17

 

Ryan Patrick, it's been seventeen years since you erupted fully into our lives, forever changing our hearts. At one tiny pound, you had no idea you were not in charge and I think that is part of the rub; you so fully belonged as one of us. Your strength and feisty spirit resembled the siblings you left behind. Nine exhausting days of love, hope, joy and heartbreak ended in my arms as we let you go. We are forever changed. We celebrated you early because as all babies born in December can attest, this season has it's own demands. But siblings gathered and had a birthday party in your honor; lame for sure as any seventeen year old would balk at family putt-putt but we needed it. So we hope heaven hosts a party today. Happy 17th birthday, son. You are still so very loved.

Scavenger Hunts

Ty has finally embraced hair product and his mother heard the hallelujah choir sing in celebration. Of course he wasn't wearing any for this quick snapshot, but knowing he will no longer look like Moe from the Three Stooges in public is a win.

On Monday, I left each child a note before heading to work. One was told to remember this is the end of the semester, not the end of the world and to keep perspective in final classes. The other listed two study guides that must be understood before I got home from work because grades DO matter. I signed both with a heart.

Our son was permitted to take an open book chapter test and still managed to bomb it. Big time. When pressed for an explanation, he emphatically pointed out the questions lacked page numbers for locating the answers. Greg and I have decided someone more qualified than us should be raising him. 

 

In kindergarten, my friends work on a new  book each week with their grown-ups before reading to me once they feel as though they've mastered it. Given our virtual status, we have waived the first part and have allowed anyone who wants to, read with me in the mornings. They love the one-on-one attention so I never have a lack of volunteers. This week's story was a repetitive and fairly cute story about Rudolph's nose. One feisty and I am not above admitting, favorite little guy was half way through the book when he looked me dead in the eye and declared, "this is ridiculous". I failed to contain my laughter. 

A fourth grade student I have been working with in reading groups sent me a thank you note in a Christmas card. "Teaching on Google meets is hard but you are doing a pretty good job." She made my day.

Thursday, Ms. Neumann and I spent four hours driving door-to-door delivering gifts to our kindergarten friends. We were able to see eighteen of them in person and we treasured every encounter. The kids were excited and a little stunned to see their teachers on their porches so we experienced some shyness. Overall, we felt like celebrities and are grateful the parents allowed the visits. The handmade Christmas cards were adorable. I feel loved.

We have a few kiddos who attend school virtually from daycare. It is challenging for those friends to fully participate in some of the fun activities we have planned in class. One Grinch scavenger hunt in particular was proving to be too much so those friends got to log into my classroom and chat for awhile instead. After we discussed all the silly things their elves were doing at home and what they planned to do over winter break, I told them about our annual Christmas light scavenger hunt and asked if they'd seen any fun light exhibits. One ornery little man was very excited to tell me about the Santa doing the floss. "Go to the big store. Take a right and then a left and it will be right there." I pressed for some more information about which big store he may have been referring and he very firmly included an obvious detail, "the one that sells Christmas shirts." 

In Aldi on Saturday, a couple of older gentlemen were bickering over their produce selections and I happened to catch the eye of the younger brother who made a sarcastic comment that made me laugh. Half way down the aisle, a little girl in that man's cart tapped on my arm to get my attention. "I like your laugh." The rate in which I hear comments about my boisterous laugh should embarrass me. It doesn't. 

Tonight was our traditional virtual scavenger hunt with one local family and another one in Texas. We created the virtual night of connecting when the Edwards moved to Texas in 2017, long before 2020 mandated it for everyone else. #trendsetters. 

December

I have spent the last 220 days in the old testament in an attempt to read the entire Bible in a year. Ten out of ten do NOT recommend this practice during a pandemic. As it turns out, the book of Job is not the only book in which I wrestle with God. However, in reading this week I recognized a theme that felt particularly relevant today. I personally entered the yet another presidential election looking around in disbelief. Was this really the best we can do? For me it was like telling a child, "you have a choice, you can eat the Brussels sprouts or the liver." Technically we did have a choice but neither was palatable. I felt somewhat alone in my opinion when reading and listening to my strong friends on both sides of the debate so I kept silent. However, in reading this week, it occurred to me that each time God's people endured yet another King, their entire culture changed. They were permitted to only worship whomever and however the current king mandated. Their entire way of life was often impacted by the newest leader of their world. In context, our president is simply the mouthpiece (and what a colorful one at that) for a much larger system. So for my friends convinced the world is racist as well as my friends quickly securing their conceal carry permit, calm down. As far as upheavals go, we are relatively secure in our world and the negative implications will be minor in the larger scheme of things. 

