, "they are red and that can be a boy color."

It was a rainy week so we spent a lot of time playing inside. He even scored a hot cocoa because of the wet, gross weather. But then on Thursday, we took advantage of the cooler, cloudy day and toured the zoo. He decided the new red panda was his favorite, right behind the meerkat who has been tied with lemurs for a couple of years. He'd like all three as pets. 

PS. He did not relax or nap on the way home. He gets really angry if you insinuate otherwise.

Greg and I managed two actual dates this week. Dinner on Wednesday and ice cream on Thursday. I love my summer schedule.

He didn't want anything.......🤔

My boss is also a good friend. He is managing a project in our yard and mentioned a glitch "that could always be worse." I laughed as I pointed out the frequency in which he states that and noted a few times things in fact could NOT get much worse. I then had shirts made in his honor for our first staff tee shirt day. Of course I also got one for his wife to wear too. 

The back says, "I guess so." It's another one of his famous quotes.

If only enthusiasm equalled skills.

He insisted I buy these for him and his mommy. His mommy didn't get any.