Kids and Anxiety

Six dollar clearance bouquets are some of my happiest finds.

I began asking students about their favorite Christmas traditions this week. The best answer was a child sharing her family spends the season making paper chains and origami ornaments. They do this in the evenings all month long, every year and I absolutely love it. Then I asked Ty. He loves making pizelles and buying gifts for those in need. Rarely, but sometimes none the less, he lets me see his heart. 

Kate and I attended her high school's Winter Fantasia Tuesday. It was a musical collaboration of almost 400 students. The talent was extraordinary and it was beyond time to see the program back in the auditorium after two years off due to covid restrictions. 

Our group texts are often full of ridiculousness. I love this season with my girls. They make me laugh, stress me out and leave me in awe. I'm definitely the lucky one. 

A friend needed a last minute sitter due to an emergency Monday. Diesel loved Scarlette and could not believe it when she stopped playing with him to build a train track. His pouts are legendary. I hope she returns soon to keep him entertained. Because by Thursday night, the tantrums were no longer endearing and Kate's boyfriend has a chewed up boot as evidence of his opinion about sharing attention. This dog. I think we are making great strides and then he creates expensive chaos. 

Wednesday evening I video chatted with my parents to lead my dad through a computer glitch and my mom laughed as Diesel stared me down at 5:02. His dinner is served at 5pm and I was sitting down. I laughed and continued my conversation. He then used his entire body to repeatedly bump the side of my chair to get me up. It's simply amazing how well he knows certain routines but can't seem to remember he isn't allowed to eat the cat food or get things off desks in the kid's rooms. Get a dog we said. We miss this we said. 

You know you work in an elementary school when....

Despite the silly accessories and adorable stories at work this week, I found myself working through a panic attack for two solid days. It was the first time I woke in the night with one. This was only my fourth ever and it was difficult to push through. My dream life leading up to it was turbulent so I know my subconscious is processing several significant experiences. I share this here because I am a believer and I have literally left my conscience worries at the foot of the cross; however, just because I am actively pursuing the peace of Christ, doesn't mean I'm immune to being human in a broken world. We recently heard bits of a sermon and later a prayer indicating anxiety is sinful and I spent weeks studying the topic with my Bible. I've landed firmly on the side of calling it false. This empathetic heart of mine loves and feels deeply for others. I was made this way and called to serve out of empathy. Those promptings, although often heartbreaking, are how God shows me who needs support. And sometimes the grief that comes with the caring for others hits hard. If waking unable to breathe is a sin, then God forgive me. But it simply doesn't fit the character of Christ. He allows us to cast our cares upon him but doesn't condemn us for feelings and concerns that linger.

Kenna calls this student her Honeybadger

Her shirt had the same image as the Grinch book. Her students were underwhelmed.

Kennedy visited the class for the Grinchmas Party and posted this on Instagram. Hilarious.

And wrapping on a more fun note, our ornery grandson giggles daily about the shenanigans of his elf, Buddy. This morning, Buddy was sticking out of a stocking and Austin analyzed the situation briefly before turning on the fireplace. Lauren demanded an explanation. Austin wanted to see Buddy move. He figured the heat would motivate him. Whereas his decision has some dangerous implications, I can't help but be impressed with his logic. 

Life

Austin woke at 4am Saturday vomiting and burning with fever. His daddy went down within hours too so they hit the road a day early. It was a good call. By Sunday, both Taylor and Austin needed medical care for the flu. Austin was still feverish as of yesterday. 

We pulled ourselves together to say goodbye without emotions and I held my tears in until Austin cried to stay at Mimi's. The next three years are going to be tough.

There were pillows on this couch.

This bed was made when we went to sleep. Diesel has decided the guest bed is his. 

We saw significant improvement in Diesel the last few weeks. He is showing more self control and has even been left unattended at night. He leaves us signs of his whereabouts but does not damage anything in the process. We are celebrating the milestones, despite how slowly they are emerging.

This week was the toughest of Greg's career.  The details aren't mine to share but the circumstances hit him hard. His good friend, who is also a safety director was able to stand in the gap and made plans with me to get Greg out for a night of dinner, relaxing and laughter Friday. I'm grateful for the friends who step in during rough weeks.

I was pretty surprised by some fun mail this week. Kate, in typical style, shrugged. She knew she was the student of the month. She failed to mention it.

She's found ice skating and Christmas light viewing buddies. 

Thankful

 

My favorite person in my favorite place.

Diesel's first pup cup. He is a forever fan.

He loves Aunt Theresa and it broke me when he held onto her as he explained he will be seven years old the next time he sees her. The reality of this visit hit hard.

We took a walk and found "nice bugs" and bear tracks

The best little helper

The craft table kept everyone engaged all day. Believe it or not, they were being strategic in a game but look so very bored.