That being said, we have learned to adapt and roll with multiple punches this year and I think focusing on what a terrible year it has been sells us short. It isn't without a significant amount of stress that we have navigated challenge after challenge all year and it has taken a toll, for sure but even my son who has overall lived his best life in 2020 claims this as "the worst year ever". As his mother, I poked back, inquiring as to how. It turns out, he repeats what he's heard. We aren't so different, the kids and grown-ups, as we all tend to repeat what we've heard. It's been pretty noisy in the negativity arena lately. I'm challenging my people to end 2020 listing the highs. Usually we would also acknowledge the lows, but as it turns out, they have had enough focus this year.

My mom called this week wanting to know what she could bring Christmas Eve and I laughed. I am still wrapping up the school semester by planning for both in person and virtual students in January. We likely won't know for sure what school will look like until after we close for two weeks. Christmas Eve, on the planning scale was weeks away. She was asking the lady who served meatloaf for Easter in 2020. Perhaps this is why she called?

Our decorating and celebrating have been simple and just enough to give a positive nod in the general direction of the season. We are tired but grateful for the sunshine that allowed lunchtime walks, porch swing sitting and open windows a bit this week. The recharge has been necessary, even with a perspective shift. Pollyanna, I likely won't ever be so balancing joy with grief, chaos with quiet reflection, honest conversation with holding my tongue (and navigating which is useful in the moment), and how to feed my soul while keeping all the proverbial balls in the air. Motherhood is a circus act.

We have had the honor of serving others dinner, hosted friends for relaxed visits and even slipped over to see our oldest on the day of her latest scan. It was a good week despite internally wrestling on behalf of others struggling in this season. 
 

Baughman Christmas

On our final night together, we hosted Greg's parents for dinner. It was a very quick visit but it allowed them to see Austin in action. They commented on how much Lauren clearly works with him and Grandpa has declared him to be a handsome boy too. They were pretty taken with Austin and it was a sweet evening. 

Lauren wanted a quick photo in their matching Grinch sweaters for their Christmas frame at home. I was, of course, happy to oblige. I love this little family and am quite sad goodbye came so quickly. 

Bedtime snuggles were tough last night. They hit the road at four this morning and our house is a bit too quiet today.

We are grateful we had the time together and hope we can sweet talk them into another visit in March. 

Sibling Christmas

Kate gave Ty a giant charging/outlet stand because the boy has electronics plugged in all over the house. He was seriously pumped and thrilled with what was supposed to be a joke. As it turns out, all of them loved their gifts and have voted to do it again next year.

When they decided a few months ago to exchange silly gifts this year with a $20 limit, I was a little worried someone's feelings could unintentionally be hurt. However, I was quickly proven wrong as they each enthusiastically searched for the perfect surprise. The results were hilarious and deemed the best Christmas ever by the young adults. 

The kids and I went together to have Greg's prescription put into his old reading glasses frames so he would stop wearing his safety glasses everywhere. He threatened to wear both. Of course he did.

Ty gave gifts to Erin, a toaster kitchen timer because she jumps every time the toaster pops and a book, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety. 

My gift from the kids. By this point, Greg was fairly certain he was being roasted. 

Erin gave a gift to Lauren and Taylor groaned. Lauren thinks this is going to be displayed on their mantle. 

Lauren gave a gift to Makenna and she is ready to frame one for her car, one for her office and one for her nightstand. Layla's face as royalty is pretty entertaining. 

Makenna bought a Mathew Gray Gubler tapestry for Kate and she literally had tears of joy in her eyes as she opened it. It is the strangest but most loved of the exchanged gifts. 

After the gift exchange, the older kids played a game and are happy to report they solved all three paths before time ran out. They worked well together. 

Austin and I made cookies while the game was played. He was clearly on a sugar rush by the end of decorating as frosting was licked straight out of the bowl. He couldn't control his belly laughs and the rest of us were in tears laughing along. 

Of course, no gathering is complete without a nerf battle breaking out so Ty, Austin and Taylor kicked off lazer tag. Chaos is the working theme here. Always.

Oh, and that tapestry? It's the gift that keeps on giving.....

We have slightly different decorating styles.